


A Change in the Weather

by cacophonylights



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Romance, kurtbastian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-03
Updated: 2012-04-03
Packaged: 2017-11-02 02:07:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 81,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cacophonylights/pseuds/cacophonylights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>  The summer before college Kurt is shocked when Sebastian comes to him with a timely offer he can’t refuse.  He’ll get something he needs to realize his dreams, but in return he has to play the role of Sebastian’s boyfriend for the summer.  Neither of them know just how much their worlds are about to change. For a<a href="http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/28110.html?thread=32154062#t32154062"> GKM prompt</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It is strange how there are moments in every person’s life, these tiny little packages of time, that end up being so hugely significant simply because they are the moments right before our world begins to change and we are set on a brand new path. 

We hardly ever get a warning, they are mere seconds in the day-to-day of our lives, and only in looking back do we tend to pinpoint them, saying “There. That moment right there was the last time I existed the way I was before, because in the next moment everything shifted.”

No one knows this better than Kurt Hummel.

He remembers the moment right before he was told that a split second on an icy road had set him on the path toward learning about the heartbreak of loss the day his mother died.

He remembers the moment right before he began to sing, auditioning for Glee club sophomore year, setting him on the path toward friendship and self-acceptance.

He remembers the moment right before he looked down a staircase and said, “Excuse me, can I ask you a question? I’m new here.” setting him on the path toward Dalton and Blaine and love.

He remembers the moment before he opened a letter six weeks ago, a letter which set him on the path toward NYADA and New York and the future.

He has several little moments coming for him soon, just the seconds that exist before two conversations and a phone call, that collectively are going to be the points he looks back on as having existed right before his entire life got turned on its head, setting him on a path he never would have predicted in his wildest dreams. It is a path that is going to change his entire world, though he won’t understand that for quite some time. 

Alone, each of these moments may still have been significant, still existed before some type of change as all moments do. But together these moments hover between Kurt as he is now and Kurt as he will always be. He just doesn’t know it yet.

The first moment comes at the beginning of May right as the weather is beginning to change, heating up in earnest in anticipation of summer. It is exactly three weeks before graduation.

It is the first step.

*****

Blaine grabs him in the hallway after French, which is in and of itself surprising. Not only does Blaine try and avoid physical contact in the hallways, they both do, but usually Blaine’s on the other side of the building dashing between Math and Chemistry.

“Hey,” Kurt says, surprise coloring his face and tone, “Everything all right? I wasn’t expecting to see you until lunch.”

Blaine nods quickly, but won’t quite meet his eye either which is the second sign that something’s up. Kurt feels unease settle heavy in his stomach but tries to ignore it. This is Blaine; Blaine who he trusts, Blaine who always makes things okay even when they aren’t. There is no reason to feel such an irrational wave of dread.

“Yeah,” Blaine says, still tugging at his arm to get him to step back toward a bank of lockers and out of the flow of traffic in the hallway, “At least, I hope so. I just- I kinda need to talk to you.”

Kurt takes Blaine’s hand from where it is clutching at his arm (wrinkling the shirt that Kurt meticulously pressed this morning) and twines their fingers together instead.

“Okay,” Kurt says slowly, “Do you need to talk right now? We’ve got class in, like, two minutes.”

“I-I’d rather not wait,” Blaine says, “I was hoping maybe-can we….Kurt can we go somewhere? Your house is empty right now isn’t it?”

Now Kurt is really starting to worry, because Blaine Anderson suggesting skipping school is most definitely one of the signs of the apocalypse.

“Blaine you’re scaring me,” he admits, even though he’s already moving them down the hall and toward an exit. If Blaine wants to leave Kurt’s going to make it happen, and it will be easier to sneak away without being seen before the between-class crush dissipates. “Is someone hurt? Did someone say something to you?”

Blaine shakes his head again, moving impatiently now that it’s clear Kurt’s along for the ride. He doesn’t look at Kurt again until they’re out the doors and almost jogging to Kurt’s Navigator, but when he does Kurt recognizes the gleam in his eyes for what it is – excitement, and a little bit of fear.

It is unexpected enough to hold Kurt’s tongue until they are in the car, but even then Blaine refuses to answer his questions.

“Just take us to your house Kurt, I’d rather discuss it when we have the space and time to actually talk.”

Kurt huffs impatiently, but turns the ignition anyway and drives as fast as the little voice in his head that always tells him to be safe on the road (it sounds suspiciously like his dad) lets him. When they finally pull into his driveway he’s out of the car almost before it stops, yanking the key out and heading to the front door, sure that Blaine is following behind.

They dump their bags in the front hall and kick off shoes, no need to worry about being caught home during the school day as his dad and Carole are in DC for the week. They climb up the stairs in silence and Kurt patiently waits until Blaine is in his room, closing the door softly and moving sedately to sit next to his boyfriend on the bed, his actions in direct contrast to the screaming curiosity inside of him.

When they are settled, cross-legged with their knees pressing together, hands joined and resting between them, Kurt just arches an eyebrow and waits. Blaine doesn’t make him wait long; later Kurt will wonder if there was anything he could have done to make the wait longer. 

“So,” Blaine says, takes a deep breath like he’s organizing his own thoughts. His eyes are still bright with excitement but his features are schooled into a more somber expression. “There are two things I want to talk about, but before we do I want you to remember that I love you, so so much, and I really think all of this is going to be the best for us as an us in the end, even if it doesn’t sound like it, okay?”

“Okay,” Kurt agrees but his voice is already shaky, betraying the resurgence of dread in his gut. He feels like he’s about to start crying and Blaine hasn’t even said anything yet.

“Good,” Blaine says and smiles at him, that perfect Blaine smile that says everything is good, safe. It is the smile of reassurance, promise and love. It is Kurt’s favorite smile. It won’t be by this evening.

“I got pulled out of class today, because my dad called into the office,” Blaine begins and Kurt feels some of the dread sink away. If whatever this is has to do with Blaine’s family he can handle it, they’ve done so before and obviously no one is sick or dead or Blaine wouldn’t be near bouncing with excitement. 

“You know how I’ve been looking at music camps around Ohio to go to for the summer?” Blaine continues.

Kurt nods, they’d both spent weeks printing out applications and looking at websites to try and find a place Blaine could spend a few weeks this summer. He’d not wanted to go back to theme park work, but after all the worry over Kurt’s NYADA application this year Blaine had thought it would probably be good to have some other sort of musical experience to put on his own application the next year. 

They’d sent in his applications to a lot of places, but the one Blaine really wanted was in Columbus. It had the best reputation and was still close enough to Lima that he and Kurt wouldn’t be separated for the whole three weeks the camp lasted.

All of this runs through his mind and now Kurt is smiling too, because Blaine must have gotten in and that is wonderful news for them both.

“You got in to the Ohio State program in Columbus didn’t you?” he squeals, though the excitement dies when Blaine starts to shake his head immediately.

“No- or well, I don’t know I haven’t heard from them yet,” he corrects, “It’s better than that Kurt, I got into the program at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music.”

He looks at Kurt with a huge grin, eyes wide with hope and excitement, waiting for Kurt to join in. Kurt is still trying to think, is flashing back to the website for the Conservatory that they’d looked at briefly. It was for a 10-week program, June 15th thru August 24th. He hadn’t even known that Blaine applied.

When he answers Blaine his voice sounds quiet, but that might just be because there is a roaring sound in his ears that he can’t seem to shake.

“That’s…wow,” he settles on, his mind still spinning and the words ‘California’ and ‘ten weeks’ and ‘the whole summer’ running in a loop. “Wow Blaine.”

“I know right?!” Blaine is so clearly excited, and Kurt wonders if maybe Blaine hasn’t come to the obvious conclusions yet. Because surely he wouldn’t be this happy if he’d realized that this meant he was leaving in a few weeks for the entire summer? 

“It’s super competitive, and I wasn’t even going to apply,” Blaine is continuing, “Well you remember, we looked at the website together – but my dad talked me into it, said it would look good on college applications next year if I got in. I never expected to actually be accepted though!”

The roaring has dulled to a soft crackle, and Kurt is starting to feel his extremities again as the shock wears off and some of Blaine’s excitement seeps in. He chastises himself internally for thinking selfishly first instead of just being happy for Blaine – it is so clear this is a huge thing for him. And Kurt knows that feeling, the way you want to scream and dance and laugh, because it’s what he felt when he got his NYADA acceptance letter. Blaine hadn’t dampened that moment for him, and he won’t do it to Blaine either.

“That’s amazing Blaine,” he says with more conviction this time, letting his own face break into a huge grin and clutching his boyfriend’s hand more tightly, “You’re amazing.”

Blaine is beaming at him and Kurt can’t help but lean in to kiss him. Blaine returns the kiss, and it’s eager and a little sloppy because Blaine can’t stop grinning, but it’s also familiar and reassuring and everything Kurt loves. He gives a final nip to Blaine’s bottom lip and then pulls back with a smile of his own.

“We have to go shopping this weekend,” he declares, “We only have five weeks until you leave and you’re going to need an entirely new wardrobe if you don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb in San Francisco.”

He’s already planning stores to hit, constructing outfits, and factoring in sales that he knows are coming up, so he misses the way Blaine’s smile dims just a bit and some of the light leaves his amber eyes.

“I hate to say it, but I think you might actually be able to pull off the bohemian hipster look,” Kurt muses, visions of plaid, artfully ripped jeans, and beanies running through his mind, “As long as you don’t get used to it, because once you’re in New York with me I’m not going to let you get away with flip flops in November.”

“Kurt,” Blaine says.

“It might help get you over your bowtie addiction though, I mean you know I appreciate a good bowtie as much as the next guy-“

“Kurt, I...”

“But really you have such lovely collarbones. it’s a shame you keep them covered up with button-up shirts done all the way to the neckline all the time-“

 

“Kurt.”

It is this last ‘Kurt’, spoken so very softly, which pulls him from his thoughts and back to his bedroom. Back to Blaine who is now staring at him with gentle eyes that look as if they are trying to let him down easy. He can’t seem to breathe, certainly has lost all the words that were tripping off his tongue just moments ago, but he doesn’t need to say anymore because Blaine is already speaking.

“There’s one more part to it all,” Blaine says, and Kurt swallows heavily. Waits for the other shoe to drop. “I don’t want you to think this is a decision I came to lightly, because I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. The Conservatory program might actually make this easier than anything, give us the distance to not fall back into habits.”

“Habits?” Kurt asks, feeling strung out with tension for what feels like the hundredth time since Blaine stopped him in the hallway. He’s not sure he can take much more of these yo-yoing emotions. “What habits?”

“The habits of being together,” Blaine says, and his voice is laced with regret and apology, but underneath it is firm which is the worst part of all because it means whatever it is Blaine’s talking about is something he’s already decided. No matter what Kurt says now, nothing is going to change his mind.

“But we are together,” Kurt says voice high and confused; god he hopes he’s confused, hopes this isn’t what it sounds like.

“We are,” Blaine confirms; then adds, “But I think come summer time we shouldn’t be.”

Kurt’s hopes start tumbling down around him.

The world goes absolutely still.

Kurt isn’t sure how much time passes, because he’s pretty sure time has stopped. He has frozen in this moment (it is one of those moments), the second right before understanding and heartbreak, the second when he can still almost believe that he has somehow misunderstood. 

The world crashes back into motion and the moment has passed.

“You’re breaking up with me?” Kurt asks, hates that his voice is soft and shaky, hates that tears are burning at the back of his eyes. Mostly he hates how confused he still feels, because this was never supposed to happen. He hasn’t had time to prepare for this.

“No,” Blaine says, and Kurt’s heart gets a few more beats in before Blaine stops it again by adding, “I mean yes, but just for a while.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Kurt says. He sounds frantic, he knows he does, but it doesn’t make any sense and he’s starting to wonder if he’s having a heart attack what with all the stopping and starting the poor thing keeps doing. They are hereditary after all.

“I-okay let me explain,” Blaine says, hands still clinging to Kurt’s almost desperately. His thumb is stroking over the back of Kurt’s hand in what Kurt is pretty sure is supposed to be a soothing gesture, but all it feels like is a distraction.

“Explaining would be good.” The first tear has broken free and is already rolling down his cheek. He can’t pull his hands away from Blaine’s though, not even to wipe it away. Blaine reaches up to do it for him, which hurts in a way it never has before.

“It isn’t that I don’t love you,” Blaine begins, as if somehow those words will soften the blow to come, “If anything it’s because I love you, and I want us to last Kurt, I do.”

Kurt nods along, this part he does know. It’s the ‘but’ he’s sure is coming that he’s not sure he can bear.

“But,” Blaine says, “I think that next year is going to be really hard. I know we’ve talked about it, and looked at when you’ll have school breaks and how often we think one of us can get away for a quick weekend trip. But it’s going to be different, and it’s going to be hard, and more than anything Kurt I don’t want us to end up ending badly. I’m so afraid that we’re going to try and if it fails we’re going to wind up hating each other.”

“I still don’t understand,” Kurt insists, “We can talk more about New York if you’re worried, but I don’t understand what that has to do with this summer.”

Blaine takes a deep breath, squeezes Kurt’s hands once more, and continues.

“I think we should take a break this summer, while I’m in California,” he says, and ignores the way Kurt is already frantically shaking his head. “We take the summer apart, we don’t talk or hang out, and we give ourselves a chance to think – to figure out what it’s like to be apart. Then at the end of the summer, when I’m back, we’ll have almost two weeks before you have to be in New York and we can reevaluate. If we can survive the summer and still want to be together, then I think we can survive next year. But if we can’t- if we decide we were better off apart – then at least you can leave for New York and we’ll still be friends. If we plan it like this it won’t end messy at least.”

“I don’t want it to end at all,” Kurt whispers. He is vaguely aware of the fact that he is crying in earnest now, can feel the damp heat of tears on his cheeks, can taste the salt on his lips. None of that matters though, not if Blaine is talking about them ending.

“Oh Kurt, I don’t either,” Blaine says, “That’s why I want to do this, because it’s going to give us a better chance in the long run don’t you see?”

Kurt is shaking his head again, a movement that feels nearly violent but he can’t stop. “No,” he says, “What I see is you wanting to go off to San Francisco single and free.”

Blaine looks offended at that, his sympathetic gaze hardening just a little.

“That’s not fair Kurt, that isn’t what this is about. You know me, you know I wouldn’t do that.”

“Do I?” Kurt asks, hates that they’re starting to fight when all he wants to do is throw himself at Blaine and beg him to stay. “Because the Blaine I knew wouldn’t be breaking my heart.”

Blaine’s eyes fill with guilt and anguish and he tears them from Kurt’s, staring instead at the bedspread as his own eyes fill. Even though Kurt hates himself for it, wants desperately to hold on to the anger and feeling of being wronged, he can’t help but reach out for Blaine to offer comfort. Because nothing hurts like watching Blaine cry, not even having his heart broken.

“I’m sorry,” he says gathering Blaine against him. His boyfriend (god, are they even still boyfriends?) goes willingly, practically crawls into Kurt’s lap and burrows his face against Kurt’s neck. “I’m sorry,” Kurt repeats, “I didn’t mean it that way. I know you love me.”

“I do,” Blaine insists, still tucked in tight and voice muffled from where his lips are pressed against Kurt’s skin, “I love you so much, and I’m only trying to give us our best shot at forever.”

“I know,” Kurt soothes, even though he doesn’t. Even though he can’t reconcile the idea of breaking up with forever in his mind. But he does know Blaine, at least he thinks he still does, and Blaine wouldn’t hurt him needlessly. He has to believe that.

He just holds Blaine for awhile then, sitting quietly with the boy he loves more than anything curled into him, both of them silent and clutching at each other as if they are waiting for the world to end. It doesn’t end, but eventually they move again anyway.

Blaine pulls back and turns his own tear-stained face up to look at Kurt. “I don’t want us to end badly, if we have to end,” he says, voice sounding small and young and scared. Kurt hates it, but he agrees with Blaine about that much at least.

“Okay,” he says. He doesn’t know exactly what he’s saying okay to, but if Blaine wants it then it doesn’t matter because the answer will always be okay.

Blaine smiles tentatively at him then, so maybe it was the right answer.

“We were going to be apart anyway,” Blaine reasons, voice sounding firmer and more like himself again, “This will just be like a trial run in a way, and when I come back in August we can pick up right where we left off.”

“Okay,” Kurt says again, feels the word repeating like a broken record in his head. Okay okay okay.

“We’ll both be so busy we probably won’t even have time to miss each other,” Blaine is continuing.

Somewhere in Kurt’s head there is the sound of hysterical laughter, a voice shrieking that he misses Blaine between third and fourth period, there’s no way he’s going to just not notice a whole two and a half months going by. Blaine is still talking, running through all the reasons this is a smart idea, how mature they’re being and how everyone will have to support them next year if they survive this. Kurt is half listening, trying to ignore the fact that Blaine is saying ‘if’ instead of ‘when’. 

Eventually he breaks in though, can’t wait any more to ask, “So, are we broken up then?”

He needs to know this before he can go about processing and compartmentalizing, can’t get through even one more minute of discussion with this boy in front of him that he no longer knows if he is dating.

“No,” Blaine says immediately, “Not unless you want to be. I was thinking we’d wait until after graduation, there’s no reason we can’t enjoy these last few weeks together.”

Kurt thinks he and Blaine have very different interpretations of the word ‘enjoy’, but he can barely articulate one thought at a time right now, so he’s not about to start arguing semantics.

“But we are breaking up then, right?” Kurt asks instead, because in this moment he needs an exacting kind of clarification. Nothing feels clear anymore, but this at least he has to know exactly. He needs to know the expiration date on KurtandBlaine.

“Yes,” Blaine says softly, voice gentle and soothing again as if Kurt needs to be calmed. Maybe he does, he can’t really tell.

“When?”

“My plane leaves on the 13th,” Blaine says. 

He already has a ticket, Kurt realizes. His dad probably bought it for him before he even called to tell Blaine the news. Somehow that makes it all so much more real.

“So the 13th?”

Blaine nods. “I was thinking maybe we could just agree that when my plane takes off, we’ll both consider ourselves single. That way we don’t have to waste any of our remaining minutes with a break-up talk.”

Kurt wants to nitpick Blaine’s word choice again, wants to tell him he must mean they won’t waste any more of their minutes on a break-up talk, because clearly they’re using time on one now. He doesn’t though. There are so few minutes left as it is.

“Okay,” he says once more. For an irrational moment he thinks it may be all he’s ever capable of saying again, which would be ironic because it is pretty much the opposite of how he feels. “Okay.”

Blaine smiles at him then, a little shyly as if he wasn’t sure that he’d be allowed to smile again at Kurt after all of this. Kurt thinks he smiles back, but his face still feels a bit numb so he can’t be sure.

“It’s going to work out for the best,” Blaine repeats firmly. Kurt clings to those words and the sure tone they are spoken in, wills himself to believe them as strongly as Blaine seems to.

He stops himself from ‘okay-ing’ again, settles for just nodding, and it seems to be enough for Blaine.

“Well then,” Blaine says, and his eyes are twinkling once more, his mouth turned up in a mischievous little grin, “I think we have a few hours until Finn gets home. However shall we use them?”

Kurt stares at him, feeling bewildered and slightly off-balance at the abrupt topic change, but Blaine is already pushing in for a kiss. It’s as if the past 20 minutes haven’t been real, as if it is any other day when they are sneaking time to be intimate between the comings and goings of the household. Kurt feels adrift in his emotions, unable to anchor himself to any one feeling.

But it is easy to kiss Blaine back, easy to shift and slide down until they are laying on the bed. It is instinct that has him holding Blaine’s hips, turning and rolling them until he has his boyfriend beneath him. He noses against Blaine’s jaw on autopilot, hands roaming in well-practiced paths over the body below him. Blaine is already moaning and arching up against him, and Kurt responds in kind, but his heart isn’t in it. It is floating with his mind somewhere outside where the world is still moving as if nothing has changed. He is untethered, not yet able to process his own terrifying aloneness in this new world.

Blaine may be right against his skin, but he has never felt further away.

*****

Three weeks later, on June 13th, Kurt Hummel is sitting in the Lima Bean, an untouched mocha sitting on the little round table in front of him as he stares at the clock on the wall behind the counter.

Graduation had been a week ago. There were parties and celebrations, tears and laughter, promises to stay in touch and meaningful goodbyes. He and Blaine spent the past seven days nearly attached at the hip, never far from each other, as if by merely being close they could slow time and the coming of the inevitable. 

They’d explained their decision to everyone at one of the graduation parties (it had been called ‘their’ decision in every discussion since that first one. Kurt isn’t sure how he ended up with part ownership in something he never wanted in the first place). 

Burt had looked at Kurt searchingly, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing, and oh Kurt wanted to scream ‘I don’t understand it either! Please, someone, explain to me why this is happening’. He hadn’t though, had just plastered a smile on his face to match Blaine’s, and his father had muttered an acknowledgement and tried to be supportive.

Their friends had taken the news with a mixture of shock, support and boredom (the last was from Santana, but Kurt could never read her emotions too well so maybe she cared more than she let on). 

Rachel had told them they were ‘being very mature about the whole thing. You know not everyone can be as committed as Finn and I are, and it’s good that you’re taking some time to reevaluate your choices as we all step into the future as adults and-‘ (this is where Kurt cut her off).

Puck nearly cried, which was surprising but also weirdly made Kurt feel better about wanting to cry himself. When Puck pulled him into a bone-crushing hug and practically sobbed ‘I thought you guys were forever man’ into his shoulder Kurt had to bite his lip to keep from sobbing back ‘Me too.’ 

Brittany had been confused, and the rest of them had been eerily silent – especially given that they were rarely silent in large numbers – and just looked between the two of them as if unsure how they were expected to respond.

It had all been good enough for Blaine though, who’d smiled at them and then at Kurt, as if everything was going to plan. Kurt really wished he had an outline of that plan so that he could look ahead and find out when this was supposed to stop hurting so much.

Last night, their final night together, had been filled with kisses and touches, whispered words and promises that no longer felt as reassuring as they once did. They’d moved together with gentle thrusts and quiet moans, and when Kurt came he pressed his face into the pillow below him and let it soak up his tears. 

He’d been allowed to stay the night, despite Mr. Anderson’s disapproving looks, and he’d spent every minute until dawn just watching Blaine sleep beside him, trying to soak up every tiny detail and lock it away in his mind.

Blaine’s flight was an early one so they’d been up not long after sunrise, dressing hurriedly and gathering all the last minute odds and ends Blaine would need for the next ten weeks. Kurt wasn’t making the drive to the airport with them, so they’d ended up saying their goodbyes on the Anderson’s front porch, trading kisses and tears while Mr. Anderson honked impatiently from the driveway.

“Ten weeks and I’ll be back,” Blaine had said, “I’ll come back to you.”

Kurt had smiled at the promise, even as his heart ached, because Blaine had been looking at him with big, sincere eyes and anyway the time for argument was long since passed.

“Okay,” Kurt said, and it reminded him of that day in his bedroom when it was the only response he could give to his world shattering.

“I love you,” Blaine had whispered against his lips, kissed him softly one last time.

“I love you too,” Kurt replied, and then Blaine was pulling away.

He’d looked back over his shoulder at Kurt as he climbed into the front passenger seat, waved through the window with suspiciously bright eyes as they backed out and drove away. Kurt waved back and swallowed the broken noise trying to claw its way out of him. His throat felt raw with unshed tears but he just kept waving and smiling, waited until the car had disappeared. He’d moved to his own car as if in a trance, gotten in and fastened his seatbelt, turned the ignition. Pulled around the corner and parked in front of a random house. Only then had he let everything go, crying and screaming until he was hollowed out and empty.

He’d driven to the Lima Bean then, and that is where he now sits. His clothes still smell like Blaine, his lips still taste like Blaine, everything is still Blaine Blaine Blaine and there is nothing he can do about it. So he just sits, staring at the clock as the minutes tick by, ignoring the coffee in front of him. Waiting.

It is 10:00.

It is 10:15.

It is 10:30.

It is 10:33.

The minute hand moves one more tick, it is 10:34 am on a Wednesday morning in June, and Blaine’s plane has just taken off from Columbus International. 

Kurt Hummel is now officially single.

He lets out the breath he’s been holding, releasing it steady and deliberate so as not to break the fragile state of not-feeling he has created for himself. He takes one small, measured sip of his now-cold mocha. Places it back on the table in slow, exacting motions. Looks up at the clock. One more tick. He has survived the first minute.

It is strange how tiny packages of time, mere moments, can hold within them the pause before enormous change. 

He takes one more sip from his cup, sets it down, breathes in and out.

Another minute passes. This is the last moment before his world will begin to change.

The clock ticks over one more time and two things happen simultaneously. Kurt looks up to see Sebastian Smythe walk through the coffee shop doors, and his phone begins to ring.

 

Link to Chapter 1

*****

Additional Author's Notes:

Bonus Song: Maybe by Ingrid Michaelson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKU3UuJhIxU

This has always been a Klaine song to me, ever since we found out Blaine’s junior status. In Klaine fic and Klaine shipping I find it sadly hopeful. I think it still fits the moment here, even if those feelings will obviously change as Kurtbastian comes into play ;)

Next chapter we get into the actual prompt and story properly, more soon :)


	2. Chapter 1

_Of all the times for Sebastian to come lurk at the Lima Bean_ , Kurt thinks, _it had to be today_.

He doesn’t know if Sebastian knows about Blaine breaking up with him.  If he does he’s going to be insufferable, and if he doesn’t, well. Kurt’s not going to be the one to tell him.  He’ll probably still be insufferable though. 

The best-case scenario here is if Sebastian doesn’t even notice him, just orders his coffee and leaves. Kurt would leave himself except that to get to the door he’d basically have to walk right by Sebastian. Instead he wills himself to be a little more still, tries to think ‘invisible’ thoughts.

They aren’t even enemies any more, not exactly, not since Karofsky, but they aren’t friends either.  It’s more that they’ve reached a truce, agreeing to just dislike each other from afar and trading casual insults when they can’t get ‘afar’ enough.  It has worked out pretty well, as far as Kurt is concerned, but that doesn’t mean he wants to have to look at the guy’s face more than necessary.  Especially not today of all days.  Today even Sebastian reminds him of Blaine.

Kurt knows Blaine and Sebastian restarted their tentative friendship back in February, mostly consisting of some phone calls and texting, a few late night Skype sessions, nothing heavy.  Kurt knows that much for sure because after all the fallout around Sebastian last fall, this time around Kurt and Blaine had made sure they communicated (if anything over-communicated) about _exactly_ what was going on between Blaine and Sebastian.

He hasn’t heard anything about the other boy from Blaine in the last few weeks though, and he doesn’t quite know what that means, or if it means anything at all.  There’s every chance that with getting ready to go to California and spending time with Kurt, Blaine’s just not had time for his casual friendship with Sebastian.  But then again, there’s an equal possibility that with the break-up looming near, Blaine hadn’t wanted to say anything that would upset Kurt and so had just stopped talking _about_ Sebastian even if he didn’t stop talking _to_ Sebastian. 

So Kurt just isn’t sure, and he hates that.  Hates that, whether Sebastian knows it or not, he now has power over Kurt simply because Kurt is completely in the dark about what the other boy knows. Sebastian could see him any second and Kurt can’t even prepare himself for a possible attack because he doesn’t know the weapons Sebastian’s got in his arsenal.

There is not much Kurt hates more than feeling ill-prepared, and yet the last few weeks have been a barrage of surprises and emotional sneak attacks, leaving him feeling weak, his defenses farther down than they’ve been in quite some time.  It feels like all he does these days is pick out a path over uneven, unfamiliar ground and he wants some control for once. 

He doesn’t have any at the moment though, so settles for thinking ‘invisible’ even harder.

All of this is, of course, running through his mind in a matter of seconds, because by the time he’s done thinking it his phone is still ringing and Sebastian has just barely stepped into the queue at the counter.  He pushes away any thoughts of the former Warbler (Sebastian had graduated a week ago too, that much he remembered) and looks down at the call notification flashing up at him from his iPhone.

It’s a New York City area code (he’s had those three numbers memorized since he was nine years old and first learned where ‘Broadway’ was) but the number itself is –unsurprisingly – unfamiliar.  It isn’t like he gets a lot of calls from the city after all.

Still, anything is better than sitting here forlornly, looking pathetic and alone, and waiting to see if Sebastian is going to notice him.  Plus New York still feels like hope and escape and promise, three things of which he is in desperate need.  So he answers on the fourth ring, catching it just before it drops to his voicemail.

“Hello?” He says tentatively, wondering if perhaps he should have answered more authoritatively, said something like ‘This is Kurt Hummel speaking’.  He isn’t sure how people answer their phones in New York.

“I’m calling for a Kurt Hummel?” the voice on the other end asks.  It’s a woman, she sounds like she’s probably about Carole’s age and has the tone of someone who is overworked and underpaid. 

“That’s me,” he says quickly, “I mean, um, speaking.”

“Mr. Hummel, this is Nancy from the Financial Aid department of the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts.”

NYADA.  He doesn’t know why they’re calling but even just hearing the name, especially all strung out with the actual title instead of the silly, nasal sounding abbreviation, makes his heart pick up speed.  It is, quite literally, like getting a call from your future.

“Oh, hello,” Kurt says, and immediately panics.

Should he say something else? He’s already been accepted to the program, but what if this is a test call and he’s supposed to come up with something witty or complimentary or they’ll revoke his admission?  It’s a silly fear, he _knows_ it’s a silly fear.  But Blaine breaking up with him was a silly fear not so long ago too, and look how that turned out.

In any case he’s wasted any time he might have had to add more with his worrying, and it doesn’t seem to matter to the person on the other line anyway ( _Nancy,_ he reminds himself, _repeating people’s names back to them in conversation helps to foster a sense of camaraderie._ This voice in his mind sounds suspiciously like Rachel). 

So _Nancy_ then is already speaking. “Mr. Hummel, I’m calling because there seems to be a problem with your application for aid.”

Kurt feels the blood drain from his face, tries to quell the re-rising panic at the word ‘problem’.  Maybe it’s nothing, something minor like he spelled his name wrong and they need to confirm it is Hummel instead of Hudmel.

It wouldn’t be quite as farfetched as it sounds. Finn had been so excited about the blurring of the last names during junior year, saying it made them like ‘real brothers’.  He’d insisted that Kurt write ‘Hudmel’ on papers and tests, and Finn had even signed it himself on his driver’s license before Carole could stop him which led to reprinting costs and a lot of eye rolling from Kurt. Nevertheless, it is a habit Kurt still falls into from time to time, adding a ‘d’ where an ‘m’ should be, so it wouldn’t surprise him if he accidentally put it on his NYADA financial aid application.

(This, of course, is a lie he tells himself in the tiny little second his brain has to panic before he has to answer Nancy on the other line.  It would, in truth, surprise him greatly if he had made the error in his name, mostly because he has been _meticulous_ about every single step of the NYADA process. He wouldn’t have risked something so huge over a mix up with his name.)

“A problem?” he squeaks out when he finds his voice again, “What kind of problem?”

“Well it seems you listed your father’s occupation as part owner and operator of an auto shop, ah….’Hummel’s Tire and Lube’,” Nancy says, sounding a very specific combination of both harried and bored that only office workers in a college financial aid office ever manage.

“That’s correct,” Kurt confirms.

“It seems though, Mr. Hummel, that you neglected to mention that your father was also employed as a congressman,” Nancy continues, sounding just a little accusatory in a way that makes Kurt’s hackles rise.  He isn’t sure what she’s implying, but no matter how broken down he’s felt these past few weeks he isn’t going to let her make any sort of insinuations about his father.

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure how that’s a problem,” Kurt snips, “Or are the sons of elected officials not allowed to apply?”

Nancy sighs like she deals with snippy teenagers all day (maybe she does, Kurt doesn’t know, but the sigh still bothers him.)

“No Mr. Hummel, but we _do_ require students applying for aid to list all parental occupations when they fill out the application,” she says in a harder tone, “Which you _did not_ do.”

“I didn’t include it because he _wasn’t_ a congressman at the time that I applied.  He only recently won the election and hasn’t even started his official duties yet.”

“Be that as it may,” Nancy continues, tone sharpening further to match Kurt’s, “The fact of the matter is you didn’t update your application when he was elected, and it changes your estimated household income for the 2012-2013 school year.”

“Okay?” Kurt questions, “I’m still not quite sure what you need from me here Nancy.”

(He’s used her name in conversation, but he’s pretty sure there’s no ‘spirit of camaraderie’ building between them.)

“I don’t need anything from you Mr. Hummel,” Nancy says coolly, “This is simply a courtesy call to inform you that your application for additional aid has been denied.”

Kurt doesn’t feel like sniping anymore.  Kurt doesn’t feel anything in fact, can’t even quite process the words except for one. _Denied_.

“What-“ he chokes on his own words, has to take a deep breath in before he can continue, “I don’t know what that means.”

Nancy lets out another little sigh, and Kurt is so afraid of what is coming next.

“Am I kicked out?” he asks, knows his voice is high and scared, “Am I not- did they kick me out?”

Nancy must be able to sense his sudden deflation and fear because she softens her own voice to a more compassionate tone. It makes Kurt feel even worse, because it reminds him of the way everyone spoke to him when his mother died.  The way everyone spoke to him when he had to leave McKinley in fear of his life.  The way everyone has been speaking to him for the past week ever since he and Blaine broke the news of their impending separation.  It is a tone that is meant to convey sympathy, because something so unexpectedly awful happens that no one knows quite how to talk to you anymore.

 _If they kicked you out then Blaine broke up with you for nothing_ his mind supplies unhelpfully, _isn’t that funny?_

“Honey no,” Nancy is saying on the other end of the line and Kurt feels like he can breathe again, at least a little. “They haven’t kicked you out, it just means that you’re going to have to find an alternate way to pay part of your first semester’s tuition.  By spring term you can sort everything out and reapply, but you’re going to have to take care of most of fall term yourself.”

 _Okay_ , Kurt thinks, makes himself take another breath because he still feels a little lightheaded. _That’s not so bad, that’s fixable_.

“How much?” he asks. 

“Give me a sec,” Nancy says, “Let me pull up that part of your file.”

Kurt waits, and while he waits he thinks. He knows that part of his cost of tuition and living is being provided by various scholarships, and he and his dad have talked about how to cover extraneous expenses like books and a coffee habit.  Things are going to be tight, Carole and his dad are shouldering most of the load of Finn’s schooling, but they’d all agreed it was important to make sure both boys could go to college. Kurt hadn’t minded having his fashion budget for next year cut so that Finn could go to school in New Jersey. 

They’ve all looked at the finances together and it’s a stretch but doable.  He isn’t sure where they’re going to find any extra though, not without a strain he isn’t willing to put on his family (especially after all the money they poured into Dalton for him without hesitation).  But he can probably pick up a few hours of work somewhere, most summer jobs have been filled already but he’s sure he can earn a couple hundred to make up the difference before the summer is over.

“Here we go,” Nancy says, and Kurt’s stomach tightens in anticipation, “It looks like you’ll need nine-“ ( _oh god_ Kurt thinks, he’d hoped it would be closer to four or five hundred, nine is going to be more of a stretch) “thousand, two hundred eighty-five dollars and sixty three cents,” Nancy finishes.

Kurt is pretty sure he’s in a nightmare, because there is no way he can come up with $9,285.63 any time soon, and he’s also pretty sure Sebastian has not only spotted him but is heading his way.  It must be a nightmare, it _must_.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt stammers, willing his face to compose itself on the off chance he isn’t about to wake up, “Can you repeat that?”

“Sure honey,” Nancy says and rattles off the numbers again.  It hasn’t changed.

“I can’t…” Kurt starts, doesn’t even know what to say.  Will pleading help? “How am I supposed to find that much money?”

“Oh you’ve still got some time,” Nancy says on the other end, voice sounding too chipper for someone who just delivered a deathblow.  “You don’t have to pay until a week before your classes start.  You’ve got ‘til the 10th of September.”

Kurt wants to laugh and cry.  She’s said it like she’s just granted him a reprieve, but it _isn’t_ because that is less than three months away and there is no way he’s going to have the money in time.

He hates to ask it, but he has to know.

“And if I, ah, if I can’t pay?”

“Mr. Hummel, if you think it’s going to be an issue for you, I can transfer you to the Admissions Department and they can talk to you about your options for deferment. It’s not easy to get one granted, but if you can’t afford to enroll-“

“No!” Kurt cuts her off, “No, it won’t be a problem I was just surprised is all.”

He can’t let her know that he’s dying inside, can’t tell her that there is no way he’s going to have the funds, because he is desperately afraid she’s going to make some kind of mark in his file and he’s going to lose his place to someone who can afford it.  And even if it is a fruitless hope, even if there’s no way he’s going to end up with the money in time, he can’t handle having his dream end today of all days.

“Mr. Hummel, if you’re unsure,” Nancy hedges, and Kurt feels flushed with shame and guilt and fear.

Of course that is the moment Sebastian-freaking-Smythe decides to slide into the chair across from him, smirking and sipping at a coffee that is probably two-thirds smuggled in hooch.

“Nope, I’m sure,” Kurt says, imbuing his voice with as much confidence and authority as he can muster.  He needs this conversation to be over. Now.

“Thank you so much for all your help Nancy,” he says, using her name again as if they are old friends, “I appreciate it and will take care of that as soon as possible.”

“Alright Mr. Hummel,” Nancy says, back to sounding bored and harassed now that the issue is – from her end at least – under control, “We’ll look for payment before the 10th.”

“Will do,” Kurt says, still faking a smile. 

They hang up, and Kurt lowers the phone quickly so that Sebastian won’t be able to see that his hands are shaking.

“Problems princess?” Sebastian sneers at him in that mocking tone that hints at laughter, which inevitably would be at Kurt’s expense.

“Nope,” Kurt says firmly, making it clear that avenue of conversation is no longer open.  If he had his way _no_ avenue of conversation would be open between the two of them, but that’s too much to hope for.

Sebastian arches an eyebrow, like he’s not sure if he believes Kurt, but thankfully lets it drop.

“Where’s the littlest gay?” he asks instead, eyes scanning the Lima Bean patrons as if he expects Blaine to just pop up out of nowhere. “I’d ask if he ditched you for better prospects, but considering he hasn’t called me begging for another chance yet I’m guessing it’s unlikely.”

 _So he doesn’t even know Blaine left_ , Kurt thinks, _that’s_ … _interesting_.  Obviously the friendship between them wasn’t as close as Kurt had always assumed if Blaine had failed to mention his plans for the next two and a half months. 

Well he isn’t about to tell Sebastian that Blaine’s gone for the summer, or that they’ve broken up, that’s for sure.  He also isn’t going to let Sebastian see how much the question hurt, and hit a little too close to home as far as Kurt’s worries about Blaine in the gay mecca that is San Francisco go.  He blows the question off instead, decides to cut right to the heart of it because he’s in no mood for banter and games, not today.

“What do you want Sebastian?” he asks, glaring across the table at where the other boy is practically sprawled across his seat, legs spread wide and leaning back as if there’s nowhere else he’d rather be and he’s got no plans to leave anytime soon.

“Who says I’m not just here for your enchanting company?” Sebastian says, looking at Kurt in challenge and barely veiled disdain.

“What. Do. You. Want.”  Kurt repeats, enunciating every word.  He can feel his carefully constructed façade beginning to crack, the weight of the day and the phone call weighing heavy.  He needs this conversation to be over, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to be the one to run away.

“Fine Casper, if you insist on getting right to business,” Sebastian sighs, as if Kurt’s the one being rude and unreasonable.  As if Sebastian’s entire _existence_ isn’t rude and unreasonable. “There’s only so much of your face I can take before I feel the urge to throw myself off a cliff just to get away from the lingering smell of baby powder and failure anyway.”

Sebastian’s been using variations on the ‘failure’ line on him in the few times they’ve run into each other since the New Directions placed third at Nationals back in April.  Kurt doesn’t know how the idiot manages to consistently forget that his team not only didn’t qualify, but was in fact beaten by McKinley.  Usually he’d remind him of that fact, but today he wants to just get whatever this is over with.

“So?” Kurt prompts, “Are you going to spit it out or has the syphilis finally reached your brain and destroyed your higher functions?”

Sebastian looks for a minute as if he might actually smile at that but shifts it to a sneer at the last second.

“Oh Kurt, you only wish you had a chance to see my ‘higher functions’ in action. Unfortunately for you, I’m _gay_ , which means I don’t sleep with girls so you’re out of luck.”

And that’s about as far as Kurt’s patience lasts.  Any other day he’d be up for a few more rounds before Sebastian started to grate too much to be worth the sparring match.  Today though, today he’s just too tired.

“I’ll see you Sebastian,” he says, pushing his chair back and starting to stand.  He prepares himself for the volley of insults about the retreat, but they don’t come. Instead he is surprised when Sebastian shoots out a hand and grabs his arm, holding him in his seat.

Not only has Sebastian passed up an easy win and the chance to insult Kurt’s back as he walks away, but he’s _touching_ Kurt. Kurt looks at the hand on his arm in shock, too thrown to even think about prying the fingers off, but Sebastian is already pulling his hand away quickly now that Kurt is sitting once more.  Still, Kurt can feel the imprint of fingers on his skin.  He realizes that he can’t recall if he and Sebastian have ever touched before, besides that initial handshake so many months ago.

He looks up, still reeling with the incredulity he feels at the action, to find Sebastian looking just as shocked as he is.  Clearly he is as unnerved about the unexpected contact as Kurt is, but even as he registers this he can see Sebastian already shaking it off.  In no time at all he is sneering at Kurt like every other time they’ve ever met.

“I don’t-“ Kurt starts, stops.  He doesn’t know what he wants to ask, and he’s not the one who should have to say something anyway. Sebastian’s the one who stopped him.

But Sebastian is just glaring at him, as if Kurt is offending him personally just by existing, and Kurt is sick of it. His disdain for Sebastian helps him find his voice again though.

“Either tell me what the hell you want or let me leave Smythe, I have better places to be,” he spits out, voice filled with enough ice and venom to make a normal person cringe, which of course means Sebastian just smiles wider.

“Somehow I doubt that _Hummel_ ,” Sebastian says and Kurt ruthlessly suppresses the flinch that wants to come at the truth of it. “But if you insist.  You’re going to do me a favor.”

Kurt arches an eyebrow at the unexpected turn the conversation seems to have taken, and sneers back. “Funny, that didn’t sound like you asking.”

Sebastian groans and rolls his eyes, “ _Fine_.  Kurt, I need you to do something for me. Please.” He spits out the please like he wants to puke for saying it. Kurt thinks he’s never met anyone as completely self-centered as Sebastian (and he had Will Schuester for a teacher so that’s saying something.)

“No,” he says, and makes another grab for his bag. As far as he’s concerned this conversation, as odd as it is, is over.

“What?” Sebastian looks honestly surprised, “You can’t say no, you haven’t even heard what the favor is yet!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Kurt says shrugging, “The answer’s still gonna be no.”

It’s true, as far as he’s concerned too. He doesn’t care what Sebastian wants, be it anything from borrowing bus fare to a kidney.  Because he doesn’t care about Sebastian, and he’s full up on assholes in his life as it is.

“Just hear me out,” Sebastian pleads, “please Kurt.”

It’s the ‘please Kurt’ that gets him, and he sits back down again even though he hates himself for doing it.  Something about the way Sebastian says it sounds sincere.  For the first time in their twisted history his name on Sebastian’s lips hadn’t sounded like an insult.

“Fine,” Kurt concedes, “Five minutes, and you’re buying me more coffee first.”

Sebastian opens his mouth and Kurt is sure he’s about to argue, but he snaps his jaw shut again instead and just gives Kurt a terse nod before walking back over to the counter to place the order.  It won’t be until later that night, when Kurt is laying in bed and wondering just what the hell he had gotten himself into, that he’ll realize Sebastian knew his coffee order.

When Sebastian returns he slides the mocha across the table to Kurt and makes an exaggerated ‘Your Highness’ motion that looks like a half bow. Kurt takes a tentative sip, and then another when it doesn’t seem as though Sebastian has added anything untoward to it.  Unlike his last drink, barely touched and cold, this one is the perfect temperature and warmth blooms in his stomach when it hits.  It’s comforting, and he hates that the comfort came from Sebastian even in a roundabout way, but figures as long as Sebastian doesn’t know about it there’s no harm done.

“So will you listen to me now?” Sebastian asks after letting Kurt sip at his drink for a few quiet seconds.  He’s speaking through gritted teeth, like it’s taking effort to sit and be polite.  Kurt is suddenly having a lot more fun.

“I suppose,” Kurt says, sighing as if it is a great inconvenience but he’ll allow it.  He glances at the clock above the counter, smirks and adds, “You better hurry though, your five minutes is nearly up.”

“What?” Sebastian nearly shouts, “That’s not fucking fair, I had to get you coffee and-” he trails off when he sees Kurt shaking with silent laughter across from him at his outburst. “Oh very fucking funny. Ha-freaking-ha.”

“I thought so,” Kurt says, shrugging one shoulder as if it doesn’t matter either way. Whatever Sebastian wants he obviously wants badly if he’s getting this worked up. This conversation might just end up being the best part of his day, especially if the face Sebastian makes when Kurt inevitably says ‘no’ again is anything like the one he’s making now.

“Are you going to listen or not?” Sebastian finally asks, and he sounds vaguely defeated which Kurt thinks is simply _delightful_.

“Sure,” Kurt says, “Why not.  This ought to be amusing.”

“You have no idea,” Sebastian mutters, so quiet Kurt’s not sure if he was meant to hear.  He scrubs a hand over his face, runs it through his hair and huffs loudly.

“Okay, just- I know this is going to sound really fucked up but just let me…just listen okay?”

Kurt is really curious now, so he nods and keeps quiet.

“I need you to be my boyfriend,” Sebastian says plainly, looking like he wants to stab himself in the face rather than say it.

Kurt stares at him for a full ten seconds and then bursts into laughter.  He is laughing so hard he can’t breathe; his sides hurt, his eyes are watering and he’s pretty sure he’s attracting the attention of every other patron in the shop but he can’t stop. Because that is just about the funniest thing he’s ever heard.

“Oh my _god_ ,” he gasps out when his laughter has died down to softer giggles, “I am so glad I stuck around to hear that.  Thank you Sebastian, I needed to laugh today. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he pushes back from the table for the third time but Sebastian stops him again with a hand over his own. It is a softer touch than before and that unnerves Kurt more than anything.

He looks up, terrified he’s going to see some kind of earnest emotion on Sebastian’s face.  When he finds Sebastian looking instead like he swallowed a handful of tacks he relaxes. He’s not sure he could handle finding out Sebastian had some kind of ridiculous unrequited crush on him.

“I know,” Sebastian groans, dropping Kurt’s hand and letting his head thunk against where his arms are crossed on the table, “I want to kill myself just for saying it, but I mean it Kurt. I need you to be my boyfriend.”

“ _Why_ Sebastian?” Kurt asks incredulously, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, this entire conversation is compelling in a train wreck kind of way, but _why_?”

“Because I told my mother we were dating,” Sebastian responds forlornly, voice muffled from where his face is still pressed into the sleeve of his (admittedly less tacky than usual) shirt.

“This is like a bad game of twenty questions where every question is the same,” Kurt bemoans, “Do I even have to ask? _Why_ would you do that?”

Sebastian sits up finally, flopping back in his seat like all the fight has left him.  He looks so upset by the whole thing that Kurt can’t even take too much joy in the other boy’s discomfort.  He’s also pretty busy being tremendously confused.

“It was a few months ago,” Sebastian says, not meeting Kurt’s eye as he speaks and instead concentrating on the cup of coffee in front of him, twirling it from palm to palm as he elaborates.  “She’d walked in on my latest hookup and, apparently, it was one time too many for her.”

“Your mother has walked in on you and your conquests more than once?” Kurt says, staring at Sebastian, “Jesus Sebastian, you’re even sluttier than I gave you credit for.”

Sebastian glares at him but ignores the jibe. 

“After I was decent she sat me down and told me that I had to stop the sleeping around or they were going to cut me off. She said they’re ‘worried’ about me, even though I told her I’m not stupid enough to fuck a random without protection,” Sebastian adds and Kurt just goggles at him. 

Does he really talk to his mom that way?  Kurt tries to picture what would happen if he told his dad he was ‘fucking randoms’, and the color he thinks his dad’s face would turn is not pretty.  It’d probably give him another heart attack.  He studies Sebastian across the table, trying to get a real read on him for the first time in a while. Who is this guy that thinks this is appropriate behavior? What happened to him to make him so callous about things which still feel near-sacred to Kurt?

“Apparently,” Sebastian continues, oblivious to Kurt’s scrutiny, “They aren’t just worried about me forgetting the rubbers.  She said that sleeping around was ‘emotionally damaging’ me and that a real relationship would be good for me. She told me I could either date someone seriously or not leave the house at all until I left for college, and if I chose to go out anyway they’d clear out my bank account and take back the tuition for school.”

Kurt winces in sympathy.  Sebastian may be awful, but after that last phone call he knows all too well the panic of losing tuition money.  Then he remembers who he’s talking to and viciously stamps any trace of good will out.

“I’m not really seeing what this has to do with me,” Kurt admits, because Sebastian is now looking at him as if waiting for Kurt to suddenly get it.

“I told her a couple weeks later that I was dating you,” Sebastian tells him, as if that ought to answer every question Kurt has left.

“Again, I say why?”

“Well I had to be dating someone!” Sebastian says as if it’s obvious, “I wasn’t about to sit around my house for the rest of the school year and then all summer with nothing to do.”

“But why _me_?” Kurt asks, and at this point he’s honestly curious.  He and Sebastian hate each other, so unless this all leads up to a cruel trick being played on him Kurt’s not really sure what would possess Sebastian to use his name.

“My dad pretty much thinks your dad is the best thing that ever happened to Ohio,” Sebastian says,  “so being associated with the Hummel name earned me a lot of leeway. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Kurt is truly speechless. As if this whole situation wasn’t bizarre enough, he now has to process that somehow _his_ name has power in the Smythe household.  He can’t help the little spike of pride he feels for his dad at that.  It’s nice to know other people think Burt Hummel is going to be just as good for Ohio as he does.

“So what’s changed?” Kurt asks, when he comes back to the present moment, “Obviously you’ve been using me as a cover for a while without my knowledge, so why do I need to know about it now?”

“Because now my mom wants to meet you,” Sebastian says, wincing.  “She thinks we’ve been dating for nearly a month and she’s nagging me to bring you home for dinner.  I think they’re a little afraid I’ve brainwashed you into dating me or something.”

Kurt can’t help the laugh that spills out at that. It would be a fair worry, because that’s about the only way he can picture himself dating Sebastian.

“You laugh,” Sebastian says, smiling grimly, “But I’m the one who has to put up with my dad constantly staring at me and shaking his head like he can’t believe I somehow managed to talk the Great Burt Hummel’s kid into giving me the time of day let alone going out with me. It’s insulting.”

“It’s _true_ ,” Kurt says, laughing fully now, “I don’t think I’d believe it even if I actually _was_ dating you.”

“You’d be lucky to date me,” Sebastian says hotly, “I can have any guy I want with a click of my fingers, you should be honored to be my fake boyfriend.”

“Any guy except for Blaine,” Kurt says before he can think, and instantly feels the lance of pain at saying the name aloud. “Or me,” he adds, “In fact I’m rather disappointed in my pretend self for fake dating you so far.”

Sebastian glares at him.  Blaine is obviously still a sore point.  Well, Kurt can relate.

“As fantastically bizarre and entertaining as this whole conversation has been,” Kurt drawls, “I’m still not sure why on earth you think I’m going to help you out by meeting your mother.”

“Not just my mother, and not just meeting,” Sebastian says, looking a little sheepish and a lot pained at the confession.

Kurt already knows there’s no way he’s doing this, but his curiosity wants to be satisfied.

“Why don’t you tell me exactly what it is you’re asking for here Sebastian,” he says plainly.

Sebastian sighs again, as if he’s the one being put upon, before answering.

“There’s a family dinner on Friday, because my sister’s coming back into town.  It’ll be her and her fiancé, my dad and mom, and my older brother.  They want me to bring you to meet everyone.”

It’s news to Kurt that Sebastian has siblings, but then again he’d always just assumed that Sebastian was actually hellspawn and as such didn’t have a family.

“So dinner with the family?”

“There’s more,” Sebastian says with a wince. “Kind of a lot more.”

“Oh god, alright out with it,” Kurt groans (though he is secretly quite thrilled at Sebastian’s discomfort. It really is lifting his spirits. Who would have thought Sebastian Smythe would be the one to improve his day?)

“Livvie, that’s my sister, is back in town to get ready for her wedding,” Sebastian tells him.  “She and Brian are getting married in Pennsylvania at the end of August in Brian’s hometown, but my parents insisted they come stay with us for the summer so that my mom can help with the last minute details.  It’s all just really an excuse for them to show off the ‘good kid’ who’s actually doing something with her life and settling down, but whatever.  The point is they’ve got all these parties and family events planned for the whole fucking summer and I’m going to be expected to bring my ‘boyfriend’ to all of them. So I’d need you around for awhile.”

“How long are we talking here?” Kurt asks.  Not that he’s saying yes in any case, but he’s _certainly_ not going to agree to anything that will take him past the 10-week mark of Blaine’s return.

“Until the wedding,” Sebastian says, “They’re getting married on the 25th of August. After that we can break up, I’ll only have a few weeks until I leave for school anyway so even if they put me on lockdown I’ll survive.”

 _Blaine’s not due back until the 28 th_, Kurt muses and then chastises himself for thinking about it as if he’s actually going to help Sebastian out.

“So a few dinner parties, a wedding shower or something and the main event?” Kurt asks. He might as well hear all the details before he shoots Sebastian down.

Sebastian shrugs. “Pretty much,” he mumbles, and his entire body language is screaming ‘suspicious’ which means it’s probably a lot more than that.

“Look Sebastian, I’m not going to agree to anything without all the cards on the table so you might as well just be honest,” he sighs.  He’s still not quite sure why he’s prolonging the conversation, except perhaps because the rest of his day consists of sitting in his room and feeling crushingly alone.  Apparently he’s decided that Sebastian’s company is a viable alternative to that.

“Fine,” Sebastian says, and this time he meets Kurt’s eye, “It would probably be a day a week, maybe more when the wedding gets closer.  It’s not like I have a schedule or something, I know the big events but my parents are also fans of the impromptu dinner party so you never know.”

“And I would be expected to what? Show up, behave politely and leave?  Or are we going to have to put on a better act than that?” It’s really disturbingly weird hearing himself say the word ‘we’ when talking about himself and Sebastian.

“Some hand holding, a kiss here or there, that’d probably do it,” Sebastian shrugs and Kurt’s not sure whether he wants to laugh or vomit.

‘There is no way I’m kissing you,” Kurt says, and Sebastian actually looks offended.

“Like I’d want to be kissing you if I had a choice!” Sebastian spits back, “We’re talking about my freedom and future here Kurt, it isn’t like I’m looking forward to it.”

“Well that’s good, because I’m not sure I could handle you telling me you actually _wanted_ to kiss me. I kind of want to bleach my lips preemptively as is.”

Sebastian groans in frustration again, running fingers through his hair distractedly and leaving the normally coiffed look standing up on its ends and looking a bit wild.  Kurt resists the automatic urge to fix it for him.

“So you’re asking for a date a week, with the possibility of more, plus hand holding and a few closed mouth kisses here and there?” Kurt doesn’t even bother asking if the kisses Sebastian mentioned were supposed to be closed-mouth because the alternative is not even something he wants invading his nightmares.

“Yeah, and you know, generally covering for me when I go out.”

 _Ah, that’s what this is really about then_ , Kurt thinks.  Yeah, it’s about the money too because that’s huge, but another part of it is that Sebastian doesn’t want to stop getting laid all summer by being stuck at home.  And it isn’t like Kurt was even considering it anyway, but there is _definitely_ no way he’s wasting his summer covering for Sebastian’s illicit fucking. 

“Hmm,” Kurt says, taps his finger against his chin in a mockery of consideration, “Well I have to say I don’t envy your position. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass Sebastian.  I just don’t see myself wasting the next few months fielding calls from your mother while you stick your dick in anything that let’s you close enough.”

“Kurt, you have to,” Sebastian says and that puts Kurt’s hackles right back up. He’s not going to start taking orders from Sebastian.

“I don’t _have to_ anything,” he hisses, “As hard as it may be for you to understand I actually have a life of my own, and couldn’t care less about your parental issues.”

Sebastian’s face hardens and Kurt thinks for sure the conversation is over. He’s not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way Sebastian must have opened up a bit because Kurt can see him closing down now. But Sebastian isn’t done, though his voice is cold and formal again when he speaks.

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he says, and Kurt laughs harshly.

“I’m not a prostitute Sebastian.”

Sebastian sneers at him, “That’s obvious Kurt, because prostitutes have to actually unclench long enough to let someone fuck them.”

“Whatever, I’m done here.” Kurt rolls his eyes and drains the last of his coffee.  When Sebastian reaches out this time he flinches away in time to avoid another touch.

“Look just name your fucking price Kurt, I’m begging you here,” Sebastian pleads. He’s let go of a little of the coldness and damn Kurt and his soft heart because he can’t help but hesitate.

“Anything, seriously name it and it’s yours,” Sebastian presses, sensing he’s got a foothold.

Kurt considers him, taking in the air of desperation, and his hand clenches tightly around the phone he’s holding.  He knows desperation too.

There’s no way Sebastian is going to give him that much money though, no way that an 18 year old kid just has ten grand lying around – not even one as obscenely rich as Kurt knows Sebastian’s family is.  So he might as well ask, because when Sebastian says no way it’ll just be one more reason to walk away.

“$10,000,” Kurt says, “I’ll do it for that.”

He knows he’s padding the cost of what he actually needs, but there’s no way he’d walk away from a summer of fake-dating Sebastian with just breaking even.  He waits for the scoff, waits for Sebastian to tell him to get real or forget the whole thing.  But Sebastian doesn’t even flinch.

“Done,” he says without hesitation and Kurt knows he’s staring and his mouth is probably hanging open unattractively but he can’t help it.  Who just says okay to $10,000 like it’s nothing?

“So I’ll pick you up on Friday night then, I’ll come by early so I can brief you on what you’ll need to know,” Sebastian is already saying and Kurt’s head is still spinning.

“Wait- just, god, just stop for a minute,” Kurt says when he’s able to find his tongue.  “You do realize you just agreed to pay me $10,000 to fake date you for the summer right?”

“Yes?” Sebastian says, like he’s confused, “That’s what you asked for isn’t it?”

“I just… I don’t….Who even _are_ you?” Kurt asks, “Who just agrees to something like that?”

“Well apparently we do,” Sebastian smirks, “Because I’m pretty sure there are two of us in this thing Kurt.”

Kurt presses a hand to his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “I didn’t think you’d agree to it,” he whispers and Sebastian _laughs_ at him.

“Well too bad for you, lady face,” he says, “Because I did, and now we’re in this. Unless you want to go back on your word.”

Kurt _does_ want to, he wants to tell Sebastian he can take his money and go to hell, but he also doesn’t want to be the guy who doesn’t uphold his end of a deal.  And more than that, he really needs that money.

“No,” he manages, “No, I guess we’re in this.”

“Good,” Sebastian says, “Because the smell of Lima Loser is really starting to get to me and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand it wafting off of you.  But now that we’re agreed I can leave you to your pathetic life until Friday.”

“If we’re going to be boyfriends, you really should be nicer to me,” Kurt quips, but his heart isn’t in it. He mostly just wants to lay down and see if when he wakes up this all turns out to just be a wacky dream.

Sebastian laughs at him again.  “I’m saving the nice up for the family. There’s only so much of you I can stand at once, and I’m all out for the day.”

Kurt just stares at him, feeling vaguely ill at the prospect of seeing that face once a week all summer long.

“Friday. Four o’clock,” Sebastian says, “Dinner isn’t until seven so that’ll give me time to tell you everything you ought to know if we’ve really been dating a month.”

“You’re going to brief me on our entire fake relationship in three hours?” Kurt asks incredulously.

“More than enough time,” Sebastian leers, “I think you’re mistaking me for your Beaver Cleaver boyfriend dollface.  A relationship with me would be a whole lot less talking and a whole lot more fucking. As long as you can remember a few names and dates I think it’ll seem fairly accurate.”

Kurt shudders and pities anyone who ever actually decides to date the asshole.

“Fine, whatever, four o’clock,” he says, suddenly more than ready to be done with this for the day.

“See you then,” Sebastian confirms, with a wink that makes Kurt feel vaguely violated. 

Sebastian is almost to the door when he calls back, loudly, “Oh and Kurt? Try to wear something that actually came from the men’s section for once, yeah?”

Kurt blushes and hates himself for it, but he can’t help it.  Several customers have turned to stare at him and he can see at least one of the baristas giggling.  He has never hated Sebastian more.

Sebastian just smiles hugely and gives him a salute before heading out the door.

Kurt’s pride keeps him in his seat for another five minutes, so that when he leaves it doesn’t look like he’s fleeing. He drives home on autopilot, too tired to even worry anymore, and as soon as he’s there he collapses onto his bed, barely managing to kick off his shoes.

His last thought before he falls into a fitful sleep is _What have I gotten myself into?_

It won’t be the last time he has to ask himself that question.

*****  



	3. Chapter 2

Friday comes much too fast for Kurt.

He’d woken in a panic Thursday morning, the full weight of the previous day’s events sinking over him.  When he’d been forced to accept that, yes, he had in fact agreed to fake-date Sebastian Smythe all summer he’d wondered if maybe Sebastian hadn’t spiked his coffee with something after all.

There was nothing to do about it now though, and his resolve to see it through was only strengthened when he’d gone down to breakfast to find his dad worrying over the bills.  His dad had brushed it off, told him not to fret, but Kurt was determined not to add to that stress.  It was his education, and if the way to finance that was by spending one uncomfortable summer with someone he severely disliked, it still seemed a small price to pay.  Maybe he could even write an original musical about the experience and stage it someday when his status as a NYADA graduate helped him make a splash on Broadway.

Now that it was actually Friday though, with four o’clock looming ever closer, Kurt was wondering if there wasn’t some merit in just forgetting New York and spending another year at home.

He sighs heavily and pulls out his phone to look at his recent texts for the hundredth time in the last two days.

He hasn’t been able to stop rereading the last conversation, and he’s not sure why he keeps checking it, except that his traitor heart seems to somehow expect it to have more every time.

Thursday, June 14th

**To Blaine** (9:04 am) **:** _I know we aren’t supposed to be talking but I could really use some advice right now. I think I may have made a monumental mistake._

 **To Kurt** (11:32 am) **:** _Kurt, part of this summer is about learning to go to other people instead of each other. If we want to make this a real separation we can’t come to each other for advice._

 **To Blaine** (11:34 am): _I know, but I guess I thought I’d still have my friend. Please, I’m floundering here._

 **To Kurt** (11:44 am): _You know if we start talking it isn’t going to feel like just friends._

 **To Kurt** (11:45 am): _You aren’t hurt are you? Is it that kind of emergency?_

 **To Blaine** (11:49 am): _No, nothing like that. It’s actually a Sebastian emergency, mixed in with some NYADA stuff and I really want to talk to you about it all.  I feel like I got myself into a mess and I don’t even know how big it is yet.  Can I call you?_

 **To Kurt** (12:01 pm) **:** _I don’t want to be a bad guy here Kurt._

 **To Kurt** (12:03 pm): _But it’s important to me that we do this break-up the right way, and part of that is stepping back from each other’s lives for a while.  So I don’t think calling would be a good idea._

 **To Blaine** (12:07 pm): _I guess I didn’t realize there was a right way to do a break-up._

 **To Kurt** (1:49 pm) **:** _You aren’t being fair. You know this is hard for me too._

 **To Blaine** (1:50 pm) **:** _Fine.  I won’t call._

 **To Kurt** (2:12 pm) **:** _Don’t hate me. I’m trying to do what’s best for us._

 **To Blaine** (2:29 pm) **:** _I couldn’t hate you even if I wanted to._

 **To Kurt** (2:31 pm) **:** _Kurt, please don’t make this even harder._

 **To Blaine** (2:33 pm) **:** _It’s fine, you’re right. I’ll talk to you in August._

 **To Kurt** (2:34 pm) **:** _Thank you. I’m sorry._

 **To Blaine** (2:57 pm) **:** _Me too._

It’s still just as unsatisfying on the hundredth read-through as it had been the first time around. There’s no magic cure all being offered up, and if anything it depresses him further.  Somehow in all the worry about losing his boyfriend he’d not even contemplated what going a whole two months without his best friend would be like too. Now two days into the separation and he’s already missing Blaine more than he thought should be possible.

There isn’t anyone else he can really talk to about this either.  All of his other friends would throw a fit if they found out he was doing something to help Sebastian (the rest of New Directions hadn’t been as forgiving as Blaine and – relatively at least – Kurt.  Which Kurt finds funny considering they’re the two hurt the most by the meerkat’s actions). 

He can’t exactly tell any of them _why_ he had agreed either. Considering their penchant for gossip the news of his NYADA tuition troubles would get back to Finn in a matter of hours, and Finn would be sure to tell Burt out of some form of brotherly duty.  So no, he can’t talk to anyone about it except for Blaine, but it seems Blaine isn’t going to be an option either which means he’s in this alone.

At least no one is home this evening, his dad and Carole have headed back to DC yet again and Finn is out with Rachel, so there’ll be no witnesses to question Sebastian showing up and picking him up for what is essentially a date, even if it is all a ruse.  Kurt isn’t quite sure how he’s going to explain it all to his dad, because it isn’t like his dad’s going to be in DC all summer long.  Plus there’s the wedding in Pennsylvania at the end of August, and he’ll have to tell _someone_ where he’s disappearing to. 

But he has a few more days at least to figure that part out, his dad isn’t supposed to be back until next Thursday so really he has nearly a week, which means all his nerves and worry can for the moment be focused fully on just surviving the evening without wanting to strangle Sebastian in front of his parents.  He’s pretty sure that would be the kind of thing to blow a few holes in their story about being boyfriends.

He checks his outfit over one more time, and deems it acceptable if a bit boring.  At first he’d been tempted to wear one of his more extreme outfits just to get back at Sebastian for the parting comment from Wednesday, but in the end decided that he’d rather not have to sit through a dinner with a whole table of Smythes who might all be as critical of his fashion sense.  That would serve no one, and though he doesn’t care at all what Sebastian thinks of him, he’s strangely a little nervous to meet the boy’s parents.  But he’s willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, considering they seem to approve of his father.

That in and of itself is still hard to comprehend, mostly because his only experiences with the parents of gay teens thus far (not counting his own dad) have included the Anderson’s cold aloofness and Santana’s family and their blatant rejection.  The idea that the Smythes, who seem to move in the same social circles as the Andersons as far as he can tell, are not only accepting of their son’s sexuality, but actually care enough about the politics of it to support Burt – who had been as clear about his stand on marriage equality as he had been about his stand on arts education – well, it is unexpected to say the least.

So in concession to the tiny part of him that feels the need to impress these people even if they are only his fake-boyfriend’s parents, Kurt’s outfit is pretty plain.  He’s gone with dark colors, conservative cuts.  His one concession to his usual style is the vintage brooch he’s added to the breast of his waistcoat.  Even that is tame, a simple cameo instead of one of his more extreme pins (like his hippo, though he had considered it.)

His hair is coiffed and sprayed to within an inch of its life (and oh does he love his expensive hair products, which always manage to keep it in place without looking like there’s anything in it at all), he’s dressed with his jacket over his arm, and his keys, phone and wallet are all safely tucked into the slim black messenger bag at his side.  The only thing missing is his ‘date’ who’s currently running nearly forty minutes late.

He can’t even call to find out what’s causing the delay, as he realizes he doesn’t have Sebastian’s number.  It’s one of many things on the list he’s been constructing all day of things that need sorting out if they are going to make this whole boyfriend thing believable.

Fifteen minutes later and Kurt is just about ready to say screw it and go see if Mercedes wants to hit the mall for some evening shopping and smoothies, because Sebastian obviously isn’t showing up, when there’s a knock at the door.

He opens it to find Sebastian leaning against the frame smirking at him, and he has to fight the urge to slam it closed again immediately.  It’s going to be a long summer.

“You’re late,” Kurt says coolly, brushing past Sebastian and closing the door behind him.  There’s no way he’s inviting Sebastian into his house, they can talk in the car.

“Well you know, people to do, things to see,” Sebastian drawls, falling into step beside Kurt as he walks toward the street.

“You’re disgusting,” Kurt spits, “And next time I’m not sitting around and waiting. If you want this to work then you show up on time, otherwise don’t expect me to be here.”

“Jesus Kurt, I was only a half hour late,” Sebastian says, “Are you this whiny to Blaine when he doesn’t show up on time?”

“You were nearly an _hour_ late,” Kurt corrects, “And Blaine always shows up on time.”

“Of course he does,” Sebastian scoffs, “He probably opens your fucking car door for you too huh?”

Sebastian very pointedly moves around the car to the driver’s side without touching the passenger side door, smirking.  As if Kurt would even want his door held by Sebastian.

“Is this the part of the evening when you start insinuating that I’m a girl? Because I was so looking forward to that.” Kurt quips.

He’s not about to admit to the fact that Blaine does, in fact, open his door for him more often than not; it’s because Blaine’s a gentleman and has nothing to do with outdated gender roles.  There’s no way he’s trying to explain that to Sebastian though.

“I am so fucking glad we aren’t really dating,” Sebastian groans, “You’re bitchy enough as a fake boyfriend, and I bet you’d be worse as a real one. How the fuck has Anderson put up with you so long? I refuse to believe you’re that good in the sack.”

“Unlike _some people_ , Blaine actually appreciates manners,” Kurt snips back, climbing into the car. “And I’m not talking about my sex life with you.  You share enough about yours for the both of us.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes in response, and then he’s pulling out of the driveway before Kurt can even finish buckling his seatbelt. Kurt kind of wants to bitch at him for that too but he’s distracted by the fact that this is the third time in as many minutes that Blaine’s name has been mentioned. It hurts to hear it, and also has Kurt worrying about whether he’s going to be required to come clean about the fact that he and Blaine aren’t actually dating anymore any time soon.

Despite the fact that he really wants to steer the conversation away from his ex, talking about Blaine has made him remember one of the items on his ‘need to know’ list.

“Speaking of Blaine though,” he starts, and hopes Sebastian doesn’t notice how his voice gets tight when he says the name, “How is it that you haven’t been worried about your parents knowing about my boyf- about him.”

He grits his teeth over the stumble, and again hopes Sebastian remains oblivious.  As much as he’d like to be able to call Blaine his boyfriend it isn’t the truth anymore, and Kurt isn’t going to be the pathetic guy who can’t let go.  Besides, there’s a very good chance that Sebastian is going to figure out the truth of his situation with Blaine at some point this summer, and if Kurt was still calling Blaine his boyfriend then Sebastian would never let him live it down.

“Why would they have any idea who you’re dating? Other than me of course,” Sebastian adds, but he sounds genuinely confused.

“Because they hang out with the Andersons?” Kurt asks, “It might have come up in conversation for all I know.”

Sebastian laughs meanly.  “So many things wrong with that sentence princess,” he says, “Not the least of which is that you actually think who _you_ screw is worthy of dinner party small talk. Plus my parents and the Andersons? Let’s just say there’s no love lost between them.”

“What?” Now it’s Kurt’s turn to sound confused, “But Blaine always said…”

“I can guess what ‘Blaine always said’,” Sebastian interrupts, “Doesn’t make it true.”

“Blaine wouldn’t lie to me!” Kurt insists, wondering why he is so worried about the honor of the boy who just broke his heart two days ago.

“And I’m not saying he would,” Sebastian says, speaking as if Kurt is being dense.  “But I can pretty much guarantee he doesn’t have the whole story.”

Kurt waits quietly while Sebastian merges onto the highway toward Westerville, but even once they’re cruising down the almost empty road he doesn’t seem like he’s going to elaborate.

“So what’s the story?” Kurt asks.  When Sebastian looks like he’s considering holding out just to annoy Kurt, he adds, “I should probably know don’t you think? So I don’t accidentally say something at dinner that gives away the fact that I know nothing about you besides your penchant for wearing too much cologne and styling your hair like a model on the cover of Tiger Beat.”

“I’m not wearing any cologne idiot,” Sebastian volleys back, but Kurt just smirks.

“Oh you mean that’s just your natural odor? Well that makes sense at least. I was wondering where you found something that smelled like bottled sleaze.”

“And here I was about to tell you the story,” Sebastian sighs exaggeratedly, “But if you’re gonna be mean to me...”

It is exactly the right tactic to use against Kurt, damn his curiosity. He hates that Sebastian has already started to figure him out.  God only knows how bad this whole thing is going to be by the end of the summer.

“Just tell me,” he insists sullenly.

“Nope,” Sebastian teases, “Not until you say you’re sorry.  Jeez Kurt, you sure are a mean boyfriend.”

“I’m not your boyfriend,” Kurt spits back from between gritted teeth.

“Tonight you are,” Sebastian says, and Kurt tries to determine how hard it would be to leap from the car at the speed they’re traveling without damaging his clothes.

“Fine,” he gives in eventually, “I’m sorry. Will you tell me now?”

Sebastian grins at him and for a minute Kurt thinks he’s not going to talk until Kurt begs, but Sebastian surprisingly doesn’t push it.

“There was that so hard?”  When Kurt just glares at him his smile widens.  “I suppose since I’m such an _awesome_ boyfriend I can tell you.”

Kurt bites back every insult on the tip of his tongue and waits patiently.  The story better be fucking epic.

“Well it all started a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…” Sebastian starts, laughing when Kurt smacks him.

“Come on, seriously just tell me,” Kurt grumps, though he’s smiling a little himself (but only on the inside, he’s not about to let Sebastian know he finds _anything_ about this entire evening entertaining).

“Okay, god abusive much?” Sebastian says still laughing.  “It did start a long time ago though, back when Julian was going to Dalton.”

“Julian?”

“My brother,” Sebastian clarifies, “I forgot you’re one of the ‘common folk’ and so don’t automatically have the family trees of the social elite of Ohio burned into your brain since birth.”

Kurt crosses his arm, glaring at the ‘common’ dig, and debates snapping back about not wanting to be a part of a social class that deems people like Sebastian acceptable. However a bigger part of him really wants this story, and is also shamefully interested in hearing more about Sebastian’s family.  It almost makes Sebastian human, which is so bizarre that Kurt can’t help but be curious.  Or so he reasons.

“So quick family run down, just to get the players straight yeah?” Sebastian asks, darting a look at Kurt before focusing back on the road.  If Kurt didn’t know better he’d think Sebastian was almost a little nervous about sharing with him. Kurt just nods and settles back into the leather seat.

“I won’t give you the _whole_ post-colonial history,” Sebastian continues, smile tight in a way that makes Kurt sure it is a history which Sebastian himself has been frequently reminded of. “Suffice it to say that the Smythe name is kind of a big deal on the east coast.  I guess you could call us ‘old money’ though actually saying that would be incredibly gauche in polite company.  My dad is the eldest son in the empire at the moment, though given his increasingly left wing political leanings who knows if Granddad will try to disinherit him.  Anyway, there’s my parents, my two older siblings and me. Julian is the oldest, though not by much. He and Olivia are what you’d call Irish twins.”

When Kurt just looked confused, Sebastian smiles in a way that Kurt knows means he’s about to be crude.

“It means they were born less than a year apart.  Let’s just say mom and dad were very busy celebrating their marriage back in 1986.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, and hates himself for blushing. He’s not a virgin anymore after all, and he shouldn’t let the briefest mentions of sex fluster him.  It’s just something about Sebastian though, that makes even the vaguest references to sex seem somehow ten times dirtier.

Before his face starts to cool, Kurt does some quick mental math and is completely distracted from his embarrassment by the realization that Sebastian isn’t just the youngest, he’s the youngest by a lot.

“Wait, so your brother is-“

“26, yep,” Sebastian cuts him off, anticipating, “And Liv is almost 25.”

Kurt opens his mouth to ask another question and pauses, unsure of how you ask why someone was born so much later than their siblings without it sounding tacky.  When he’d found out about Cooper from Blaine it had been easy, because Blaine had just _told_ him that his mom had had a really hard time conceiving and so it had taken nearly 8 years to get pregnant a second time.

Finally he settles on a vague, “So you…”

“Were a mistake,” Sebastian says wryly, “Though my mom prefers the word ‘surprise’.”

Kurt blushes again, this time embarrassed for having obviously brought up something perhaps better left alone, but Sebastian just shrugs like it doesn’t bother him.

“It’s fine, I know you were wondering.”

Kurt shrugs back, avoiding Sebastian’s eyes and searches for a way to get the conversation back on track.

“You said Julian went to Dalton,” he mentions finally, making another connection, “Was he there when Cooper went?”

Sebastian smiles at him like he just picked the right door on a game show, and Kurt hates that he gets a tiny little thrill at having apparently done well.

“Ding ding ding, give the boy a prize,” Sebastian says, “That, my dear, is the simple thing upon which the entire Anderson-Smythe feud hinges.  He _did_ in fact go to Dalton with Cooper, was one year ahead of him.  They were friends too, for awhile.”

“Why just for awhile?” Kurt asks, but Sebastian tuts at him.

“Now now, no jumping ahead.  The first thing you need to know is that if the Smythes are what would be considered ‘old money’ the Andersons are ‘new money’, having only come into their relative wealth a generation ago.  It sounds dramatic to say it, but that stuff _matters_ to some people in the circles our families run in.”

“Does it matter to you?” Kurt can’t help but ask.  He’s gotten relatively few peeks into how Sebastian and his family operate so far, but it’s hard for him to reconcile a man who thinks Burt Hummel is the best thing that ever happened to Ohio with someone who is elitist about money and privilege.

“No,” Sebastian says immediately, and then grins again, “Would I really be dating you if it did?”

“You aren’t dating me though,” Kurt feels the need to point out.

“Fine, but I wouldn’t be fake dating you either,” Sebastian amends. “That stuff doesn’t matter to my family, or to me beyond enjoying all the things my wealth can buy me, but it _is_ important to the Andersons.”

Kurt hums an acknowledgement, trying to tie this new knowledge in with the Andersons he knows from dating Blaine.  The truth is that he doesn’t really know anything about them, besides how they relate to Blaine. Blaine never seemed elitist though, and he wonders if maybe Sebastian is exaggerating things – or if Blaine was just that much out of tune with his own parents.  The sad thing is that he wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter, Blaine hardly even interacted with his parents as far as Kurt knew. 

But _enough_ with thinking about Blaine. Kurt chastised himself for letting his mind wander back along that path.  For the summer at least, he had to cut out those thoughts or he’d never survive.

“So the Andersons were, what? Glad that Cooper had befriended someone of status?” Kurt asks instead and is rewarded with another approving smile.

“Got it in one again Hummel, I’m surprised. I thought for sure all that hairspray and make-up you use would have killed most of your brain cells by now.”

Kurt flips him off and gets another laugh.

“Yes, the Andersons were thrilled,” Sebastian continues when he’s stopped chuckling.  “Not that Cooper or Julian cared about that stuff, at least according to Julian.  They were both on the lacrosse and fencing teams, and ended up rooming together Julian’s senior year.  That, combined with a shared penchant for pranks and inappropriate jokes, and it was easy to see why they became best friends.”

Kurt thinks about the times he’s met Cooper Anderson, so recently returned to the Anderson home and Blaine’s life this past year.  The description Sebastian is giving him definitely fits, and Kurt is suddenly intensely looking forward to meeting Julian.  Kurt doesn’t know Cooper too well, but well enough to know he likes him and that Coop is a good judge of character.  If he and Julian got along so well, maybe the man will prove to be just as likeable – unlike his little brother.

“It was all going swimmingly, monthly calls from the headmaster’s office about prank wars not-withstanding,” Sebastian says, and he’s definitely in storyteller mode now, his voice vibrant and stringing Kurt along for the ride, “and would have continued to do so if the hall monitor had just skipped bed checks like usual that day in May.”

“What happened?” Kurt asks, and he is dimly aware that his voice has gotten a little breathless with excitement but he can’t help it, Sebastian knows how to spin a tale.

“He caught them kissing.”

Kurt just stares, stunned, for several long minutes.  Sebastian is grinning like the cat that got the cream, obviously thrilled at having shocked Kurt so completely.

When Kurt finally finds his voice again he can’t help but nearly shout,  “But Cooper’s not gay!”

(He _knows_ Cooper’s not, he and Blaine have walked in on too many of Cooper’s own escapades with his on-again off-again girlfriend in the last four months.  That, and he’d asked Blaine point blank what Cooper’s orientation was after Cooper had drunkenly called him ‘the prettiest boy he’d ever seen’ while trying to pull Kurt into a hug one night.)

“Maybe, maybe not,” Sebastian shrugs, “I wouldn’t know, I was only ten at the time and far too invested in my own life to care about my older brother’s pursuits. Especially my older brother who I only ever saw some weekends and holidays when he came home from school.  All I know is that they were kissing, and they got caught.”

“So Julian is gay though?” Kurt asks, because he’s still feeling a bit confused and overwhelmed with this new information.  He’s also trying to ignore the voice in his head asking if Blaine knows his brother used to kiss boys (he’s pretty sure the answer is no) as well as ignoring the urge to text Blaine with the new information immediately.  He stamps that urge down.

“Nope,” Sebastian says.

“Bi?” Kurt asks. (He’s come around on his ideas about bi-sexuality since that argument with Blaine nearly a year and a half ago.)

“Nuh-uh,” Sebastian says and he’s smiling again.

“Okay, you have to give me something here, because unless I’ve been hanging out with all the wrong people, straight boys don’t just randomly end up kissing other straight boys,” Kurt finally says in a huff, throwing his hands up in frustration.

Sebastian smirks, which seems to be his default state.  “I’m not even going to touch all the digs I could make about you hanging out with the wrong type of people,” he says smugly, “Mostly because you’ve amused me with your ruffled feather look.  Julian is just _sexual_.  He likes to say he likes pretty things, and from the wide variety of people he’s brought home over the years I’d say it’s a fairly accurate description. Julian likes sex and he’s not picky about where it comes from as long as the person is attractive.”

“Great,” Kurt moans, burying his face in his hands as he processes this, “You’re from a family of nymphomaniacs.  It’s all making sense now.”

He wonders for a minute if Sebastian will be offended at the joke, Blaine certainly would have been. But Sebastian just laughs louder and looks generally pleased with himself when Kurt sneaks a look. 

“I’m totally going to tell them you said that. I think it’ll be an interesting anecdote to share over the main course, don’t you?”

Kurt is sure his face is horrified, and is about to start groveling if it’ll keep Sebastian from humiliating him at this dinner, but Sebastian’s expression softens to something almost fond which is…strange.  Just as quickly it’s back to the hardened sneer that he so often wears, and Kurt wonders if he imagined the whole thing.

“Don’t worry loser, I can’t exactly act like an ass to you without blowing our cover,” he says, rolling his eyes at Kurt, “You can relax, you look like you’re about to have an aneurysm - and throbbing forehead vein? Not the best look for you, though it is an improvement over your normal face.”

Kurt scowls, but can’t help but relax internally at the reassurance.

“What happened to Cooper and Julian?” he asks instead of dignifying the attack on his appearance with a response.  Plus, he kinda wants to know.

“The gossip mill hit overdrive, and our parents found out. It was a huge scandal, I mean being gay was even less accepted a decade ago, ya know?” Sebastian says, and the look he gives Kurt is one of inclusive understanding and disappointment with the world.  Kurt realizes that even though they may not like each other, the both of them are in the same boat as far as the world sees them. Apparently that is enough for a modicum of camaraderie with Sebastian.

“The Andersons freaked out, accused Julian of corrupting their son and pulled Cooper out of school,” Sebastian continues. “There was even talk about them suing Dalton for awhile on some kind of morality complaint, but they never could make a case.  Julian was heartbroken, Cooper got shipped off to military school for his senior year, and as far as I know they haven’t talked since.  And there’s been bad blood between the Smythes and the Andersons for nearly eight years because of it all.”

“So that’s why Blaine didn’t go there his freshman year,” Kurt muses, connecting more dots in his head.  “That’s why they sent him to public school?”

“I’d assume so, though I don’t think he knows that,” Sebastian agrees. “Pretty sure once they realized Blaine was actually gay they figured Dalton couldn’t ruin him anymore than they already thought he was, so they sent him in the end.”

Kurt considers Sebastian for a long time then, as Sebastian falls silent – negotiating a sudden burst of traffic that is threatening to slow them down as rush hour begins in earnest on the highway.

He wonders if Sebastian knows about Blaine’s bashing and its role in sending Blaine to Dalton.  He wonders why, if Sebastian knew all this juicy information about their brothers all this time, he never shared that information with Blaine.  He wonders why Sebastian is sharing it with _him_ now.  He’s also wondering if there would be any legal repercussions to him taking this soap opera-worthy story and penning a screenplay about it. 

What he won’t think to wonder until much later is why _Sebastian_ wasn’t at Dalton before this last year. 

“Is that why you went after Blaine then?” Kurt asks when they’re moving swiftly down the road once more. He hadn’t even been aware he was going to ask. “Because of the family history?”

Sebastian darts another look at Kurt, and Kurt can’t quite read his expression.

“I’ll admit that when I heard about Blaine Anderson, ex-head Warbler, I was intrigued by the connection,” Sebastian admits.  “I’d heard so much about Cooper from Julian years ago that I guess a part of me was curious to see if the younger Anderson differed very much from his descriptions.”

“And?” Kurt asks.

“And having never actually met Cooper I can’t really say,” Sebastian admits, “But the Blaine I met didn’t match the stories of his brother. He was definitely his own entity.”

“Oh,” is all Kurt can say.  He’s not sure what he was expecting to hear, isn’t sure what he wanted to hear, but somehow the answer leaves him feeling at odds. He can’t tell if he’s disappointed that Blaine’s appeal to Sebastian wasn’t just in the comparison or if he’s disappointed that whatever Blaine ended up being to Sebastian was apparently even more intriguing if his continued pursuit was anything to go by.

When the silence between them starts to feel a little too long, a little too strained, Kurt speaks again just to break it.

“So what exactly were you going to say to your parents if you’d ended up actually dating Blaine?  If things are as bad between your families as you make it sound, that would have been an issue right?”

“Who ever said I wanted to _date_ Blaine?” Sebastian says with a leer that is so clearly sexual Kurt feels like he needs a shower.

“Ug, I forgot for a moment who I was talking to,” Kurt responds, “My mistake.”

Sebastian just turns up the leer another notch and chuckles when Kurt shudders in disgust.

“Ya know, for someone who spent the past year trying to put a stop to any mention of Blaine and I in the same sentence, let alone in reference to possible dating, you sure do seem interested in my past interest in him all of a sudden.”

Kurt flushes guiltily again, hating that Sebastian is right and his own subconscious has betrayed him by making him talk about the one thing he most wanted to avoid. Namely, Blaine.

“Whatever, it was just a question,” Kurt says, trying to blow it off.

“Hmmm, maybe,” Sebastian considers him for a long moment.  “I guess it doesn’t matter in the end since you’re the one I’m bringing home to mommy though huh?”

Kurt shrugs and picks at imaginary lint on his pants.  He really wants to stop talking now.

“You know, I never did ask you what Blaine thinks of this whole arrangement,” Sebastian presses, “Us fake dating and all.  I can’t imagine it was something he accepted blithely.”

Kurt shrugs again, and breathes evenly through his nose to keep from panicking.  “It’s not like you and I are actually dating,” he hedges, “So it’s not a big deal.”

“Why do I find that hard to believe?” Sebastian counters, “I may not know your precious boy toy as well as you do, but Blaine doesn’t seem like the type to want to share, even if it’s just pretend.”

“Not really his business,” Kurt mumbles, prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that Sebastian will drop it.

Apparently belief is a big part of having your prayers answered, or so Kurt assumes, because his aren’t.

“Not his business?” Sebastian asks, sounding honestly incredulous, “Jesus you’d think you were broken up with the guy from all the consideration you’re giving his feelings. After everything this past year, I didn’t expect an attitude like that from you Kurtikins.”

“Yeah well, things change,” Kurt says, somewhat more bitterly than he intended. 

“Oh really?” Sebastian asks, “So if you don’t have to run your dates by him anymore-“

“Fake dates,” Kurt corrects viciously.

“ _Fake dates_ ,” Sebastian allows, “Then does that mean he’s allowed to ‘fake-date’ too? Because if so I may just find myself in need of another fake boyfriend for a few nights this summer.”

And that hurts, so much more than Kurt wants it to.  It hurts because it reminds him that Blaine is gone (a pain still fresh after only two days). It hurts because it makes him think about the fact that Blaine can go on _real dates_ with anyone he wants now.  And it hurts because, no matter how much he hates to admit it, it is one more reminder that Blaine is desirable where Kurt is not.  It’s not that Kurt wants Sebastian to want him (god, the thought alone makes him want to vomit), but it’s a reminder that Sebastian _does_ want Blaine. That he would seek Blaine out as a fake boyfriend, whereas circumstance and poor forethought have simply saddled him with Kurt.  Kurt is so so tired of feeling like he’s not enough, even to someone like Sebastian.

To his horror he feels himself tearing up.  He pinches the inside of his own thigh to stop himself from crying, because that is something he absolutely will not allow Sebastian to see. 

Since it seems the truth is on its way out sooner than later, he also decides he might as well put it all out there himself.

“Blaine can date whoever he wants,” he spits out, still staring hard out the window so that Sebastian won’t be able to see even the trace of wetness along his lashes. “Good luck with scoring that date with him from 2,000 miles away though.”

“What?”  Sebastian sounds so surprised that Kurt can’t help but look back over.  The confusion on the other boy’s face is so comical that it almost makes the pain of the conversation worth it.  At least Kurt doesn’t feel like crying anymore. Much.

“Blaine’s in California for the summer,” Kurt clarifies, “He won’t be back ‘til the end of August. Music camp.”

Sebastian is side-eyeing him super hard, but Kurt doesn’t really care what the other boy thinks, and he’s not going to elaborate unless Sebastian asks.

Which of course he does.

“Seriously Kurt, if this is just some ploy to keep me away from your Tiny Dancer it’s not very well thought out, it’s not like I can’t drop by and see for myself if he’s around.”

“Please do,” Kurt snips, “After what you’ve just told me I’m sure the Andersons would love to see you.”

Sebastian frowns and keeps looking at Kurt until he’s forced to return his eyes to the road.

“Is he really in California?”

“That’s what I said isn’t it?” Kurt snaps.

“You don’t have to bite my head off, jeez,” Sebastian mutters. “Sorry I find it so hard to believe that your perfect boy would take off and leave his boyfriend for the summer, especially since it’s your last summer before college.”

“Yeah well, you and me both,” Kurt mumbles back, “Though technically he didn’t.  Leave his boyfriend that is.”

He’s not sure why he’s volunteering the information, especially because he’s been so adamantly trying to avoid this exact subject ever since running into Sebastian at the Lima Bean. He supposes it has just suddenly hit the point where it hurts more to hide it than it does to say it.

“What?” Sebastian says again, and Kurt would enjoy being able to fluster Sebastian so much if the whole situation didn’t just monumentally suck. “You…did you dump him?”

Kurt isn’t sure why, but he feels strangely flattered that Sebastian assumed he’s the one who did the dumping.

“Not exactly,” he admits grudgingly. “Look I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sebastian is still sneaking long looks at him whenever he can pull his eyes from the road, and Kurt would criticize his driving and complain about not wanting to die young and pretty quite yet, but he’s feeling like he might cry again and so opening his mouth is probably not a good idea.

He’s sure, though, that Sebastian is going to push anyway.  There is no way the boy is going to be compassionate enough to let him put a close to this line of questioning. 

Sebastian surprises him again though.  He doesn’t push, nor does he bring Blaine back up for the rest of the car ride, though he keeps looking at Kurt like he’s a specimen under glass and Sebastian is trying to figure out what makes him tick.  Kurt concentrates on being as opaque as possible, his shields back up at full force.

The rest of the drive is a juxtaposition of moments of stilted silence interspersed with some animated conversation largely revolving around those ‘dating facts’ Kurt needs to know. 

By the time they reach Sebastian’s home Kurt knows that they’ve apparently been dating since the 5th of May, their first date was to a sushi place in Columbus (Kurt tells Sebastian that he’s lucky Kurt actually likes sushi, because what if he’d been allergic to fish? Sebastian shrugs like getting lucky is just a fact of his life.  It probably is.)

Kurt already knows sibling names, learns mom and dad are Charlotte and Gregory and the fiancé Brian’s last name is Wilton (another ‘old money’ family apparently). Sebastian doesn’t elaborate too much, tells him that if they were ‘really dating’ they certainly wouldn’t have found time to over-share about their families by now. (‘Too much fucking,’ he insists, ‘not so much talking.’  Kurt pushes down his nausea and distaste, promises himself that no matter what Sebastian may think he’s not going to let the Smythe’s think of him as just a long term hook-up.) Likewise Sebastian has absolutely no interest in hearing about Kurt’s family (‘I know all I need to know about them from my dad’s constant fangirling’ he’d said, ‘I don’t need to hear it from you too’.)

The small talk and fact exchange may be surface level and interspersed with various insults, but it does serve as a nice distraction from Kurt’s thoughts.  By the time they’re pulling up to Sebastian’s home, Kurt has his tears and hurt in a lockdown tighter than Fort Knox.  When Sebastian shoots him an appraising look and then a tiny smile he wonders if that was the boy’s intention the entire time.  If so it is just one more sign that Sebastian may be human after all, and capable of empathy, which will never stop feeling strange, Kurt is sure.

He can’t think too much about Sebastian’s motives though, because they’ve just turned up the drive and when Kurt looks out the windshield all he can think is,

“ _Holy shit_.”

Apparently he’s vocalized the thought, because Sebastian is laughing again.

******


	4. Chapter 3

“Holy Shit.”

Sebastian is laughing, but Kurt doesn’t care because holy shit.

“This isn’t a house, this is a freaking estate!” he breathes out when he can find some air and stop staring quite so wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

“Did you miss the whole conversation we had about ‘old money’? C’mon Kurt, this can’t be that much of a surprise,” Sebastian chides, though he’s still smiling at Kurt like one might grin at a child getting their first glimpse of Disneyland.

“I didn’t know that places like this existed in Ohio,” Kurt says softly, eyes darting from window to window inside the car, trying to take it all in. “I didn’t know places like this existed outside of movies.”

Estate might even be too small of a word for the expanse of house and grounds that is spreading out before Kurt’s eyes as they pull further up the drive (and it is an actual drive, one long curve of road that pulls through gates set in a high stone wall and then meanders up toward the main house). 

The house itself is gigantic, an architectural masterpiece of varying lines and color, wood and stone. In the just-falling dusk of the evening the glow of light from the multitude of windows only makes it more beautiful, gives it a warm, inviting air where it could easily have been imposing and cold if things were only a little different. As it is Kurt kind of feels like he’s driving into a fairytale or a dream, which is both fascinating and scary.

He already likes the house too much for something that belongs in anyway to Sebastian.

“You know you’re bugged-eyed enough as it is, the ogling isn’t really helping you out,” Sebastian mocks. Kurt wants to argue but he’s pretty sure ogling is exactly what he’s doing. 

“Whatever,” he mutters instead and settles back in his seat. He can’t stop staring, but he tries to do it a bit more discreetly for the rest of the journey.

Less than a minute later they’re pulling up to what appears to be a detached garage, large enough to house a fleet of vehicles but currently only holding four others. Sebastian pulls into the empty slot on the far left side and kills the engine.

A million questions and worries run through Kurt’s mind, because now that the shock of the house has worn off he’s realizing that they are here and in a few minutes time he’s going to be expected to play the role of Sebastian’s boyfriend in a house full of strangers. He feels suddenly and completely unprepared, knows nothing as surely as the fact that he’s going to screw this up. How had they ever thought they could pull this off?

“Listen,” Sebastian starts, sounding just as on edge as Kurt, which really isn’t helping Kurt’s nerves. Sebastian doesn’t get a chance to finish though, because in Kurt’s panicked, illogical search for the nearest exits his eyes have just lit upon something that distracts him from his fears completely.

“Oh my god,” he exhales, voice reverent, and he’s already climbing out of the car before Sebastian even realizes he’s moving.

They are parked next to one of the most gorgeous cars Kurt has ever seen, and even if the whole rest of the night goes to shit he is totally and completely sure it will be worth it just for having seen this.

“You have an Aston Martin,” he sighs, “I can’t believe you have an Aston Martin.”

Sebastian has joined him, arms crossed almost defensively though his face is still open, so Kurt figures it’s habit instead of actual crossness.

“Yeah, so?”

“So?” Kurt says scornfully, “So? Are you kidding me? This thing is gorgeous. Why the hell are you driving that when you have an Aston Martin in your garage?” He gestures toward Sebastian’s, admittedly still very nice, Mustang as if Sebastian has committed some kind of mortal sin. Truthfully that’s a fair description of what it is to ignore a car like the one in front of him as far as Kurt is concerned.

Sebastian is still smirking at him like Kurt is putting on a particularly entertaining show. 

“Well three reasons really,” he says eventually when it becomes clear Kurt actually wants an answer. “One, it’s my dad’s car; two, the steering wheel is on the wrong side which makes driving way more challenging than it needs to be (Kurt rolls his eyes at that); and three, mine’s red.” He cocks a thumb back at his candy apple red car with a huge smile, as if that’s the best reason of them all. Kurt isn’t sure he’s ever judged Sebastian more harshly, which is really saying something.

“You- I…I don’t even know how to respond to that,” Kurt sputters, “I can’t believe you accuse me of being a girl and yet you’re the one who picked your car because of the color.”

Sebastian laughs and shrugs as if it doesn’t matter to him at all what Kurt thinks, which it probably doesn’t. 

Kurt ignores him, turning back to the car in question and just staring for a minute, eyes drinking up all the details, and then skating his hand over the lines of it – being sure to keep his palm a good inch above the actual car itself. He just wants to absorb the magnificence, and he’s not risking fingerprints.

Sebastian laughs again, and Kurt is starting to really be irked by the sound, mostly because it always seems to be directed at him.

“You know it isn’t the Mona Lisa or anything,” Sebastian chuckles, “You can actually touch it, it’s just a car.”

Kurt is about to lecture Sebastian on all the ways that ‘just a car’ is an inadequate description for the vehicle in question (he is Burt’s son after all) but Sebastian shocks all the words out of him by jumping up unceremoniously to sit heavily on the hood, making the entire frame bounce and shake. Kurt is pretty sure he’s about to have a heart attack.

“You can’t just do that!” he screeches, already trying to tug Sebastian off, “Do you understand what you’re jumping on? This isn’t just some..some..station wagon!”

“Relax, jeez,” Sebastian teases, “I’m not going to break it.”

“It isn’t about breaking it, though with the added weight of your enormous ego I might actually worry about that too,” Kurt snaps, “It’s about respecting the craftsmanship and beauty of it, and not just flinging yourself on top of it like some cheap pinup model with feathered hair and a bad boob job!”

Sebastian’s expression shifts suddenly and Kurt worries that maybe he’s gone too far, but then he sees Sebastian is actually staring behind him.

“You know son, I think I like him already.”

Kurt swallows heavily and pivots to find a man that is very obviously Sebastian’s father standing behind them wearing a familiar, if slightly warmer, smirk.

“Mr. Smythe,” he squeaks, running through the last few minutes of conversation and wondering if he’s dug himself into a hole already. So much for first impressions.

Mr. Smythe, however, seems nothing more than amused. The smirk morphs into a genuine smile as he steps closer, holding a hand out to Kurt to shake.

“Call me Greg, please,” he says as Kurt shakes the proffered hand. “It’s a real pleasure to finally meet you Kurt, we’ve heard so much about you.”

Kurt shoots a raised eyebrow at Sebastian who gives a slight shake of his head and a grimace, indicating he absolutely has not been talking about Kurt any more than necessary. Kurt rolls his eyes, but puts on a smile of his own when he looks back at Sebastian’s father.

“It’s nice to meet you too, sir,” he manages in a much calmer voice, though he can still feel some heat in his cheeks, “I’m sorry about, um, I was just-“

Mr. Smythe laughs kindly and waves off Kurt’s attempt at apology. “Nothing to apologize for, I appreciate a person who understands the beauty of a good car, lord knows none of my own children do. I suppose you come by it honestly too. Burt Hummel has always seemed to me like the kind of man who has an interest in fine automobiles, especially given his own successful auto shop business.”

Kurt smile widens, both at the praise and at the realization that Sebastian wasn’t kidding about his dad’s apparent fan-status when it comes to Burt. 

“Oh I’m pretty sure my dad would have been even more excited than me,” Kurt confirms.

“Well we’ll all have to get together some time, I’d be happy to let him poke around under her hood in exchange for some time to pick his brain on his political plans for this next year,” Mr. Smythe concludes, and Kurt keeps smiling even though he can’t picture explaining to his dad that he’s dating Sebastian let alone inviting him out to the Smythe estate for a ‘get to know the potential in-laws’ type of deal – which is exactly what Sebastian’s father seems to be suggesting.

“I’m sure he’d love that,” he hedges, and then promises himself he will screen all phone calls for the rest of the summer to stop his dad from getting the unexpected invitation should Mr. Smythe actually call him up.

Sebastian has finally slid off the car and moved up to stand with them, and Kurt is amused to see him fidgeting slightly as if he’s not entirely comfortable with any of this either. He’s definitely enjoying seeing the discomfort on Sebastian’s normally composed face.

Mr. Smythe considers his son for a moment too and seems to come to some conclusion though Kurt can’t tell for the life of him what it is.

“Well boys,” he says finally, “I just came out to tell you not to dawdle too long, your mother almost has dinner on the table. You’ll have to save the grand tour for later.”

“Sure,” Sebastian says, and his voice is steady, not betraying any nerves he might be feeling, “I don’t think Kurt cares about a tour anyway. I’m pretty sure there’s only one room in the house he’d be interested in, and if you’ve seen one bedroom you’ve seen them all right babe?”

He’s smirking again now, and when his meaning sinks in Kurt’s blush blooms bright once more. He’d been so distracted by the sudden nickname it’s taken a few seconds for him to realize that Sebastian has just told his father that Kurt is only interested in his bedroom, oh god.

Mr. Smythe doesn’t seem bothered by the insinuation, but neither does he seem to take it too seriously much to Kurt’s relief.

“Come on now Seb, don’t try to embarrass Kurt just because you’re nervous about him meeting everyone,” he chides gently. “I know you’ve never done this before, but generally when you bring a boy home to meet the parents the idea is to make sure he’s comfortable, not mortified.”

Sebastian shrugs and looks slightly apologetic at least, but Kurt can hardly be bothered to be surprised by that. He is much too busy processing the ‘you’ve never done this before’ to appreciate Sebastian looking sorry for the second time in their entire acquaintance.

He’s never brought someone home before, Kurt thinks. Sure, maybe to fuck, but never to meet the parents, never as a boyfriend. 

He’s not sure why he’s so surprised but he is, and he’s also feeling as if this entire evening is suddenly much more important than he’d initially assumed. Fake relationship or not, he is now forever going to be the very first boy Sebastian Smythe ever brought home to meet the family.

Either Sebastian doesn’t care about the significance of the event, or he’s hiding his emotions very adeptly. Kurt wouldn’t be surprised to find that either was true – and maybe it’s a bit of both.

Mr. Smythe smiles at them both one more time. “Well I’ll leave you two for a few minutes, but don’t take too long okay? I remember my own misspent youth well enough to know the appeal of a car’s backseat, and your mother will throw a fit if dinner goes cold.”

With that he shoots them a conspiratorial wink and heads back up to the house. Kurt tries desperately to convince himself that Sebastian’s dad didn’t just imply that he was leaving them alone for a quickie before dinner. Sebastian’s own smirk isn’t helping him pretend.

“So that was my dad,” Sebastian drawls after the man in question has disappeared up the path to the main house.

“He seems nice,” Kurt says, because innuendo aside (definitely a trait shared by father and son) it’s true. He’d not seemed at all like the imposing and scary figure Kurt had composed in his mind when trying to piece together all the glimpses of information he’d gotten from Sebastian. 

“Whatever,” Sebastian says, with a dismissive lift of his chin and looking a little sulky, “I told you he’d like you, you are the kid of his fucking idol after all.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, but can’t help the way his gaze softens at the recognition of a bit of nervous posturing on Sebastian’s part. If the rest of the evening can just continue like this then Kurt thinks he might actually survive it and live to tell the tale.

“Shall we?” he asks, holding out a hand to Sebastian when it seems the other boy might just be content to sulk in the garage rather than see Kurt get along with his family.

Sebastian stares at the outstretched hand for a long moment before marching past Kurt, blatantly ignoring it as he strides up the path.

“Are you coming?” he calls back, tone hard again now that they have no audience to play for.

Kurt bristles but tries to keep his temper under wraps by convincing himself that Sebastian is just acting like this to get a reaction. He hurries to catch up and keeps pace with Sebastian all the way to the front door, even though it becomes clear that Sebastian is quickening his stride just to try and throw Kurt off. 

Really, could he be any more childish?

When they reach the door Sebastian pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath as if steeling himself to enter the lion’s den. Kurt’s own nerves flare back to life, but he’s not going to let it show. Kurt Hummel can be one hell of an actor when he wants to be.

A few seconds later Sebastian is pushing open the door and gesturing Kurt inside. He can hear the clamor of voices from a room further inside the house, and is immediately enveloped in the warmth of light and laughter. 

Sebastian closes the door behind them and pushes Kurt forward with a hand against the small of his back. Just before they step into what Kurt assumes to be the dining room, he leans forward and whispers in Kurt’s ear.

“Don’t screw this up.”

Kurt stomps hard on Sebastian’s foot in retaliation and puts on his biggest smile when he hears Sebastian cursing behind him.

*****

Kurt still isn’t sure what he expected the Smythe’s to be like, but by the time dinner is over and they are all lingering at the table over dessert and coffee he is sure that all of those expectations have been blown out of the water.

In a way, he thinks, the Smythe’s are a lot like their house - warm and welcoming where they could have easily been cold or imposing if they’d been anything less than exactly what they are.

They welcome him into the fold easily, engaging him in discussion without ever making him feel like he’s being put on the spot, and displaying real interest in whatever he has to say. They tease him as familiarly as they tease each other, poking at him playfully for dating Sebastian (Kurt nearly loses it when Greg does in fact bring up brainwashing as ‘the only explanation for my son bringing home a boy who is clearly out of his league’). Kurt can’t remember the last time he laughed and smiled so much and actually meant it.

In the few hours they spend together over the meal, Kurt realizes that they’ve made him feel more welcome and at ease than the Anderson’s managed in the year and a half he was dating their son. The thought sobers him somewhat from where he’s been caught up in the whirlwind of joviality and real sense of family that the Smythe’s present.

They are enchanting as a family, but individually they are fascinating too, each simultaneously different from the others and yet also the same, like unique pieces of a coherent puzzle. Kurt finds himself just as enamored with them as they seem to be with him.

Sebastian’s mother, Charlotte as she’d insisted on being called, is every inch the benevolent matriarch, mothering all her children to within an inch of their lives but doing it with so much love and honest affection that none of them can work up much disgruntlement. Greg laughs loudly and teases just as often, rolling his eyes at his wife’s antics but looking at her with such open adoration that Kurt frequently has to avert his eyes because he feels like he’s intruding on something intimate and private. It reminds him of the way his dad looks at Carole when he thinks no one is watching.

Sebastian’s siblings are nothing like Kurt has imagined either, and yet now that he’s met them he can’t picture them having ever been any other way. Olivia is sweet, sassy and smart in equal measure, keeping up with the boys insult for insult and joke for joke, and then in the next instant tossing her dark curls (definitely inherited from her mother, where the boys have both gotten their father’s sandy hair) and smiling at her fiancé with a look so innocent that Kurt would never have believed it was the same girl had he not seen the transformation with his own eyes. Brian is a little more staid than the Smythe clan, but he smiles indulgently at his wife-to-be and talks with Greg about politics and business in a way that speaks of long familiarity.

Kurt learns rather quickly, as Liv insists that he sit next to her, that she and Brian have basically grown up together as their families have age-old connections. She confides that it is practically an arranged marriage, and her inner feminist would have balked at the whole thing if she didn’t love Brian so damn much in the first place. 

When she learns that Kurt is heading to New York in September she immediately begins regaling him with tales of the city. She’s finishing up a Master’s degree in Comparative Literature at NYU and Brian just recently graduated from Columbia Law School and is going to work for his father’s firm in the city. For a few minutes, as she’s detailing all the shopping she wants to do with Kurt once he gets to the city, Kurt manages to forget that such plans are ultimately just fantasy – that he and Sebastian aren’t really dating and by the time he heads to the city in September their fake relationship will be over and he’ll probably never see Olivia again.

Then there is Julian. Julian who’s an artist. Julian who spent two semesters at Parsons, and a half a year at Berkeley. Julian who once lived in Germany for six months and traveled through Europe for the rest of the year. Julian who is a bizarre combination of engaging and aloof. Julian, the only one of the Smythe children with their father’s piercing blue eyes. Julian who apparently used to kiss Cooper. Julian who is devastatingly gorgeous.

By the end of dinner Kurt’s pretty sure he’s a little in love. If the looks Sebastian keeps shooting him are any indication (glares and hard glances) he hasn’t been too subtle about it either.

The thing is, it isn’t even that Julian is lovely to look at – though he most definitely is. Hell, if it came down to looks, Kurt would have to grudgingly admit to himself that he finds Sebastian slightly more attractive than his brother. And it isn’t even that he’s attracted to Julian, not in a sexual or romantic way. It’s that the man is so completely different from anyone that Kurt has ever encountered, and he can’t help but be drawn to that. There is something about him that speaks to the artistic spirit Kurt feels sometimes in his own soul, and he finds himself feeling comforted by the idea that there are people in the world who might understand that part of him that no one in Ohio has ever quite seemed to get.

More than any of them though, what fascinates Kurt the most is Sebastian himself. They’ve been forced to sit at opposite ends of the table from each other, so the pressure to display any of the physical ticks that come with dating is lessened. Conversation is never at a stand still within the group, and if he wanted Kurt could probably pretend that Sebastian didn’t exist at all for a while. Yet all through the meal Kurt catches himself staring across the table at the boy who is suddenly more of an enigma than ever.

Sebastian is, it seems to Kurt, both more and less himself here; or at least the self that Kurt is acquainted with. He is still snide comments and teasing nicknames, he still makes more references to his sex life than Kurt wants to think about, and he still comports himself with a sense of ego and assurity that constantly surprises, irks (and, admittedly, slightly impresses) Kurt. But his edges are somehow softened too. His jokes are fond instead of cruel, his nicknames lack some of the offensive edge he always imbues them with when they’re directed at Kurt. It is very obvious, watching him interact with everyone around him, that Sebastian loves his family and feels confident that they love him in return.

Kurt isn’t sure why he expected it to be different, but knows that somehow he did. He wonders if he will ever be able to look at Sebastian quite the same way after tonight, and if not (probably not, definitely not) if that is a good thing or a dangerous thing. He hasn’t been able to make up his mind by the time they’re finishing their coffee, and he finds himself feeling more nervous about the two hour ride home with the boy across the table than he felt about the entire Smythe family visit.

It was much much easier when Sebastian was just the villain in Kurt’s story. Kurt is not sure how to deal with his own personal demon slowly but surely being humanized right before his eyes.

Kurt is distracted from such dangerous thoughts by a hand on his arm. He turns to see Charlotte smiling at him and can’t help but smile back. He thinks she and Carole would get along splendidly, even though Carole used to wear acid-wash jeans and he’s pretty sure Charlotte has never worn something non-designer in her lifetime.

“Kurt you have to come with us to the club on Sunday,” she says, and he knows that it isn’t just a polite invitation. She genuinely seems to want to include him.

“The club?” he asks, a little confused and stalling for time. He and Sebastian haven’t talked about any future ‘dates’, having just been focused on getting through tonight, and he’s not quite sure what he’s supposed to do here. It is surprisingly difficult to walk the line between fake boyfriend and real boyfriend, and he doesn’t know what Sebastian wants him to say.

“The country club,” Julian explains, rolling his eyes as if such things are the epitome of ‘lame’, but he’s smiling nonetheless. “Brian and Livvie are playing in some couples tournament, and are forcing the entire family to come and cheer them on.”

“Oh, um,” Kurt stutters, looking desperately at Sebastian for some clue as to what he should say. Sebastian is giving him some sort of frantic signal with his eyes but Kurt can’t for the life of him figure out if it means ‘you have to say yes!’ or ‘don’t you dare say yes!’

“Of course Kurt has to come,” Olivia adds, smirking at Sebastian, “He’s practically family now, isn’t he Sebby?”

Sebastian turns his glare on his sister, and that one is much easier to read but it doesn’t help Kurt out at all.

“I don’t know…” he hedges, and Charlotte is already making displeased sounds at that.

“Yes Kurt, you should definitely come,” Sebastian finally speaks up, his tone heavy with more hints that Kurt can’t decipher, “Unless you have other plans?”

It is all mixed signals and more pressure than Kurt wants to deal with. He is desperately wishing that they could rewind to the ease of a few minutes ago, or better yet to this afternoon when he and Sebastian should have taken the time to make a plan for eventualities such as this. Everyone is staring at him, waiting for an answer, and finally he just chooses a path in exasperation.

“Um, ok? I mean, I don’t have other plans…” Kurt begins, trailing off when Sebastian’s glare intensifies. 

Apparently he chose wrong, but that’s hardly his fault, and the damage is done now in either case. He glares back when the family’s attention shifts away, and he’s pretty sure the look he gets from Sebastian is now bordering on murderous. 

Everyone besides Sebastian at least seems pleased with his answer and they’re already discussing times and transport. Kurt drops his eyes to the tablecloth when he’s afraid the anger on his face is too closely mirroring that on Sebastian’s. After all, they are still supposed to be playing boyfriends and he isn’t going to risk his own temper blowing their cover and costing him $10,000. If Sebastian is that unhappy he’s just going to have to suck it up or find an excuse to get Kurt out of going, because there’s nothing Kurt can do about it now.

When Sebastian interrupts the conversation a moment later, his voice is composed and betrays none of the ire he’d been directing at Kurt a moment before. Kurt knows better than to think that means they aren’t going to end up fighting though.

“You all can figure out the details and tell me later. Kurt and I should probably leave soon, so we’re just going to go grab my bag and take off okay?”

The conversation dies down for a brief moment as everyone turns to say their goodbyes to Kurt, who is still puzzling over the bag comment. Sebastian’s dad clears that up for him though.

“Alright boys, drive safe. And Sebastian, try not to overstay your welcome tomorrow with the Hummel’s alright? Burt is a busy man and doesn’t need another teenage boy underfoot. You can always bring Kurt back here if you two can’t stand to be apart,” he admonishes.

Charlotte is adding her own welcome to it, gushing about how very happy she is that Kurt has finally come around and saying she can’t wait to see more of him, but Kurt is frozen by the fact that everyone seems to be assuming Sebastian is spending the night at his house and Sebastian isn’t doing anything to dissuade them of the notion.

When the hell had they agreed to that?

There is no way Kurt is letting Sebastian sleep over, especially with no one but Finn at home. He doesn’t care if it blows their boyfriend act, doesn’t care if it costs him NYADA, he absolutely will not be inviting the boy who has just been glaring at him as if he was the lowest pond scum into his home, not even to sleep on the couch.

He opens his mouth to say just that – perhaps more politely, but still – but Sebastian darts around the table and grips his arm so tightly it is near painful.

“Come on Kurt,” he says, smiling through gritted teeth, “Let’s go get my stuff.”

Kurt finds himself being practically dragged from the room, and it is only years of impeccable manners that allow him to call relatively composed goodbyes even as he’s sure his arm is being bruised terribly.

“What the hell?” he snaps, as soon as they’re out of earshot. They’re moving up a rather grand staircase toward where Kurt assumes Sebastian’s room is on an upper floor.

“I could say the same to you!” Sebastian hisses back, “What were you thinking agreeing to come to the club when I was clearly giving you the signal to politely decline.”

“There was nothing clear about it!” Kurt insists in a furious whisper, “You were giving me random eyebrow wiggles, how was I supposed to know that meant ‘say no’? You’re the one who said I should come!”

“I had to say that!” Sebastian snaps back, “I can’t exactly act like I don’t want to see my boyfriend now can I?”

“What, but I’m supposed to act like I don’t want to see mine?”

Sebastian huffs angrily and glares at Kurt again, very clearly placing all the blame for the whole thing on Kurt’s shoulders.

“Whatever, we’re stuck with it now,” Sebastian says eventually. “I can’t believe I have to see you again in just two days, it was hard enough keeping my appetite through dinner with your pasty face staring at me across the table.”

“You were staring at me too!” Kurt snips, “And it isn’t like I’m thrilled to be wasting more of my weekend with you and your bratty attitude.”

Sebastian squeezes his arm extra tight for that, before finally letting Kurt go.

“You know for someone who claims to not be able to stand me, you sure seem reluctant to leave me alone,” Kurt sulks, rubbing at his aching arm, “You’re the one who started this whole thing in the first place. And you’re the one who’s apparently invited himself over for a sleepover. Which we aren’t having by the way, you can sleep in your car for all I care but you aren’t coming into my house.”

Sebastian just looks at him like he’s being exceptionally stupid which makes Kurt even madder.

“I’m not actually spending the night with you, idiot,” Sebastian scorns, “Like I want to sleep within a hundred feet of you, ugh.”

“Then why the hell are we heading to your room to collect your bag?” Kurt asks.

“Because I’m going out this evening, dumbass. I can’t exactly announce I’m going to hit up the gay clubs in Columbus now can I? I’m supposed to be playing the good, monogamous boyfriend, or have you already forgotten the whole reason we’re in this fucking comedy of errors?”

“So you’re telling your mother you’re spending the night with me so you can go fuck in a dirty bathroom in some club?” Kurt asks, though he doesn’t know why it surprises him. 

Somehow, he supposes, after watching Sebastian interacting with his family all night, he has actually managed to forget just what got Sebastian into the mess that required Kurt to be a fake boyfriend. He’d forgotten that he was dealing with Sebastian Smythe, fucker of randoms.

“You don’t get to judge me,” Sebastian snarls, “This was part of the deal, you covering for me going out. If you’re backing out say something now so I can eviscerate you before we leave.”

“Whatever,” Kurt says. He’s suddenly just tired, and he really couldn’t care less what Sebastian does with his night as long as he takes Kurt home first. “Do whatever you want, I don’t care. Can you just get your stuff so we can go?”

Sebastian glares at him for a moment longer as if expecting Kurt to change his mind and start raining down insults and criticisms. When none are forthcoming he just pushes at Kurt’s shoulder to get him to stop walking.

“Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

He turns without another glance and goes into a door at the end of the upstairs hallway. Kurt is strangely comforted by the fact that Sebastian doesn’t want to let Kurt see his bedroom any more than Kurt would want to let Sebastian see his own. It means that, hard nasty exterior or no, Sebastian has a soft underbelly too and is just as determined to protect it. It’s nice knowing he isn’t the only one with vulnerabilities here.

Kurt leans against the wall with a sigh, not really thinking as much as he’s just existing. It’s been a long couple of days and he hasn’t even really had the chance to come to terms with the rapid change in circumstances. Considering he’s expected at the country club in less than two days now he isn’t likely to get any more downtime either, so he’ll take a moment of silence and peace wherever he can get it; even if that happens to be in an empty hallway in the Smythe household.

Or maybe not so empty.

As lost in a blank state of waiting as Kurt has been, he somehow fails to notice Julian coming up the stairs and advancing on him. By the time he registers the other boy’s presence Julian is barely two feet away and still stepping closer.

“Hi,” he says, smiling predatorily.

“Hello,” Kurt manages to squeak, pressing himself tighter to the wall.

“I have to admit you were a surprise Kurt, did you know?” he asks once he is very clearly standing well inside Kurt’s personal bubble.

“No?” Kurt says, and hates that his voice is a little pitchy and it sounds more like question than statement.

Julian just grins at him, a smile slightly different than Sebastian’s but no less dangerous. He puts a hand on the wall right next to Kurt’s head and leans in closer.

“You’re very pretty, and very polite. My brother doesn’t usually have such good taste.”

Kurt laughs before he can help himself, both because he agrees with the assessment about Sebastian’s taste and because it is clear that Julian is trying to use some combination of seduction and intimidation on him, which at this point in his night is nothing more than amusing to Kurt. He’s watched Sebastian use the exact same techniques on Blaine for months and it is delightful to see where he picked them up from, because the thought of Sebastian imitating his older brother is, well, cute.

Julian leans back a bit as Kurt giggles, looking both amused and affronted that his attempt failed so quickly and completely.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt manages, between giggles, “It’s just painfully obvious that you and Sebastian are brothers right now, and I’ve watched his bad lines flop so often it’s actually rather refreshing to hear them from someone else.”

Julian is grinning in earnest now, and moving back in toward Kurt with a scandalous wiggle of his eyebrows though the air between them is no longer tense, just friendly.

“Damn, that usually works,” he laments, “In my experience people being told they’re pretty tends to flatter them, not make them laugh in my face.”

“Sorry?” Kurt tries, but he’s still smiling too widely for it to be sincere.

“No you aren’t,” Julian smiles back, “I like that. I think I like you Kurt Hummel, you’re different.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says, and this time he really means it. He’s been admiring Julian’s own different-ness all night so it’s quite a compliment as far as he’s concerned.

“And you are very pretty,” Julian adds, “Just because it was a line doesn’t make it any less true.”

Kurt can’t help the blush that heats his cheeks at that. Somehow the matter-of-fact way Julian says it this time affects him more than the sultry purr of it before. With the last few horrible days it is ridiculously pleasing just to have someone say something nice to him.

“Thank you,” he says again, a little more shyly.

Julian’s grin turns a tiny bit wolfish again at Kurt’s tone, but it is still playful. Kurt’s pretty sure he’s about to pull back and head off to his own room any second but he doesn’t get a chance before another body is forcing its way into the narrow space between them.

“What the hell Julian?” Sebastian barks, “You can’t just hit on my boyfriend.”

Kurt is momentarily thrown, both by Sebastian’s sudden close proximity – nearly pressed against his chest and pining him to the wall – and at the frustration evident in Sebastian’s tone, as if he’s actually upset. Which is silly, Kurt knows, because they are just fake boyfriends. Sebastian is just a good actor apparently, and takes his role seriously.

“Relax Seb,” Julian says calmly, “We were just talking.”

“Oh yeah? Do you usually hold conversations with people with your faces less than six inches apart?” Sebastian practically snarls. He’s got a possessive arm winding around Kurt’s waist now and Kurt has never felt more confused.

“You were the one who abandoned him all by his lonesome out here in the hallway,” Julian shrugs, “I was just keeping him company.”

“You were trying to kiss him!” Sebastian accuses, and Kurt finds himself wanting to offer reassurance that that wasn’t the case. The brothers aren’t paying him any attention though, more focused on the staring match they have going on with each other.

“Well somebody should, you certainly haven’t tried to kiss him all night,” Julian mocks. “Not your usual M.O. Sebastian, from what I remember.”

Kurt can feel Sebastian stiffen beside him and feels just as rigid with shock himself. Because he’s pretty sure that was some kind of a dare as far as Sebastian is going to be concerned, and if he knows Sebastian at all, he’s not about to back down from the challenge.

Fuck, Kurt thinks, as if this night wasn’t confusing enough.

He feels more than sees Sebastian turn in toward him, and before he can help it he’s looking up to meet a steely gaze that holds absolutely nothing but determination. That at least is comforting, because he’s pretty sure if there was even a modicum of gentleness or affection in Sebastian’s eyes he wouldn’t be able to handle what comes next.

It is the shortest kiss in the history of kisses, Kurt is pretty sure. In fact he’s not sure if it even qualifies as a kiss so much as a feather-light brushing of lips. Sebastian’s mouth doesn’t move at all against his, and his lips are dry and a little chapped in a way that is different more than anything else Kurt can name. Mostly Kurt is still a little thrown by the fact that he’d had to look up to be kissed instead of down. 

Before he can register more than that Sebastian is pulling back and turning away from him to stare triumphantly at his brother. Kurt might as well be a potted plant for all the care Sebastian seems to have for him, which is in and of itself perhaps comforting too. After all, obviously the whole thing was just posturing and playacting, and Kurt is absolutely not still feeling a phantom brush of lips against his own. Absolutely not.

“Happy?” Sebastian asks, and Julian rolls his eyes but they are both smiling at each other now so Kurt figures the weird tension between them has broken. He’ll have to ask what that was all about later, but right now his mind is too full up with the bizarre night to even form a question let alone ask it.

“I suppose,” Julian sighs, “Even if that was the lamest territory marking I’ve ever seen from you, oh brother-mine.” He looks at Sebastian a little more shrewdly then, as if trying to read something in his little brother that he hadn’t expected to find.

“Maybe though,” he adds slowly after a minute, “That’s a good thing. I’m not sure yet, Seb, but I’m starting to think that maybe this boyfriend thing suits you.”

Sebastian’s glare is back in force, and Kurt wants to roll his eyes and remind Sebastian that they’re only fake boyfriends so he doesn’t have to get so offended at the idea. It isn’t like he’s actually being committed to any one person, so whatever Julian thinks he’s seeing is just part of the act.

Julian turns that ice-blue gaze on Kurt then once again, the same considering look on his face.

“You certainly are different, Kurt Hummel,” he repeats, expression never changing, and then he’s turning and walking away.

Kurt can feel some of the tension bleed out of Sebastian as his brother walks away, but hasn’t the energy to question it, hasn’t in fact the energy to do anything besides push himself off from the wall to start moving toward the staircase.

“Come on,” he says tiredly to Sebastian when the other boy makes no immediate move to follow, “I want to go home now.”

Sebastian shakes himself as if from a trance, and when he looks at Kurt, Kurt can see him rebuilding the snarky exterior. By the time he’s collected his bag from where it had been dropped to the floor it is firmly in place and Kurt feels like they are finally back on familiar ground.

“You didn’t leave any of your lipstick on my face did you?” he snaps at Kurt as he stomps ahead of him down the stairs.

“You didn’t leave any of your herpes on mine, right?” Kurt quips back, and then grins when Sebastian can’t hide the puff of laughter that escapes. This, the banter and insults, this Kurt can deal with.

They don’t see any of the rest of the family on their way out, and Sebastian makes no indication that they should seek them out for additional goodbyes. Kurt is more than happy to slip out the door without having to put the mask back on.

The ride home is mostly silent, both of them brooding over their own thoughts and too tired to even snipe much at each other. It isn’t as awkward as Kurt had feared when they were at the table earlier either, for which he’s grateful. In fact the most stilted part of the whole journey comes when they pull up to his house.

He’s not sure if he should just jump out of the car without a glance back, like he wants too, or if he somehow owes Sebastian pleasantries and goodnights. 

Luckily Sebastian makes things easy by snapping out, “Jeez, Hummel what are you waiting for, a kiss goodnight? Get out of my car already, I need to go get laid and forget I had to spend the whole night pretending to like you.”

“Fuck you, Sebastian,” he spits, though with admittedly less heat than usual.

“No thanks,” Sebastian smirks back, “I think I’ll let someone else do that job.”

“Pig,” Kurt hisses.

“Prude,” Sebastian responds, and they are both grinning at each other like idiots.

Kurt rolls his eyes one more time and then climbs from the car without that backward glance. Sebastian doesn’t even wait for him to get to his front door before he’s pealing out of the driveway, and Kurt is comforted by how very much this not-a-date ended as not-a-date. 

This summer is going to be long enough without blurring the lines between enemies and friends even more.


	5. Chapter 4

The text comes on Saturday evening while Kurt is watching an old James Bond movie with Finn and Puck. They’ve been having a relatively relaxed guy day, something Kurt’s learned to appreciate since becoming Finn’s brother, and it’s only been mildly weird when Puck keeps offering to cuddle with him saying it’ll make Kurt feel better.

Kurt has restrained himself so far.

To Kurt (7:09 pm): Westerville Country Club, tomorrow at 2.

Kurt rolls his eyes, not surprised in the least to find that Sebastian somehow managed to steal his phone long enough to plug in his information last night. He just adds petty larceny and pickpocketing to the list of skills that make Sebastian oh so desirable as a boyfriend.

To Sebastian (7:11 pm): I’m sorry, is that you asking or telling?

To Kurt (7:12 pm): You’re the one who invited yourself along on this thing. Just be there.

Kurt wants to argue about Sebastian’s manners, but Sean Connery is about to be shirtless on screen and that seems much more important than fighting with Sebastian.

To Sebastian (7:13 pm): Fine, are you at least going to give me directions?

The reply comes less than a minute later and makes Kurt grit his teeth.

To Kurt (7:13 pm): I’m sorry, did I give you the impression that I was Google-fucking-Maps? Figure it out, or you can be the one to explain to my family that you were too stupid to even find a building in Ohio without someone to hold your hand.

“Dude who are you texting?” Puck asks, leaning over to try and peek at the screen of the phone over his shoulder, “You look like you’re about to kill something. It isn’t Blaine is it?”

“No, it’s no one,” Kurt says, quickly dropping the phone back into his lap so Puck won’t see Sebastian’s name.

“Whatever you say man, but your face looks like mine did when Quinn used to bitch at me all the time,” Puck insists, still looking appraisingly at Kurt. 

Kurt shrugs off the look, “It’s fine, Puck. Really it’s nothing.”

“Okay,” Puck says eventually, voice still heavy with disbelief. “You wanna cuddle now?”

Kurt is saved from having to answer that question yet again by Finn who is shushing them. “Guys, shut up already – Connery’s about to totally fuck this dude up!”

Puck looks disgruntled at being cuddle-blocked, but nevertheless leaves Kurt be. They all watch the rest of the movie in silence, except for a few cheers and sympathetic winces when Bond gets a good hit in and takes one or two himself. Kurt sits on his hands to keep himself from texting anything vile to Sebastian, because he is sorely tempted.

By the time the movie is over Puck and Finn have started debating whether it is too much to ask for extra sausage on a meat lover’s pizza (so many jokes, so little time Kurt thinks, and hates that he can picture Sebastian laughing at that.) In any case, Kurt is certainly not going to start debating the merits of extra sausage with the boys (Puck will catch on to the implied innuendo eventually, and then Kurt will feel really uncomfortable with the cuddle offers) so he excuses himself and dashes up to the relative peace of his bedroom.

He’s been trying to avoid hanging out in his room more than necessary since Blaine left, mostly because even innocently listening to music and flipping through magazines makes him feel nostalgic and then mopey. He’s already done a vicious round up of anything directly Blaine-related, gathering pictures and mementos into several boxes which are shoved at the back of his closet. He’ll unpack them when Blaine comes back in August, but for now it’s too painful to be surrounded by reminders.

He’s just started brooding over the weird empty spaces where everything once sat, somehow just as painful as the things themselves, when his phone chimes again.

To Kurt (8:33 pm): I’m taking your silence as agreement that you’ll show up, though I suppose you may still be trying to figure out how to use the computer. I know they didn’t teach you many life skills in public school.

Kurt glares, sufficiently distracted from one foul mood with another.

To Sebastian (8:35 pm): I’m surprised you know that a computer can be used for more than porn and trolling Craigslist.

To Kurt (8:36 pm): At least I don’t use it to post my poorly written Twilight fanfic. TaysAbs4ever Kurt? Really?

Kurt feels all the blood drain from his face. There is only one way that Sebastian knows that, because there is only one other person in the entire world who knows his screen name. He is going to murder Rachel Berry just as soon as he figures out why she was talking to Sebastian about his fanfic in the first place. And it’s not poorly written, thankyouverymuch.

He shoots her a quick text with thinly veiled threats against her person if she doesn’t explain herself immediately, but he has a larger problem in that Sebastian is still in need of a response and the longer he leaves it the worse it looks for him. He doesn’t even consider denying it, because he knows it will only make him look like he’s ashamed or something and he’s not. His NC-17 fics have been met with near critical acclaim on Tumblr. He didn’t get 1,400 followers by posting garbage.

To Sebastian (8:41 pm): Stalking me now Sebastian? Really, you keep saying you can’t stand me but I’m thinking it seems an awful lot like a case of ‘the lady doth protest too much’.

When it takes nearly 6 minutes for a response to come back Kurt figures he’s at least held his own.

To Kurt (8:47 pm): The only lady in this relationship is you.

To Sebastian (8:48 pm): Relationship? Really? I’m flattered Sebastian, but I’m just not sure I’m ready to make that kind of commitment.

To Kurt (8:49 pm): Fuck You.

Kurt laughs out loud at that, grinning at his phone before he catches himself and schools his features back into a scowl. Before he can respond another text window pops up with a response from Rachel.

To Kurt (8:50 pm): I’m sorry! He cornered me after regionals, said he wanted to apologize again for the photoshopped pictures of Finn. We were just talking and he mentioned he was on Team Jacob. How could I not brag about you?

Kurt wants to be angry with her, wants to be able to rip her apart for sharing something so intensely private, but knows that is just how Rachel is. She will never completely understand that her actions – based so much in a good, if misguided, heart – could be harmful. Plus, he’s kind of busy being unnerved by the thought that Sebastian has had this information for nearly four months and is just now getting around to using it against him.

He wonders if Sebastian has actually been reading his fic all this time. If so, he really wants to know what he thought of the tent scene rewrite he posted last month, the one that turned into a fuck-or-die threesome of which he was particularly fond. He takes a certain amount of pride in being able to write decent het as a gay male (not that Edward and Jacob hadn’t explored some of their own homoerotic subtext…)

But he’s getting off track, not to mention he’s appalled to realize that he’s considering actually discussing his most secret scribblings with Sebastian of all people. (Which doesn’t mean he isn’t stalking the blogs of every single one of his followers tonight though, trying to determine if one of them is his nemesis-cum-fake-boyfriend in disguise.)

To Rachel (8:53 pm): It’s fine, you’re forgiven. I should know better than to share something with you if I don’t want it to get out eventually.

To Kurt (8:54 pm): I’m not that bad! :( 

To Rachel (8:55 pm): Yes you are, but I love you anyway.

To Kurt (8:57 pm): <3 u 2.

To Kurt (8:57 pm): What are you doing talking to Sebastian anyway?

To Rachel (9:00 pm): It’s nothing. Just ran into him over coffee, no big deal.

To Kurt (9:02 pm): Do you want to talk about it?

He does and he doesn’t, and his own thoughts are too confusing to even think about sharing them with Rachel, who will just spin them into an even more dramatic tale for Finn. He loves her, but he knows her too. If he confides in her at all then by this time tomorrow Finn will be thinking that Sebastian personally stole his NYADA money and then tried to force Kurt to perform sexual favors in return for giving it back.

To Rachel (9:04 pm): No, I’m good, thank you though. I’ll talk to you later, Finn and Puck need my input on a sixth type of meat product for the pizza.

This last isn’t strictly true, but it has the desired effect. Rachel texts him a sick-face smiley and then leaves him be.

He’s thinking about heading back downstairs to make sure Finn remembers to order a veggie pizza for him when his phone chimes once more.

To Kurt (9:07 pm): Look, will you just tell me if you’re going to be there or not? My mom won’t stop harassing me to confirm with you.

Kurt smiles, picturing Charlotte nagging her son, and is tempted to leave Sebastian hanging just to torture him. But he can’t bring himself to be quite that mean for some reason.

To Sebastian (9:08 pm): I’ll be there with bells on.

To Kurt (9:09 pm): The scary thing is I’m not sure if you mean that or if you’re just using the expression.

Kurt is still grinning when he types out his reply. Let Sebastian worry about his potential fashion choices.

To Sebastian (9:09 pm): I’ll see you tomorrow Sebastian.

He’s standing to leave his room when the final text of the night comes through, and he’s grinning so much that he doesn’t give any of the empty spaces around the room a second thought as he closes the door behind him to go back downstairs.

To Kurt (9:12 pm): See you tomorrow Kurt. Please leave the bells at home though okay?

*****

In the end he can’t help himself, and strings a few small jingle bells onto a safety pin, which he attaches to the side of his shirt. He makes sure to put an extra skip in his step when he enters the club and sees Sebastian facing away from him, causing the bells to jingle loudly. Sebastian turns around with wide eyes, though his expression shifts to a nearly-fond smile when he sees Kurt’s just got the one little pin on as a joke.

 

“Very funny,” he says, and Kurt grins up at him.

“I thought so.”

Sebastian looks like he’s about to say more, but Kurt is suddenly being accosted from two sides. He’s pretty sure the look he’s giving Sebastian is vaguely terrified, but really what would you expect from someone currently in the middle of a Julian and Olivia sandwich?

“Kurt you came!” Olivia squeals in his ear, “Sebastian made it sound like you might flake out on us.”

Kurt arches an eyebrow at Sebastian who just smirks and shrugs at him. “What? I had to tell Livvie about your flighty behavior when I ran into her at that bar in Columbus last night, you know the one you were supposed to meet me at for our date? I was so disappointed when you never showed up babe.”

Kurt smiles tightly back. So that’s what this is about, Sebastian got caught on the prowl last night and used Kurt as an excuse. As much as he hates it, covering for Sebastian is what he signed up for, but he’s not going to let the Smythe’s think he’s a ditz in the process. And he’s not going to let the ‘babe’ thing slip either.

“I told you sweetheart,” he says back, voice sickeningly sweet, “I had a family emergency. I never would have left you all by your lonesome in a big scary bar, you know that.”

“Yeah because we all know it only takes a few drinks to turn Seb here into the Whore of Babylon,” Julian interjects, earning a glare of his own. “Good thing Liv was there to keep you in line, huh baby brother?”

Kurt’s smile widens at that, and not just because Sebastian is looking near-murderous at his brother’s insult. It’s also because Julian has inadvertently told him that Sebastian was totally cockblocked by his sister last night, which improves his own day greatly mostly because he’s sure it ruined Sebastian’s evening.

“You know I’m not doing that anymore Jules,” Sebastian grinds out between gritted teeth, “I’m with Kurt now.”

“Of course you are,” Olivia interjects, “Stop being mean Julian, especially when Kurt is standing right here looking even more lovely than the other night. Not even Sebastian could cheat on someone this gorgeous.”

Kurt blushes only a little, more from the leer Julian turns on him than from the compliment from Olivia. He gives her a small smile though, which she returns.

Sebastian looks even more frustrated than before and is alternating glaring at all three of them, though he looks particularly hard at Julian who is still looking at Kurt.

“I hate you all,” he finally says, though there is no real venom in his words. “C’mon Kurt, we’ve got an hour before my annoying sister hits the courts and I don’t want to spend it with them.”

Sebastian grabs Kurt’s arm again (they are really going to have to talk about the fact that Kurt bruises easily at some point, because even he doesn’t want to wear long-sleeved shirts all summer long) and drags him away from where his siblings are still grinning at him like he’s being particularly cute.

“I recommend cabana number three!” Julian calls after them, “Best lounge chairs for fucking on, nice and sturdy!”

“Or if you’re feeling adventurous you could go out to the 12th hole on the golf course,” Olivia adds, “Exhibitionism is always a fun kink!”

Kurt is blushing furiously and even Sebastian looks a little uncomfortable with the loud commentary, which is saying something.

“Seriously fuck you both,” he yells back, tugging harder on Kurt’s arm and causing him to stumble. Kurt glares when Sebastian just huffs impatiently at the delay.

“No thanks, you aren’t my type, but I’d let Kurt do it,” Julian volleys back and Kurt watches in fascination as Sebastian’s expression turns nearly apoplectic.

Sebastian drops Kurt’s arm and marches back over, pushing right up into his brother’s space to jab a sharp finger into his chest.

“He is mine,” Sebastian hisses, “Mine. Don’t forget that.”

Kurt feels so very confused.

Julian throws his arms up in a calming gesture, “I’m just teasing Seb, god.”

“You are never just teasing Julian,” Sebastian returns, “Don’t forget I know you too.”

Julian’s face shifts from the cool, aloof lines to a nearly apologetic expression and he looks at his little brother almost softly. “Sebby…”

“Don’t,” Sebastian sighs, not sounding mad anymore, just tired, “I know Jules, but just don’t right now okay?”

Julian nods and steps back to give Sebastian more room. Olivia slips an arm around her older brother’s waist and looks at them both as if she wants to fix something that Kurt didn’t even realize was broken.

Sebastian looks at them both and by the time he turns to walk back to Kurt all traces of vulnerability and anger have been wiped from his face, leaving him looking nearly blank. Still, when he reaches Kurt he slings an arm around Kurt’s shoulders and tugs him in close to his side. Kurt fights the urge to stiffen up under the gesture, and not just because it’s part of the act. There’s also a little voice in his mind telling him that for whatever reason Sebastian needs this right now, needs to be able to somehow claim Kurt as his own – as curious as the thought is.

They don’t speak, and Kurt let’s himself be led through the clubhouse toward a large set of glass doors near the back of the lobby. Even once they are out of sight from Olivia and Julian, Sebastian keeps Kurt tucked in tight next to him. Kurt is afraid to say anything and upset whatever precarious balance they are holding right now. 

When they start walking by a large swimming pool, filled with bored housewives ad posturing teens (Kurt thinks he sees Wes near the diving board, and is glad when he isn’t recognized in return) Sebastian finally seems to shake himself from his funk. He drops his arm and takes a full step sideways to put some distance between his body and Kurt’s.

“You want to tell me what that was about?” Kurt asks when he can’t stand the silence any longer. He tries to keep his voice calm and doesn’t fill it with any of the accusation or panic running through his mind at the thought that Sebastian had called him ‘mine’.

“What was what about?” Sebastian says nonchalantly, as if Kurt’s crazy.

“That little posturing display back there! Since when am I ‘yours’ Sebastian? You seem to be pushing this whole fake-boyfriend thing a little far.”

Sebastian clenches his jaw and Kurt doesn’t think he’s going to answer for a very long minute. But he does, though his answer doesn’t exactly clear anything up.

“It’s not about you,” Sebastian asserts, and the look he gives Kurt is so fucking dismissive that Kurt has no trouble believing him. “Julian just has a bad habit of poaching, and I’m tired of it. It could have been anybody, believe me you aren’t anything special.”

Kurt really hates that Sebastian seems to have a knack for throwing his biggest insecurities in his face. What’s almost worse is that he doesn’t even seem to know when he’s doing it, as if he cares so little about Kurt that he doesn’t even give enough of a damn to purposely make his words hurtful. At least when Sebastian is insulting him on purpose Kurt knows it is about him. 

He really hates being an outlet for other people’s issues.

“So it’s just, what, some territorial brother thing?” Kurt asks disbelievingly once he’s tamped down the sting from the words ‘you aren’t anything special’.

“Something like that,” Sebastian hums in confirmation, letting his eyes flit over to the outdoor tennis courts and then sweep back over the pool. He’s looking everywhere but at Kurt, and Kurt just knows there’s more to the story than this. He also knows he’s not going to get any more of that story here, standing in the sunshine surrounded by Ohio’s elite.

“Fine, whatever,” Kurt sighs, “Just try to watch it with the aggressiveness would you? I still have finger-shaped bruises on my arm from Friday.”

Sebastian looks startled at the information, and one of his hands reaches automatically for Kurt’s sleeve, as if to push it back and look for himself. He drops the hand before it reaches Kurt though, shoves both of his hands in the pockets of his shorts instead. He won’t meet Kurt’s eye again, and his face looks a little remorseful, which Kurt figures is the closest thing to an apology he is likely to get.

The best thing to do right now would be to find a place to hide out for the next half hour (maybe cabana number three wouldn’t be such a bad choice after all). They won’t have to put on the act, and Kurt won’t have to worry about running into any of his old Dalton acquaintances – who would be sure to have quite a few questions about what he was doing here with Sebastian. And maybe, just maybe, he can get Sebastian to finally fucking talk to him. Sebastian doesn’t seem to even be paying attention to where they’re standing though, still lost somewhere in his own head, so Kurt figures it’s up to him to figure out where they’re going.

“Come on,” he says, grabbing Sebastian’s arm for once. “I’m not standing in the sun next to all this chlorine for the next hour until your sister’s tournament starts. Let’s go find a place to sit. Maybe we can grab one of the cabanas.”

He knows he shouldn’t have said that last part as soon as it is out of his mouth, knows that he has just opened himself up to Sebastian’s sex jokes. Sure enough the leer is back in full force and Sebastian’s eyes are sparkling once again. He looks like what Kurt imagines the sprite Puck from A Midsummer Night’s Dream to look like, all wild mischief and tempting bad decisions, and Kurt suddenly doesn’t care at all that he’s about to be teased. It is worth it to see Sebastian looking himself again.

“Lord what fools these mortals be,” he mumbles to himself, too quiet for Sebastian to hear. 

“A cabana Kurt?” Sebastian is saying, unaware of Kurt’s thoughts and whisper, “You aren’t really my type, but considering I didn’t get any last night I suppose I could make an exception just this once.”

“Bite me Sebastian,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes.

“No, I don’t think I will. But since you’re obviously gagging for it I will let you blow me. As long as I don’t look down I suppose I’ll be able to take one for the team. I wonder if I can count it as giving to charity on my taxes…” 

Sebastian is smirking at him, his entire aura just daring Kurt to push back. Kurt is happy to oblige.

“You are such a-“

“Sebastian!” A voice calls across the pool and interrupts Kurt from building up a head of steam. “Hey Sebastian!”

They both turn to see a tall, strawberry blonde boy wearing the uniform of the club staff jogging around the pool toward them.

A very familiar boy.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Kurt groans as Jeremiah gets closer.

Sebastian shoots him a questioning look but doesn’t have a chance to say anything before Jeremiah has closed the last of the distance, coming to a stop much too close to Sebastian as far as Kurt is concerned.

It isn’t that he cares if Sebastian is fucking someone else, because they aren’t really dating, but he does care if Sebastian flaunts his fucks while he’s standing next to Kurt who, for all appearances and as far as Jeremiah should be able to tell, is his boyfriend. He also kind of cares because it is Junior-fucking-Manager Jeremiah and Kurt is probably always pretty much going to hate that guy.

“Hey,” Jeremiah says to Sebastian, his voice low and coy as he bats his eyelashes up at the boy. Kurt guesses he’s come out since their last encounter.

“Hi,” Sebastian says back, looking mostly amused. He doesn’t step back though, or make any move to put more space between them, and that just irks Kurt to no end.

“Oh hi,” Jeremiah says to him, finally tearing his eyes from Sebastian to give Kurt a dismissive once over. His eyes narrow for a moment when they reach Kurt’s face as if he’s trying to place him. “Do we know each other? You look familiar.”

“Not really, no,” Kurt smirks back, “Nice hair.”

Sebastian can obviously hear the sarcasm because he smiles hugely at Kurt as if they are sharing in the joke, but Jeremiah takes it at face value.

“Thanks,” he says, before turning to focus all his attention back on Sebastian.

Sebastian, who is still smiling at Kurt.

This doesn’t seem to sit too well with Jeremiah, who steps even closer and brings one hand up to rest against Sebastian’s chest.

“You haven’t been around the club for awhile,” he croons, “I’ve missed you.” His words successfully regain Sebastian’s attention, though Sebastian isn’t looking as blatantly interested as Kurt expected him too.

“Been busy,” Sebastian says dismissively, “The club’s not really my thing.”

“Really?” Jeremiah purrs, “Because last time you were here I could’ve sworn we found a couple activities that were most definitely your thing.”

Sebastian’s smile turns smug at that, and Kurt is suddenly understanding a little better what he imagines Sebastian felt when Julian was hitting on him. Because he may not be dating Sebastian, but Jeremiah is just being rude.

“His tastes have since improved,” Kurt cuts in, making both boys startle.

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name,” Jeremiah hisses at him, glaring at him in open challenge. 

Kurt hates the little gleeful look on Sebastian’s face as he watches the drama unfold, but he can’t make himself back down.

“I didn’t give it,” he says as dismissively as he can manage. “I don’t make a habit of introducing myself to people that no longer matter. All you need to know is that he,” Kurt cocks his thumb at Sebastian, “knows my name well enough to be screaming it on a daily basis.”

Sebastian laughs delightedly at that and slings an arm around Kurt’s shoulders. 

“Down darling, no need to attack the help,” he murmurs just loud enough to be sure both boys have heard.

Kurt wants to snap at Sebastian for calling him darling, wants to snap at him for ever having the bad taste to fuck someone like Jeremiah, but one battle at a time. If the look Jeremiah is giving him is any indication his current fight isn’t quite over yet.

“Sebastian, come on baby,” Jeremiah tries again, though his voice is a little whiny now, “I bet he can’t give you everything I did. I mean just look at him.”

Jeremiah is looking at him like he’s laughable, and Sebastian is turning to him with an appraising eye, but Kurt isn’t about to sit around and be judged. He is tired of people underestimating him, and he is tired of being considered unsexy, and he is very very tired of Jeremiah.

“Look at this,” he growls, and grabs onto Sebastian’s collar with two hands to haul him in, ignoring the twin looks of surprise on the other boys’ faces.

Their lips crash together with more force than finesse, but Kurt isn’t a baby penguin any longer – hasn’t been for a long time. He may not be porn star levels of sexual yet, but he sure as fuck knows how to kiss.

He puts all his hours of skill sharpening into it now, softening his mouth against Sebastian’s just a little so that their lips are sliding against each other instead of smashing. He lets their mouths work together for a moment, and then he tugs Sebastian’s lower lip into his own mouth and between his teeth, suckling and nibbling at it gently. Sebastian’s mouth drops open automatically in surprise, and it seems it’s all he can do to just keep up with Kurt as he gets over the shock of being kissed.

It doesn’t take long before he’s giving back as good as he gets though, parting his lips to let his tongue taste along Kurt’s upper lip in a wet, feather soft glide. Kurt can’t help the little breathy gasp that escapes him as he opens up wider, welcoming Sebastian’s tongue more fully into his mouth. He strokes his own up and along it, and the touch is near electric and so much different than kissing Blaine has ever been.

Sebastian kisses with a technical skill that is impressive, but more than that Kurt can almost sense something wild lurking just underneath the surface. He’s tempted to try and bring that reigned in power out into the light, pulling it out of Sebastian with lips and tongue and teeth. He barely manages to restrain himself, remembering that they are standing next to a pool in a stuffy country club in Ohio after all.

He can’t stop himself from pressing back into the kiss a little though. His hands loosen from where they’ve been tightly fisted in Sebastian’s shirt, and he slides them up and over strong shoulders to dig into Sebastian’s back and force him closer. Sebastian lets out a little strangled sound of his own at that, practically fucking his tongue into Kurt’s mouth now that it is open and willing.

Kurt feels flushed all over, knows there are a million reasons why he shouldn’t be doing this, but he can’t for the life of him think of one good enough to make him stop. He has no idea how long they stand there, pressed together and mouths meeting over and over again in a wet delicious slide of heat, but eventually they both pull back, breathing heavy.

Sebastian’s eyes are dark and questioning as they rest heavily on him, and Kurt’s sure he must be flushed from their entanglement. Sebastian is looking at him like he’s trying to figure something out, and he opens his mouth to say something but they are interrupted once again by Jeremiah, who is now clearing his throat pointedly.

“Get lost Jedidiah,” Sebastian says, never looking away from Kurt’s face.

“It’s Jeremiah,” the other boy grumps.

“Do I look like I fucking care? I said get lost,” Sebastian growls, finally turning from Kurt to glare at the other boy.

Jeremiah opens his mouth as if to argue and then thinks better of it. He gives Kurt one last nasty look before storming off, but Kurt can’t really be bothered by it. He’s too busy clawing himself out of the fog of the last few moments.

“Kurt,” Sebastian says, looking at him again, “What the fuck was that?”

“What was what?” Kurt tries innocently, parroting Sebastian’s earlier words back to him. Sebastian rolls his eyes, but Kurt is relieved that it seems to have lifted some of the heavy tension from between them.

“Seriously? You’re going to pretend like you didn’t just try to suck my face off?”

“Oh honey, I think you were the one almost attacking me. I may have kissed you first, but what you were doing was definitely not kissing back. It was like getting mauled by an overenthusiastic Labrador.”

Sebastian looks so offended that Kurt can’t stop himself from laughing.

“I can’t believe you just insulted my kissing skills. I’m an awesome kisser,” Sebastian grumps, “I’m so good I come with references!”

“And ew, thank you for that,” Kurt responds, “I now need to find the strongest mouthwash money can buy. Or maybe whiskey, whiskey might work.”

Sebastian laughs and shoves him back around the pool toward the small outdoor bar.

“Whiskey I can do, but only if you admit I’m a good kisser.”

Kurt gives him a long once over, smirking when Sebastian fidgets just a little under his gaze. “Adequate, “ he says finally, “I’ll give you adequate.”

“You’re such a bitch,” Sebastian complains fondly.

“So I’ve been told,” Kurt says drily.

He lets Sebastian order for them, isn’t even surprised that the bartender hands over two tumblers of amber liquid without batting an eye. He’s not sure when he decided that drinking was a good idea, but it is a day not to back down from challenges apparently so he sips at it gamely.

When the liquid burns down his throat he can’t stop the face he pulls though, which makes Sebastian laugh. “You sure you don’t want to stick with Shirley Temples princess?”

“No, this is fine,” Kurt manages, his voice a little raspy from the burn. He takes another sip and manages to swallow without grimacing. Much.

Sebastian is still grinning at him but doesn’t argue further. He downs his own drink in one go, and gestures for the bartender to fill his glass again. When that’s done he picks it up and starts to steer Kurt back inside.

“Liv’s tournament is gonna be starting soon we should go get seats.”

“Yeah, okay,” Kurt agrees distractedly. He’s still trying to process the last few minutes in his mind.

They find seats easily, settling down in front of the indoor court next to Sebastian’s parents. When Julian wanders in a few minutes later he hesitates and then takes the seat next to his father, on the opposite side from Sebastian and Kurt. He gives them a small smile though, and Kurt finds himself glad to see Sebastian returning it.

They may not really be dating, and he may only have the summer with the Smythes, but he already finds himself caring whether they all get along. It is a very slippery slope, but he’s not sure how to find a handhold to drag himself back up at this point.

The match starts and for a while they sit quietly, eyes tracking back and forth as the ball gets spiked and volleyed back and forth. They all clap politely when one team scores a point, and Kurt giggles when Olivia and Brian win their first match causing the entire Smythe clan to jump up, cheering and whooping obnoxiously. They get some glares from other club members for the outburst, but no one says anything and Kurt is secretly glad that he’s sitting with the one group that doesn’t seem like automatons.

They’re half way through the second match of three when Sebastian leans in a little closer to whisper in his ear.

“So is that something we’re doing now? Kissing?”

Kurt’s stomach drops, and he feels so paralyzed by the question that he can’t even sort his own emotions. He has no idea what to say, doesn’t even really know if he could say something if he wanted too.

“Are you saying you want to kiss me?” he manages to ask, looking at Sebastian nervously.

“No,” Sebastian says immediately, “Most definitely not. I’m mostly trying to figure out if you mauling my face is something I ought to be prepared for.”

Kurt returns the glare and feels his stomach and heart returning to their normal places in his body at the familiarity of the scorn between them.

“I only kissed you because I hate that guy,” he hisses back, “It had nothing to do with you.”

Sebastian arches an eyebrow at him like he doesn’t believe him, but Kurt just sneers.

“Fine, good,” Sebastian says finally, “Because it definitely wasn’t in the deal. If you’re going to be doing shit like that often I’m going to want to renegotiate the contract, because you would definitely be getting the better end of the deal.”

“Your ego is shamefully overinflated,” Kurt snips, letting disgust layer his tone. “Believe me, I’m not getting the better end of anything from you.”

Sebastian laughs loudly at that and gets shushed by half a dozen people for the noise. He quiets down quickly but keeps grinning at Kurt.

“Okay princess, as long as we’re on the same page here,” he whispers. “Wouldn’t want you to get confused by the boyfriend act and start thinking it’s real.”

“Thanks for the concern,” Kurt whispers back, “But I’m perfectly aware of where we stand. The only thing I’m in danger of is committing homicide before the summer is over because I can’t stand your stupid face any longer.”

“There’s my boy,” Sebastian teases, eyes flinty and amused.

“I’m not your anything,” Kurt hisses.

“You’ll be just my summer boyfriend,” Sebastian sings lowly under his breath.

Kurt cannot believe Lady Gaga has somehow been turned against him. It feels like a betrayal, and worst he can’t stop humming the chorus for the rest of the day. 

Sebastian, the rat bastard, seems infinitely amused.

*****

Bonus Song: The song Sebastian sings at the end is Summerboy by Lady Gaga http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwbVsEbp1dQ


	6. Chapter 5

Also this story has some lovely art now! So many talented people in this fandom, seriously. Thank you so much!

http://zucchan.tumblr.com/post/19591262525/title-a-change-in-the-weather-author

http://darrencrisser.tumblr.com/post/19422265259/the-summer-before-college-kurt-is-shocked-when

*****

Kurt hasn’t been sleeping well for the past few nights.

Technically, he hasn’t been sleeping very well since the beginning of May when his world started falling apart, but it’s been worse this last week. If he’s being honest, and he is in that middle-of-the-night-can’t-sleep kind of way, he hasn’t slept very well since one event in particular. Since the kiss.

It’s all Jeremiah’s fault.

Okay, really it’s probably his fault, maybe a little bit Sebastian’s fault, but Kurt likes being able to blame it on Jeremiah – he still really doesn’t like that guy.

The problem is Kurt can’t stop thinking about it, and yet he has no better grasp on how he feels about the entire thing now – at nearly two o’clock in the morning on what is now technically Thursday – than he did in those initial seconds directly after.

There are too many things all tied up in it, and not all of them are separable. He’s still dealing with the shock of it, for one. Part of that is surprise at himself for being the one to initiate it, and for being so easily riled up by someone who should be so far in his past as to not even matter any more. Another part is the unexpected way in which kissing Sebastian was…not vile. (Maybe it was more than that, he knows, but even two-in-the-morning-truthiness only goes so far.) So there is shock at himself for both starting it and for not not-enjoying it.

There is also the complicated Blaine of it all. The truth is most of what got Kurt so angry in the first place that day by the pool was that it was Jeremiah, who is a sore point for Kurt in his and Blaine’s history. Even his jealousy and aggressive reaction were, weirdly, more about he and Blaine than they were about Sebastian or their fake relationship. So before he even gets to his feelings about kissing Sebastian while still in love with Blaine, the situation is already about Blaine more than Kurt feels comfortable with.

Then there is the kiss itself. Kurt knows it wasn’t cheating, because he knows better than anyone that he and Blaine aren’t dating right now. But it still feels a little like cheating, in his heart. When Kurt thinks about what he wants, it still all comes down to just counting the days until August 28th when Blaine comes back to him, and kissing other boys in the interim was definitely never meant to be part of Kurt’s plan. 

He knows Blaine won’t have any right to criticize him for it, just like he knows he wouldn’t be able to criticize Blaine for anything that happens in San Francisco. But he also knows that the thought of Blaine kissing someone else (his Blaine Kurt’s masochistic heart wants to insist) pretty much makes him feel like he’s being torn apart. So even though his mind knows he can do whatever he wants, his irrational emotions won’t let him be at peace with it.

Then, finally, there is Sebastian himself; and this might be the most tangled and perplexing part of it all.

It is unexpected, the way in which Sebastian hasn’t used the kiss against him since it happened. In fact, after their little courtside chat at the country club Sebastian hasn’t said a word about it at all; not to tease, not to preen, not even as innuendo. Which is, again, bewildering. Kurt always figured that Sebastian would be the guy who either pushed for more or laughed at you for trying in the first place. The fact that he’s let it go as just a passing circumstance is both extremely relieving and ridiculously frustrating. Because as much as Kurt really doesn’t want to talk about it, he also kind of really does.

He supposes it might be a personality trait of his own, (but strongly suspects it is something he just became accustomed to through his relationship with Blaine), but Kurt is discovering that he’s become used to near constant communication with the person he’s in a relationship (real or otherwise) with – and he and Sebastian are absolutely not communicators, with each other at least.

Kurt wants to know what Sebastian is thinking about all of this (is he even thinking about this?). He wants to talk about why it happened, wants to explain to Sebastian all the history and complication behind it, but he knows Sebastian probably wouldn’t care or even want to listen. He also knows that as much as he may want to know Sebastian’s thoughts, he still feels unwilling to actually share his own. It would make him vulnerable, and perhaps the only thing that might trump Kurt’s desire to communicate is his desire to not ever make himself vulnerable to anyone. Especially Sebastian.

But there is still a small, perverse part of him that almost wishes Sebastian would be the one to force a conversation, because Kurt kind of also really wants to know if Sebastian thought he was a good kisser. Of course there is no way he’s ever going to ask that. Sebastian may not have ridiculed him for the kiss itself, but he would never let Kurt live it down if Kurt asked him for a critique of his technique.

So Kurt isn’t going to ask or say any of the million things in his head because, as he frequently reminds himself, this is Sebastian Smythe and they aren’t even really friends, let alone friends who talk about kissing. It’s just the weird immediacy and forced intimacy of this situation they are in, the immersion of himself into the Smythe family and all their siren-song allure, which is confusing him and making him think about it all more than he should.

Ultimately, the worst part is that Kurt couldn’t talk about it and make a fool of himself even if he wanted to, because he and Sebastian haven’t had a single conversation in nearly 10 days – even in text – since they parted ways at the club that Sunday. Not a call about dinner with the family, not a request for Kurt to cover for him some evening, not even a heads up about an upcoming event. The last thing Sebastian said to him was ‘I’ll call you’ and Kurt is beginning to wonder if he shouldn’t have asked ‘when?’

Kurt hates that he’s now at the point where not hearing from Sebastian is what’s bothering him.

In fact he’d been so desperate to talk about the whole messed up situation that this afternoon he’d made the mistake of texting Blaine again.

It hadn’t been a confession or anything (how to even put that into 160 characters or less? ‘Kissed a guy I think I hate, but it was mostly about you and misplaced jealousy over past crushes mixed with fear that you’re finding someone better, still <3 u’ ? Yeah, how about no). In the end the message he sent had just been three little words, and not even the ones he really wanted to say.

To Blaine (2:43 pm): I miss you.

Blaine hasn’t answered. Kurt isn’t sure how he feels about that either. 

It hurts, obviously, but what is almost worse is that a tiny little part of him isn’t surprised. Not because Blaine is a cruel person, not because he thinks Blaine wouldn’t come running if something was really very wrong, but because he knows Blaine honestly thinks that total communication blackout for the summer is what will be best for them in the long run. He thinks he’s saving Kurt from any potential future heartbreak by testing things before they have a chance to get hard. And Blaine can be so so obtuse when he thinks he’s doing what’s best, especially when it comes to Kurt. 

Kurt wants to hate him for that sometimes, but he never can. Because, like with Rachel, Blaine’s actions tend to be influenced by a misguided but ultimately kind heart, and it seems to be Kurt’s lot in life to love all kinds of misguided, kind people.

Sometimes though, just sometimes, Kurt wishes that Blaine wouldn’t feel the need to love him so carefully. Blaine is always trying to ‘do what’s best’, to protect Kurt and them from any potential hurts or pitfalls. Sometimes, just sometimes, what Kurt really wants is to be loved in a messy, complicated, wild, passionate way instead – potential for greater heartache in the end and all.

These are all the things that Kurt is still thinking about at two o’clock in the morning on what is now technically Thursday. So he is anything but dead asleep when his phone rings.

His first panicked thought is that something has happened to his dad, who’s driving home from D.C. with Carole even now, and he fumbles for the phone as his heart tries to beat its way out of his chest.

“Hello?” he says, voice breathless and pitchy with worry when he finally manages to tap the screen to answer and get the damn thing to his ear.

“Kurt, oh good, are you home?” Sebastian’s voice greets him from the other end and Kurt nearly faints from relief before he remembers that it is two o’clock in the morning and Sebastian somehow thought now, after ten days with nary a peep, it’d be a good time for a chat.

“Sebastian?” he asks, voice layered with disbelief and a little frustration, “Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?”

He can hear laughter in the background, a tinny chatter of other voices and white noise that he’s pretty sure means Sebastian is in a car on the road.

“Are you home?” Sebastian repeats, and his voice is just a little slurry. Kurt’s pretty sure he’s drunk.

“Are you driving?” he demands immediately, “Sebastian please tell me you did not call me while you’re driving drunk.”

“Nope not driving,” Sebastian says and there is a little bit of laughter in his voice, “It’s cute that you’re worried though.”

“I’m not worried about you,” Kurt insists, “I’m worried about all the potential innocent victims on the road with you. I’ve seen you drive sober, which was bad enough what with you pushing at least 20 over the speed limit at all times and-“

“Calm down killer,” Sebastian cuts him off, “Just tell me you’re home okay? I’m looking at an ETA of five minutes here, and I really need you to be there. You can bitch at me all you want as long as you’re home when I get there.”

Kurt wants to balk at the nickname, wants to bitch about how rude it is to cut someone off when they’re speaking, wants to ask what the hell is going on, but for some reason all he manages is, “Of course I’m home, it’s two in the morning.”

Sebastian really does laugh then.

“Of course,” he parrots back, still giggling just a little, “How silly of me. I must have forgotten who I was talking to. See you in five.” And then he hangs up.

He hung up on me Kurt thinks, staring at his phone in disbelief. He actually just hung up on me.

It takes him nearly two minutes to process the fact that not only has Sebastian called him drunk in the middle of the night for some unknown reason, but he’d then hung up before answering any of the million questions Kurt hasn’t been able to even form yet.

Then he realizes that he’s spent two minutes staring dumbly at his phone, which means in less than three minutes (if Sebastian’s alcohol-influenced timing is to be trusted) Sebastian will be at his house. Which is so not a good thing, because Kurt will need ten whole minutes just to fix his hair.

First things first though, which means Kurt is in desperate need of pants.

He knows that most of his friends think he sleeps in nothing but the finest silk sleepwear sets complete with house slippers for moving about in the evening. And he does own two sets, in dark blues with monograms and all, but the truth is that silk? Not really practical for everyday use. It can get hot, and sometimes the collars and embroidery rub against his skin annoyingly when he’s trying to sleep. Also, house slippers? Kind of a pain in the ass to slip on your feet just to shuffle to the bathroom in the morning. But he likes the idea of them, likes the way they harken back to an earlier age of classy, dapper gentlemen and the touch of fingertips being sexy enough.

So he keeps some for appearance sake, for sleepovers, and also for those days when he just wants to use fashion (even sleepwear fashion) as a way to escape his drab Ohio existence. But mostly, he sleeps in his underwear.

If it was winter he’d be a bit better off, because he’d have more of his flannel bottoms unpacked from his closet, but it’s summer and it’s hot and they’ve been trying not to run the AC at night, so Kurt now finds himself scrambling through drawers to find something, anything, to put on his lower half that isn’t powder blue boxer briefs or skinny jeans. (It doesn’t help that of his silk pajamas, one set is at Rachel’s still and the other is at the dry cleaner from when Finn spilled warm milk on him during their last lady chat. He’s kinda running low on options).

Eventually he unearths an old pair of sweats leftover from gym class and tugs them on quickly along with one of Finn’s McKinley High Football t-shirts, which always seems to end up in his drawers. (Okay, maybe he steals it from the laundry, but the cotton is super soft from being worn so often, and it’s just a little bit too big which makes him feel like a little brother for borrowing it, and Kurt’s still not quite over the novelty of having a brother to steal things from).

A quick check of his phone lets him know that he’s got less than a minute left, and he’s determined to be downstairs before Sebastian can ring the doorbell or do something else monumentally stupid that could potentially wake Finn and bring up entirely too many questions. His eyes do a fast sweep of his room, not that he plans on letting Sebastian near it if he can help it, and when he deems it as good as it’s going to get in the next 30 seconds he dashes out, shutting the door behind him, before taking the stairs two at a time.

He opens the front door just as a car blaring music at earsplitting levels comes barreling around the corner and parks crookedly against the curb in front of his house.

Kurt thinks he can see at least three people crammed into the backseat, another couple in front, and soon enough one of the rear doors is being flung open so that Sebastian himself can come tumbling out. There is a boy, probably college age and with awful skin but decent hair, leaning out the open door after as if he’s trying to tug Sebastian back in.

“Come on man, not cool to leave a guy hanging after you get yours!” decent (well really only okay) hair demands, and Sebastian turns back to the car.

“Next time!” he shouts, voice loud even though he is less than five feet away, “My boyfriend’s waiting on me!” He’s giggling again like it’s just about the funniest thing he’s ever said, and okay (not even okay, Kurt decides, in fact rather awful) hair gives Kurt something that he assumes is meant to be a glare but really only looks like one of Finn’s confused constipated stares.

Sebastian’s still laughing and stumbling, waving and shouting goodbyes back to the people in the car as awful hair shuts the door with more force than necessary and they peel away from the curb.

Kurt already doesn’t have the patience for this.

When Sebastian finally turns toward him, staggering up the drive to where Kurt is waiting at the door, he can see that Sebastian’s belt is undone as well as the button on his jeans, and that his hair is mussed in a way that practically screams ‘I just got laid.’ When he gets closer Kurt can see the glaze of alcohol in Sebastian’s eyes, as well as a flush on his cheeks which he has a sneaking suspicion has more to do with recent backseat activities than it does drinking.

Oh god, Kurt realizes, I think I just found out what Sebastian looks like after an orgasm.

He shuts that train of thought down quick, because he cannot add those mental pictures to an already overloaded psyche. 

“Hey boyfriend,” Sebastian grins as he closes the rest of the distance between them.

“What are you doing here?” Kurt asks tiredly, blocking the doorway so that Sebastian is forced to stop on the front step instead. “You can’t just show up at my house at two o’clock in the morning, drunk off your ass, and without any warning. What if my dad had been home?”

“But he’s not,” Sebastian says with a shrug, before glancing up at the darkened windows of the upper story with a little more apprehension. “He’s not right?”

“No,” Kurt sighs, stepping back to let Sebastian move into the house. This doesn’t feel like it’s about to be over anytime soon and he doesn’t need the risk of a nosy neighbor spying out their windows. “You don’t have to worry about shotguns or shouting fathers. This time.”

Sebastian grins at him, though whether it’s because in his inebriation he finds Kurt’s exasperation amusing, or he’s just pleased at being allowed inside, Kurt isn’t sure.

When he’s in, stumbling only a little over the doorjamb, Kurt closes the door (he feels kind of like he’s trapping himself in here, but there’s nothing to be done about it) and pushes Sebastian not-so-gently into the living room. Sebastian lets himself be pushed, his eyes roving over everything, and Kurt realizes a bit belatedly that Sebastian has never been inside his house before. 

He thinks about the obvious wealth of the Smythe estate and feels suddenly defensive of his own home. He’s bracing for an insulting comment, maybe something about it being small or quaint, but Sebastian just keeps looking at it all. It isn’t until they get to the living room, and one more hard shove sends Sebastian sprawling onto the couch, that he looks at Kurt again.

“You live here,” he says, and Kurt rolls his eyes.

“Yes, that is generally what people do in their houses. Live in them.”

“It’s…” Sebastian trails off for a moment as his eyes do one final sweep of the room, and Kurt braces for the dig. 

“Nice,” Sebastian finally says, grinning at Kurt again, “I like it, it feels like a home.”

“That’s because it is one, dummy,” Kurt huffs, but inside he’s relieved and maybe feeling a tiny bit pleased.

“No,” Sebastian is continuing, shaking his head with a little more force than necessary, “I mean, yes it is one, but it feels like one, you know? I guess I expected you to live in like an ice palace or something. No colors, no emotion, no warmth. I hate houses like that.”

Kurt wants to tease him for being a rambling drunk, but honestly he does know what Sebastian means. He’s been in houses like that, all show and no real warmth (the Anderson home, minus Blaine’s bedroom, springs to mind). He also knows that at their old house that was exactly the feeling he’d tried to create in his basement bedroom – a cold, emotionless place that was nearly sterile. Sure he’d called it fashionable, but the truth was back then he’d been so overwhelmed by feelings and fears in his daily life that he’d needed a place that felt more fortress than bedroom to come back to at the end of the day. 

He’s not thought about it much since they moved, but now that Sebastian has pointed it out it is abundantly clear to him that this house has what their last one lacked, it has a family in it making it a home instead of just shelter. Kurt thinks about his new bedroom upstairs, and though he still is a fan of Dior Gray, he also knows that his room is now filled with colors and knick-knacks and books and all these other signs of life that he had ruthlessly cut out just a few years ago. 

It’s kind of startling to be faced with your own emotional growth in the middle of the night, all because your idiot fake boyfriend made an astute drunken observation.

“Hmmm,” he hums in acknowledgement, not willing to share his thoughts or offer agreement even if he thinks Sebastian is right, “Are you going to tell me why you’re here now?”

“What, a guy can’t just visit his fake boyfriend in the middle of the night?”

“Sebastian,” Kurt warns, glare intensifying.

“Okay, okay jeez,” Sebastian placates, “I had to come, I’m supposed to be here.”

“You have about ten seconds to start making sense before I throw you back out the door,” Kurt grits out between clenched teeth.

“I told my family I was spending the night at yours,” Sebastian hurries to elaborate, clearly believing the threat (it’s good that one of them does, Kurt isn’t so sure he could actually throw someone so clearly inebriated out onto the street, even if they are being annoying).

“Okay…still not seeing the problem,” Kurt questions, “Isn’t that what you did last week? You didn’t have to actually show up here though.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Sebastian insists, “But, um, I may have kind of told Julian he could crash here tonight with us, because he was at a party near Lima and didn’t want to make the drive back so late.” This last is said in a rush of words so fast Kurt isn’t sure he’s heard them all right. He hopes he hasn’t heard them all right.

“You told Julian he could sleep here?”

“Yes.”

“Even though you weren’t planning to actually be here, because we aren’t actually boyfriends?”

“Yep.”

“Knowing that we haven’t talked at all in over a week, or made any sorts of plans or decisions about how to keep up the charade in front of your family in unexpected kinds of situations like this one?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you didn’t feel the need to ask me, or give me any sort of warning before two in the morning?”

“Um.”

“Sebastian!”

Any earlier modicum of affection or patience Kurt might have felt for the boy for not making fun of his home is wiped away in the face of this. He cannot believe that this is what his life is, and he also is frankly a little surprised that Sebastian would be so stupid as to risk their little arrangement being brought to light. 

“Explain,” he insists wearily, “Please just explain to me what exactly you were thinking.”

“Yeah okay,” Sebastian says hurriedly, clearly relieved at being granted a temporary reprieve, “Julian and I drove in together tonight, he had some house party he was going to and I told him I was spending the night with you so that I could head out to meet up with some people at Scandals. He was supposed to pick me up in the morning and drive us back, and I figured I’d just be back here in time to wait out on the curb for him to come by. That way I could drink or whatever and not have to worry about driving home. You wouldn’t have even had to know I was here.”

“That still sounds risky to me,” Kurt chides, not adding that what worries him more than the risk to their ruse is the idea of Sebastian out all night drinking when no one knows where he is and even he doesn’t know where he’ll end up sleeping, “But in any case it obviously went bad somehow, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

“Right,” Sebastian agrees, “I’m getting to that.”

Kurt arches an eyebrow at him and Sebastian grimaces a bit but continues.

“Julian asked if he could crash here with us tonight if he didn’t end up hooking up with someone at the party. I said sure, because Julian always finds someone to hook up with, so there was like zero chance of him actually wanting to stay here. Except it seems that spending the night in your house trumps having sex for him, so he called a half hour ago to say he’d be coming by later after all.”

Sebastian is glaring at Kurt like this is all somehow Kurt’s fault, like he’s purposely made himself intriguing to Julian just to ruin Sebastian’s fun. Kurt is starting to wonder if the urge to strangle the Smythe brothers is going to become a permanent thing.

“So he’s on his way right now?” Kurt asks. He wants to throw a fit, wants to tell Sebastian that he screwed up and will have to find a way out of this mess himself, but he’s also really just tired, and it’s late. Plus, for the promise of $10,000 maybe having Sebastian and his brother sleep on the living room floor is worth it.

“Yeah, he’ll probably be here in about...” Sebastian pauses to look bleary-eyed at his watch, “Um, ten or fifteen minutes I’d guess.”

“Okay,” Kurt sighs, “Fine. I will play along with this tonight, but I swear to god Sebastian if you pull this shit again I’m kicking you out to deal with your brother and anyone else all on your own. Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Sebastian grins, oh-so-pleased at having gotten his way.

“Good then I’m going up to bed and you can deal with Julian when he gets here. There are extra blankets and pillows in the hall closet for you two and just make sure that- what are you doing!”

Kurt cuts off his own speech to shriek at Sebastian who’s now standing up and working diligently at trying to remove both his pants and shirt at the same time. He’s currently tangled up in his shirt sleeves with his unbuttoned pants sliding dangerously low on his hips and Kurt feels like he’s stuck in some kind of awful, unwanted dream.

“Um, getting undressed?” Sebastian asks, peeking out the neck hole of his shirt in a way that Kurt ruthlessly tells himself is not at all adorable.

“Mother of god, why?” Kurt asks. He knows he’s still practically screeching and that his cheeks are probably an unhealthy shade of red, but doesn’t think he can be blamed for feeling a bit overwhelmed.

“Because I don’t sleep in my clothes?” Sebastian says speaking slowly like Kurt’s the one being strange. 

“Well you do tonight,” Kurt insists, moving closer to try and tug the shirt back down over Sebastian’s head. When his fingers accidentally brush over the warm skin of Sebastian’s stomach he pulls his hand back quickly, as if it’s been burned.

“Julian isn’t going to buy that I’m sleeping in my boyfriend’s bed with my clothes on, Kurt,” Sebastian insists, though much to Kurt’s relief he’s dropped the shirt back down to cover his chest and, for the time being at least, his jeans are still clinging to his hips.

“He won’t have to, because you aren’t sleeping in my bed,” Kurt argues. He’s so afraid of where this is going, but he’d not going to hurry them along to the obvious conclusion if he can help it.

“Kurt,” Sebastian says, looking at him with something akin to pity, “Of course I am, I’m supposed to be your boyfriend who is spending the night when your dad isn’t home. I don’t know what you and Blaine used to do, but there’s no where else I could sleep if we were actually dating.”

“But we’re not,” Kurt insists sullenly, feeling weirdly both panicked and resigned.

“Julian doesn’t know that,” Sebastian reminds him softly, and Kurt hates that he’s now the one being soothed by a drunk boy.

“I don’t- I can’t…Sebastian, please,” Kurt pleads quietly, though he doesn’t know exactly what he’s asking for or what he thinks Sebastian can do about the situation.

“Look, I’ll sleep on the floor okay? As long as I’m actually in your room Julian won’t suspect. But you have to let me take these clothes off, because not only will it look weird if I’m fully dressed while you’re in your pajamas, but they also smell like a bar. That’ll be kind of a big tip off that I haven’t been here all night.”

Kurt fidgets, tugging uncomfortably at his oversized t-shirt as Sebastian’s words remind him of his own current state of dress. It had taken him months of actually dating Blaine to let the other boy see him in anything less than a full outfit with styled hair, and being this mussed in front of Sebastian feels nearly as exposed as being naked (okay, not really, that would be way worse Kurt knows, but it still feels really fucking vulnerable).

“He’s going to be able to tell you’re drunk though,” Kurt points out, keen to stay away from the topic of his jammies.

“We’ll tell him I had too much wine over dinner or something, it’ll be fine,” Sebastian insists, waving a hand in front of him as if to bat the issue away. Kurt sighs again heavily, feeling all the fight drain out of him. Now he just wants to get through the next half hour so he can go to bed again and forget about Sebastian’s existence for awhile.

“Fine, but you aren’t getting naked,” Kurt insists, “Come upstairs and we’ll find you pajamas or something.”

Sebastian grins lecherously at him, though he follows Kurt without complaint.

“You know, lots of people would pay good money to see me naked,” he muses, climbing the stairs behind Kurt.

“It must be so reassuring to know you have a back up career as a stripper should your family ever lose their tremendous wealth,” Kurt responds drily. Sebastian laughs low and throaty behind him and Kurt can feel it shivering up his spine in a way that he convinces himself is distinctly unpleasant.

“You might not do so bad with a pole yourself princess,” Sebastian whispers as they walk down the darkened upstairs hallway, “I’ve seen the Cheerio’s videos you know, and Fergie’s got nothing on your hips.”

He is drunk Kurt reminds himself sternly when he feels his cheeks starting to heat up. He is drunk, and he is Sebastian, and he’d hit on anything in the state he’s in. He also tries really hard not to think about where Sebastian found those old Cheerio routines on video, or why on earth he watched them.

“I’m not sure whether that was an insult or a compliment, “ he manages to say, pleased that his voice sounds cool and detached and that the lack of light covers his blush.

“Definitely a compliment,” Sebastian says, “Though you’d probably have to strip in some kind of an act that let you wear a mask. Your gay face would totally ruin the appeal, hips made for sinning or not.”

And there it is, there’s the Sebastian that Kurt knows. He’d be offended if he wasn’t so goddamned relieved. Sebastian being an ass he can totally handle, Sebastian maybe-sort-of-a-little-bit hitting on him? Not so much.

“I can still kick you out you know,” he says, pushing against Sebastian’s shoulder to turn them into his room.

Sebastian looks as if he might have a comeback for that but gets distracted when Kurt flicks on the bedside lamp, bathing the room in a soft glow.

For a long minute it is silent between them; Kurt fidgeting and feeling nervous and exposed, and Sebastian blinking blearily in the sudden light, his eyes roaming all around the room as if he could soak it all up through sight alone.

“I was wrong before,” Sebastian says after a moment, voice quiet and still a little slurred from the alcohol. He’s started to drift around the edges of the room, running his fingers over Kurt’s things, “You don’t live out there, you live here.”

Kurt itches to grab Sebastian’s hands and pull them away from all the things they are touching. He wants even more to insist that he’s changed his mind and Sebastian needs to go back downstairs after all. However he finds himself unable to do anything but hold his breath and wait, watching with sharp eyes as Sebastian’s fingers trace the spines of his books, as he uses the pad of a thumb to swipe across a framed photograph of Kurt’s mom, and as he dances his fingertips over cds, figurines, and artwork, as if he can measure Kurt by touching those things that he displays – feeling him out without ever actually coming near him.

Finally Sebastian comes to a stop, having nearly completed a full circuit of the room. Kurt shifts his weight from one foot to the other and waits for judgment to fall.

“It’s not what I expected,” Sebastian says. 

“Oh?” Kurt can’t help but ask. He has no idea what that means, feels on edge still because of it.

Sebastian just cocks his head to the side, looking at Kurt with the same sense of evaluation that he had imbued his fingers with moments before. 

“You aren’t what I expected,” he murmurs, and that is no more explanation than before, but it’s all Kurt’s going to get.

When it is clear that Sebastian isn’t going to add anything more, Kurt shakes himself from his own nerves and introspection. They don’t have time for him to get Sebastian to explain, or for Kurt to fall apart for feeling so exposed like this. Julian is coming, and that is a whole new kind of complicated.

“Wait here,” Kurt says, pointing severely at Sebastian who is swaying a little where he stands, “Don’t touch anything else, don’t move. I’m going to go find you something of Finn’s to sleep in.”

“Can’t I sleep in something of yours?” Sebastian asks, looking honestly curious.

“No,” Kurt replies shortly. He doesn’t tell Sebastian that all his extra sleepwear is packed away, just like he doesn’t tell Sebastian that even if it weren’t he’s not sure how he’d feel about seeing Sebastian in his clothes. The ‘no’ seems to be enough for the other boy though, who just nods and stands as still as he’s able as Kurt backs out of the room.

He sneaks into Finn’s room quickly, not too worried about making noise because Finn can sleep through an awful lot. He manages to unearth a pair of Ohio State sweats that look clean, and grabs a plain grey t-shirt while he’s at it. When he returns Sebastian is exactly where he left him, just swaying a little with his eyes closed, which is a relief. He half expected to find the other boy either rooting through his most personal items or stripping down again.

“Here, you can wear these,” he says, thrusting the garments at Sebastian. 

Sebastian blinks his eyes open slowly and Kurt lets his own drop. Sebastian takes the clothes without comment though, and waits until Kurt has turned his back to start undressing.

“Did you play football?” Sebastian asks after he’s been rustling around behind Kurt for a moment (which Kurt is trying really hard not to think about, because he knows those are the sounds of undressing which means Sebastian is getting nearly naked in his bedroom and again, Kurt cannot handle that right now).

“What?”

“Did you play football in school?” Sebastian repeats, “Your shirt, it says McKinley Football on it.”

Kurt looks down at the printing on his t-shirt even though he already knows what it says.

“No. Well, I mean yeah, for about five minutes my sophomore year, I guess.” He never knows how to answer when people ask him if he ever played sports, because most people would be amused if he told them about cheerleading and while he did technically play football, he wasn’t on the team long enough to ever feel any real connection to or ownership of it.

“Seriously?” Sebastian asks, “What position did you play? And how did you not get creamed?”

“Kicker,” Kurt says shortly. He can’t really be offended though, because even with all the growing and filling out he’s done over the past two years he’s still pretty small compared to a lot of the football players.

“My dad was a kicker in college,” Sebastian says, and he’s stopped rustling so Kurt thinks it’s probably safe to turn around.

It is, much to his relief, though seeing Sebastian in slightly too long sweats and a t-shirt that Kurt is now realizing is actually his (he’s pretty sure it ending up in Finn’s drawer was an actual accident, Finn isn’t really the type to steal his clothes) is kind of unnerving.

“Oh yeah?” he asks, mostly to distract himself from his own thoughts.

“Mmmhmm,” Sebastian hums in confirmation, “You probably shouldn’t ever mention that you were one too to him though.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s already pretty much in love with you,” Sebastian says, and he’s smiling like it could be a joke but the look in his eye says he means it. “If you give him much more to gush about he’ll have our wedding planned before you can say ‘We’re just fake boyfriends’.”

Kurt gives a little nervous laugh. His stomach feels knotted up at the admission, just a ball of confused feelings that he doesn’t have the energy or time to sort. He’ll just throw it on the pile to examine later, right along with things like that damn kiss. He’s saved from having to answer by the sound of quiet knuckles rapping on wood drifting up through the house, sending them both into action, moving quickly down the stairs before Julian knocks again.

Kurt’s a bit breathless when he reaches the door from the dash, and it doesn’t get any easier to catch his breath again when he opens it to find Julian leaning against the frame, looking long and gorgeous and dangerous.

“Hiya sweetheart,” Julian drawls, smiling at Kurt and revealing a glint of perfect white teeth, set off against tan skin, “Didja miss me?”

*******

Bonus Song: As always, these are often just the songs I most listened to while writing particular bits and so don’t always have huge direct correlations. It’s mostly me sharing with you (and partly for myself) things that influence or support my writing process. This song actually ended up doing the rounds on Tumblr the other day which I thought was such interesting timing – it seems like one of those universal law things that sometimes when you are most listening to or thinking about something it seems to show up everywhere!

Anyway, the song is ‘Some Nights’ by Fun. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEDpIfNdDE8


	7. Chapter 6

Julian looks sinful. 

There is no other word for him, leaning against Kurt’s door in the middle of the night, dressed completely in black; tight black jeans, even tighter black v-neck, and – just in case the image wasn’t appealing enough already - black motorcycle boots as well, which Kurt can’t help but drool over, and only partly because he wants to own them.

Kurt forces himself to keep his eyes on Julian’s face (after just a tiny little once-over) and take a deep breath in through his nose. When he speaks his voice is mostly steady. He can feel Sebastian crowding up behind him, and with Julian all stretched out in front he’s feeling an awful lot like the meat in a Smythe brother sandwich (and god even he can’t deny that the image that brings to mind is fucking pornographic, which he so does not need to be thinking about right now).

“Julian,” he says when he’s sure his voice won’t do something stupid, like sound dangerously close to turned on. “Come in.”

He tries to step back, to give Julian the room to actually come inside, but Sebastian doesn’t move at all so he actually ends up just pressing back against the boy behind him. Sebastian doesn’t seem perturbed by it, in fact much to Kurt’s horror he just slips an arm low around Kurt’s waist and pulls him back even closer. He hooks his chin over Kurt’s shoulder, so that he can give Julian a smug smile, and Kurt is sure his face is burning.

“Yeah Jules, come on in,” Sebastian seconds, his arm tightening just a little.

Julian takes in the display, his smile getting even wider than before, and he shoots Kurt a wink before sliding past them and into the house.

Sebastian turns them both, and Kurt is relieved when the arm around his waist disappears. It’s a short-lived relief though, because Sebastian just slings it around his shoulders, pulling Kurt in until they are pressed hip to hip instead. The move is so blatantly possessive that Kurt feels exasperation fast replacing any embarrassment he might have initially felt. The fact the Sebastian feels the need to declare ownership of Kurt in front of his big brother, when less than half an hour ago he was stumbling out the back of a car and away from a random hookup, is ridiculous and a little annoying. 

Kurt shoves Sebastian aside enough to slip out from under his arm, rolling his eyes at the disgruntled look that earns him. Julian just continues to look amused.

“Thanks for letting me crash here, Kurt,” he says, still eyeing his brother who is trying to shuffle back in closer to where Kurt is standing.

“It’s fine,” Kurt responds, trying to keep his voice polite instead of the mix of flustered and frustrated he’s actually feeling.

“Really, you didn’t have to though and I appreciate it,” Julian insists, and Kurt watches as he steps closer, though his eyes are firmly fixed on his brother. Kurt can feel Sebastian stepping in closer as Julian does, which makes Julian smile again like he just got the result he was expecting in an experiment. 

“And really, it’s fine,” Kurt repeats, stepping to the side so he’s no longer between the boys and their ridiculous advances, “I’d rather you slept here than drove back tired anyway.”

Even though the whole situation is far from ideal, Kurt does mean it. He’d hate to think of something happening to Julian, especially if he could prevent it by letting the guy crash on his couch for a night. It’s just one more piece of proof that he’s already too invested in the damn family, but it’s too late to do anything about it now. Kurt can’t just switch it off, even if it’d make his life easier.

“Are you saying you’d worry about me Kurt?” Julian asks, something a little wicked in the tilt of his lips, “Because I can stay here every night if it’d make you feel better to have me nearby.”

Sebastian growls something low and Kurt is really getting a little tired of the game. He thinks it’d probably be more flattering if he could believe it was really about him instead of this weird brotherly competition thing they’ve got going on. But then Julian turns that smile on him fully, looking at Kurt like it really is about him, and Kurt can’t help but feel a little flattered after all. He’s only human.

“Can I um…can I get you anything before I-I mean we - before we go to bed?” he asks, hates himself for stuttering, and barely managing to catch the slip. And shit, as if this situation isn’t crazy enough he’s now really realizing that he’s going to have to go back to his room with Sebastian any minute now and then try and sleep with that boy just feet away and the other one right downstairs. When the hell did this become his life?

“Running off to bed already?” Julian asks, putting on a little pout, “I was hoping we could all stay up and chat for awhile.”

“Sorry, bro, but I tired Kurt out earlier,” Sebastian says, finally managing to sneak back up behind Kurt and reach for him again. Kurt tries to shrug the arm around him off once more, but this time Sebastian is ready for it and doesn’t let him go.

Julian arches an eyebrow and looks between them, as if trying to figure out if the innuendo is just more posturing. He lets his eyes give Kurt a long once over too, and Kurt is pretty sure he’s being mentally undressed by someone he’s known for less than two weeks, which is definitely a first. Part of him wonders ruefully where all the guys like Julian were when he was going through his self-doubting phase, but a larger part is thinking he should probably put a stop to all the ogling before Sebastian actually flips out. The arm around him is already starting to tighten, and Sebastian is just squeezing more with every inch that Julian lets his eyes wander.

“You know what, you can both still end up sleeping on the front lawn,” Kurt says, finally managing to push Sebastian away one more time and snapping his fingers in front of Julian’s face until he pulls his eyes back up to Kurt’s face guiltily. “If you’re going to act like children I have no problem sending you out.”

They both finally seem to snap out of the little dance they’re doing and stare at Kurt with twin looks of open disbelief and worry.

“You wouldn’t,” Julian says.

“We could die from exposure,” Sebastian adds sincerely.

“It’s summer, you’d be fine. Uncomfortable, but fine,” Kurt asserts, “And considering you’re both doing your damnedest to make me uncomfortable right now, I think it’d only be fair if I return the favor.”

Julian looks instantly sorry, but Sebastian is still pouting like he wants to argue the point.

“Try me,” Kurt says, eyes locked firmly on Sebastian’s own.

Sebastian stares back for a moment, eyes still glazed a bit from the drinking and clearly trying to decide if it’s worth the risk. Eventually he’s the one to back down, breaking the gaze.

“Good,” Kurt says, “I’d hate to have to tell your mother that you ended up sleeping on the lawn for being idiots.”

“Oh it’d be much worse if you told Olivia,” Julian says, though he shuts up quick when Sebastian elbows him in the stomach.

“He doesn’t mean that,” Sebastian says hurriedly, “You absolutely should not think about telling Olivia, because she wouldn’t care at all.”

“Uh-huh,” Kurt hums, voice a little gleeful at the unexpected information, “Sure thing. I’ll make sure to remember that, don’t ever tell Olivia when you two are being stupid. Because she wouldn’t care at all.”

They both nod in agreement so quickly that Kurt is tempted to call Olivia right now just to see how bad it would be for them if he did tell. But it’s now three in the morning, and so far Olivia’s been really sweet to him so he’s not going to push it by waking her up. He’s been made well aware of how annoying that can be, after all. Besides, this way he has something to threaten them with if they keep acting like fools.

“Alright, then as long as you both behave I suppose you can sleep inside. But we are going to bed now,” he says. “To sleep Julian,” he adds when the older boy leers at him scandalously.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered, did you know that?” Julian asks.

“I’m always cute,” Kurt says, pulling a startled little laugh from the other boy. “Now, if you’re done flirting with me to try and get a rise out of your brother, I’ll go get you a pillow so we can all go to sleep before the sun comes up, okay?”

“Pretty sure you’re the one getting a rise out of my brother,” Julian drawls, and Kurt knows his cheeks are heating again but he can’t help it.

Julian laughs, but doesn’t push it any further. Instead he turns to punch Sebastian in the arm, Kurt assumes in retaliation for the earlier elbow. Sebastian shouts a protest at that, before hitting back twice as hard. In seconds the two of them are grappling at each other, getting in sharp hits wherever they can and laughing through the whole thing.

Kurt takes the out, and leaves them to their tussle to fetch the extra blankets and pillows from the closet in the hall. By the time he gets back Sebastian is sitting innocently on the couch while Julian wanders the edges of the living room, looking over the pictures on the walls and whistling quietly under his breath. Kurt can see red patches on their arms from where they’ve been hitting each other, and Sebastian keeps rubbing at his bicep and wincing slightly, but they are both smiling a little too. Kurt wonders idly if he and Finn will ever be the kind of brothers that beat on each other just for the hell of it. He thinks it’s probably weird that he almost hopes so.

“Is this from your graduation?” Julian asks suddenly, pulling Kurt from his thoughts. He’s pointing at a huge collage of pictures on the wall – a project Carole had spent a whole weekend on right after the event.

“What gave it away?” Kurt asks sarcastically, “No wait, don’t tell me, it was the caps and gowns right?”

“Oooh, he’s feisty Sebby, I like it,” Julian teases, making Sebastian frown again though Kurt just rolls his eyes.

“Yes, that’s graduation,” Kurt confirms unnecessarily, though it distracts Julian from teasing his little brother which was kind of Kurt’s intention.

He moves to stand next to Julian so that he can look over the pictures too. They make something ache deep in Kurt’s chest to look at, taken just weeks ago but already seeming like a lifetime away. So much has changed since then, and so much is still changing.

“If you make one crack about how bad my hair looks in any of those, I will have no qualms following through on my earlier threat of making you sleep outside,” Kurt grumbles softly, not letting himself dwell on his feelings, “It was those awful caps. No amount of hairspray can stand up to hours under polyester and cheap elastic.”

“I like it messy,” Julian says, smiling over at Kurt and letting his eyes flick up. “Case in point,” he adds and ruffles at Kurt’s hair. Kurt is too stricken by the sudden reminder that he’s been wandering around with bedhead for the last hour to even bat the hand away.

“How come Seb’s not in any of these?” Julian asks, looking back to the photos and totally unaware of Kurt’s distress over his mussed hair.

“Dalton’s graduation was the same day,” Sebastian says quickly, just as Kurt says, “My dad doesn’t know we’re dating.”

They stare at each other in blind panic for a moment before speaking again at the same time again.

“I mean, Dalton had their ceremony at the same time…”

“Kurt’s dad is super overprotective, so we just haven’t…”

They stall out again, and Kurt is sure this is the moment the whole lie is going to start falling apart, but Julian cuts in before he can blurt out any more information that might condemn them.

“It’s cool guys, you don’t have to tell me about not wanting to tell the parents about who you’re dating right away. Lord knows I’ve dated some people that I wasn’t sure about introducing to the folks.”

“It isn’t like that,” Kurt says immediately, suddenly uncomfortably aware that Julian thinks he’s ashamed of Sebastian. And Sebastian might not be his favorite person, and he may not actually be dating the guy, but Kurt knows all too well the feeling of someone being ashamed of who you are, and he wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy (which, he’s surprised to realize in his own mind, isn’t what Sebastian is anymore either).

“Oh no?” Julian asks, “It’s fine Kurt, I know my brother well enough to not be offended on his behalf, he isn’t exactly meet-the-parents material. I won’t tell my parents that your dad doesn’t know either, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No it really isn’t,” Kurt insists, “And I think I’m kind of offended on your brother’s behalf right now that you think I ought to be embarrassed of him.”

Julian looks a little stunned and a little guilty, and when Sebastian moves up next to Kurt to put an arm around his shoulders again Kurt doesn’t shrug it off for once.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Julian says sincerely. Sebastian is still mostly relaxed at his side so Kurt figures he’s not too upset.

“Good,” Kurt says, “Because it isn’t like that. Sebastian and I just have some…history, I guess. So I was just waiting until things got a little more serious before I told my dad is all. I’m going to tell him soon.”

He’s not sure when he started being able to lie quite so easily, but the words flow off his tongue without so much as a second thought. If Kurt didn’t know better he’d believe they were really dating.

“Oh, um, good then,” Julian says, and turns back to the photos quickly, obviously hoping to avoid any more awkwardness.

“It’s okay Julian,” Sebastian teases, “I know none of your conquests have ever wanted to introduce you to daddy before, so I can see how you might have assumed.”

“Fuck you little brother,” Julian replies, but the tension finally drops away from his stance. Sebastian seems to be appeased as well, because the arm around Kurt drops too.

Kurt is just starting to relax himself, sure another near miss has been averted, when Julian goes absolutely still next to him.

“Julian?” he asks, when the other boy doesn’t even so much as breathe for a few seconds.

Julian doesn’t say anything and Kurt follows his gaze to see what’s gotten the reaction. All that he sees is a picture in the upper right hand corner of the collage, of he and Blaine smiling at the camera, with Cooper snuck up behind them giving them both bunny ears. For a minute Kurt is sure that something in the photograph must make it clear that he and Blaine were still dating at that point and that’s what’s thrown Julian off. Julian quickly rids him of that worry.

“Is that…that’s Cooper Anderson,” he says softly after a minute, his hand coming up to hover just above the photo as if he could almost reach out and touch the man in it.

“Yeah,” Kurt says, “You used to know each other didn’t you?”

Julian lets out a little pained sounding, choked-off laugh. “You could say that.”

Kurt turns to Sebastian looking for some kind of explanation for the weird reaction, but Sebastian is looking at his brother, as if afraid Julian is about to break.

“Oh, um, have you two kept in touch?” Kurt asks after another minute of silence, because he just has no idea what he’s supposed to do or say here.

“No,” Julian responds, and his voice is still quiet and a little sad, “No we haven’t. When it ended it wasn’t very….well, let’s just say it ended.”

Kurt wants to ask for more details about what ‘it’ is, because Sebastian’s told him about the kissing and the friendship, but Julian is making it sound like a lot more than that. He doesn’t ask though, because he can hear something in Julian’s voice that is so familiar to that sore spot in his own heart.

“So that must be Blainers,” Julian adds a moment later, pointing at the other boy in the photo, “He grew up good, huh?”

“Blainers?” Kurt can’t help but ask, smiling a little, “I thought only Coop called him that.”

Julian looks momentarily pained again at Kurt using the nickname for Cooper, but he replaces it with a smile quickly. To his credit, it only looks a little forced.

“Yeah, I guess I picked it up from him,” Julian admits, “Cooper loved to tell me stories about his dorky baby brother. Considering I thought mine was the biggest pain in the ass at the time, it was a bit of a novelty hearing about someone else actually liking their youngest sibling.”

“Did you know Blaine back then?” Kurt asks Sebastian, surprise coloring his features and tone. As far as he’d known they had just met at Dalton this last year.

“Nope, went to different elementary and middle schools,” Sebastian says, “And by the time he was at Dalton I…well I wasn’t there anymore.”

Kurt’s head is spinning from all these hints at a past he is just starting to realize is more complicated than he ever could have guessed, but now is not the time to ask.

“How’d you meet Blaine?” Julian asks Kurt, finally tearing his eyes away from the photograph. “I didn’t realize he went to McKinley.”

“At Dalton actually,” Kurt tells him. “It’s a long story.”

“Seems there’s a lot of those around here,” Julian says wryly, and Kurt knows he’s picked up on all the things unsaid between the three of them too.

“Yeah,” Kurt confirms, “Well, suffice it to say that I ended up going to your Alma Mater for about half of my junior year. Blaine and I met there.”

“You go to high school with Cooper Anderson’s little brother and you didn’t tell me?” Julian asks Sebastian, looking at him reprovingly.

“Nope,” Sebastian says, “He doesn’t go to Dalton anymore.”

There’s more to that too Kurt is sure, Sebastian’s not telling Julian about Blaine’s presence in his life, but again Kurt knows now is not the time to ask.

“He, ah, goes to McKinley now actually,” Kurt says, interrupting the staring match the brothers have going. “He transferred last fall.”

“Why?” Julian asks, turning back to Kurt once again. “I mean, no offense to the public school brat in the room, but why’d his parents pull him out of Dalton?”

“They didn’t,” Kurt admits. He realizes Julian must be thinking that Blaine’s leaving is akin to the story he’s heard of Cooper leaving Dalton. “He wanted to transfer.”

Julian arches an eyebrow in clear expectation of a better explanation.

“He transferred to be with Kurt,” Sebastian says finally, when Kurt doesn’t elaborate. “They were dating.”

There is something in Sebastian’s tone that Kurt can’t quite place. He wonders if it is lingering resentment over his stealing Blaine from the Warblers, or maybe disappointment at the fact that had Kurt not been dating Blaine, Sebastian might have gotten his shot at the other boy. It doesn’t feel like it is either of those things, but it is a little bitter nonetheless. More questions that he may never have the answer too, Kurt figures.

“Oh really?” Julian is looking at Kurt with a new interest, head tilted to the side in a way that reminds Kurt of how Sebastian had looked at him in his room earlier.

“Yeah,” Kurt says, “We’re…we used to date.”

It is the first time he’s had to really say those words – past tense – out loud, he realizes belatedly. He feels a little numb at them.

“Not a bad break up then?” Julian asks, looking briefly at the photos again, “I mean, you look like you’re still friends in the photos.”

“Yeah,” Kurt says again, “He’s my best friend.”

Sebastian stiffens a little next to him, and Julian is giving him that appraising look once more, but Kurt doesn’t care. Blaine is his best friend, and he’s not going to lie about that for the sake of this whole fake-boyfriend thing. It’s not like he’s not allowed to be friends with someone if he’s dating Sebastian, so they can all just live with it.

“Interesting,” Julian murmurs finally.

“Whatever, Blaine’s in the past,” Sebastian says lightly a moment later, “Right babe?”

Kurt turns hard eyes on him, thinking Sebastian is poking fun at him privately, but is surprised to find a little bit of a challenge in the other boy’s gaze. He’s not sure what the challenge is about, but it is definitely there.

“Yep,” Kurt says tightly, “The past.”

Sebastian looks pleased.

“Aww, is Sebby still a little jealous?” Julian asks.

“Never,” Sebastian asserts immediately, “Nothing to be jealous about, is there Kurt?”

Kurt is about to give him another terse agreement, but Sebastian makes the fatal mistake of trying to tousle his hair.

“If you touch the hair there might be,” he growls, batting the hand away. Sebastian looks mortally offended and Julian is laughing again.

“You let Julian touch it!” Sebastian complains.

“Julian doesn’t know any better. You ought too.”

Sebastian is still pouting, but Kurt feels like some of the tension in the room at the talk of the Anderson brothers has lifted a little at least, now that the subject seems to be closed.

“Tell you what Seb,” Julian says companionably, bumping shoulders with his brother, “How about you get to touch the hair, and I get to touch all the parts of Kurt that are currently available to only your wandering hands, hmmm?”

“And I suppose I get no say in that arrangement?” Kurt asks, folding his arms in mock indignation.

“Oh I’m sure I can make you say a lot,” Julian promises lewdly, wiggling his eyebrows, “We’ll start with ‘Oh god’ and ‘Yes, Julian, please yes’. How does that sound?”

“That sounds like my cue to take my boyfriend back to bed,” Sebastian cuts in, shoving at his brother playfully. “And for the record? We’ve already covered the ‘Oh god’ and the ‘please yes’ this evening. And my name? Sounds a lot better from his lips than yours ever would.”

Julian laughs and throws his hands up in surrender. “Fair enough. Though if you’d ever like to test that theory, I’m more than happy to help you two experiment.”

“You are both terrible people,” Kurt declares, but he can’t help but smile along with them. It’s nice to see them tease without the tension for once, even if it is about him.

Julian grins at him, and even Sebastian gives him a fond little smile.

“Blankets and a pillow,” he says to Julian, pointing at the pile on the couch. It seems like it’s probably a good time to call it a (very very late) night, before things can get weird again. “The kitchen is through there if you need water or anything, and the bathroom is at the end of the hall.”

“Thanks,” Julian says with an honest smile, for once devoid of any flirty intentions. Kurt smiles back, because as much as he might enjoy some of the flirting it’s nice to see that Julian can turn it off.

“If you need anything, I’m the second door on the right upstairs,” he adds, stepping back to head toward the stairs.

“Knock first,” Sebastian adds with a wink. Kurt thinks about smacking him for it, and then realizes whether Sebastian’s thought it through or not it’s actually not a bad thing to say. They’ll need some warning if Sebastian’s going to sleep on the floor and not get caught out. 

He smacks Sebastian on the arm anyway, just because he can, and grins when it gets him another offended pout.

“C’mon dummy, it’s bedtime,” he says, and can’t keep the fondness out of his voice. Sebastian huffs but follows when Kurt moves toward the stairs again.

“You aren’t being very nice to me,” Sebastian mumbles, rubbing at his arm where Kurt hit it, but doesn’t push the matter when Kurt just rolls his eyes. Julian is still laughing at them when they walk out of the room.

Sebastian doesn’t say much else at all really, which Kurt is surprised at, and also a little grateful for. The late hour and lack of sleep is catching up with him, and he’s not really in the right state of mind for any more banter. There are too many unsaid things, too much unknown past, hovering between them still for it to come easily at the moment anyway.

Instead they just move in quiet tandem with each other, working to strip the duvet off the end of Kurt’s bed, tossing it and an extra pillow on the floor between bed and wall. Sebastian doesn’t even complain about having to sleep on the floor, and Kurt thinks maybe the drinking is catching up to him finally, making him sleepy and slow.

In any case, Sebastian settles in without complaint even though it can’t be all that comfortable, and just mumbles a soft ‘Goodnight’ when Kurt switches off the bedside lamp.

“Goodnight,” Kurt returns, just as quietly.

For a few minutes the darkness feels unbearably intimate. Kurt can hear Sebastian breathing, and tries to keep his own breaths steady and calm even as all his earlier nerves and vulnerable worries about having Sebastian here, in his room, are returning. Soon though Sebastian starts to quietly snore and it breaks the tension making Kurt feel like giggling, both at the sound and in relief. 

His own exhaustion overwhelms him quickly enough, and a few minutes later he drifts off as well. Just before he surrenders to dreams, he thinks that if it wasn’t so weird it might actually be a little nice falling asleep next to someone again.

*****

Kurt’s not sure what wakes him later, but when he blinks open blurry eyes it isn’t quite morning yet. He can see just the faintest red glow out his window, so sunrise can’t be far off, but the room is still mostly dark. Well, except for the glow of a cell phone screen that illuminates Sebastian, sitting at Kurt’s vanity and staring intently at the device in his hand.

“Sebastian?” Kurt asks, voice scratchy with sleep. “What’re you doing?”

Sebastian glances up, and the look on his face pulls Kurt a little further out of his sleepy state. The other boy looks legitimately upset, maybe even a little angry. Kurt doesn’t quite know his expressions well enough yet to be sure.

“Blaine’s an idiot,” Sebastian says by way of answer, staring hard at Kurt.

“O-kay,” Kurt says, drawing the word out in question, “What brought that observation on?”

Sebastian waves the phone in his hand at Kurt, and Kurt realizes that it’s actually his phone that Sebastian is holding.

“Hey!” He half lunges from the bed, getting tangled up in the sheet in the process and nearly falling out instead, “You can’t just go through someone’s phone!”

Sebastian waves him off, as if it’s neither here nor there, and moves to sit next to Kurt on the bed. Kurt would argue against the new seating arrangement, but he’s too focused on snatching his phone back and trying to figure out what exactly Sebastian has been looking at. He sees his text history open, all his conversations with Blaine over the last few weeks displayed, including plenty of discussion about the impending break-up.

“You had no right,” he says lowly, feeling defensive and exposed, “No right. This is private Sebastian, and I know you don’t have the best grasp on the meaning of that word, but you should know better.”

“Did you hear me?” Sebastian asks, ignoring Kurt’s admonition, “I said Blaine’s an idiot.”

“I heard you just fine,” Kurt snaps, holding the phone close to his chest as if he can even now hide the information that Sebastian has obviously already seen. “He’s not an idiot.”

“He dumped you because he thought it would strengthen your relationship Kurt. I stand by my assessment.”

“He didn’t dump me, we’re just on a break,” Kurt mumbles, knows how stupid those words sound, which only makes the fact that they are the truth seem even worse.

“Oh, so you commonly have to take a break from spending time with those you love do you?” Sebastian mocks. “Bet you can’t wait to get away from your family when you move this fall then, hmm? Since you love them so much.”

Kurt feels anger and humiliation heating his face, because of course he doesn’t want to leave his family. In fact it is the one thing that kills him about the idea of moving to New York, leaving his dad. But Sebastian using that against him is just not fair, and he hates that Sebastian’s argument sounds so logical to him, when he’s spent weeks and weeks convincing himself of the logic of Blaine’s plan.

Sebastian isn’t done either. His eyes cast around the room before his gaze lands on the insert for Kurt’s Original Cast Wicked soundtrack. “Or…or, I bet you make sure to only listen to your Wicked soundtrack once every few months, since you love it so much right?” 

He tosses the insert back on Kurt’s bedside table and snatches up a picture of Kurt and Rachel with their arms around each other outside the theater where they’d had their NYADA auditions together a few months before. 

“And what about your friends?” he asks, voice loud and angry. Kurt is glad for the thick walls in the house, otherwise he’d have to worry about their voices waking Finn or Julian.

“You must sure hate having to spend so much time with all of them,” Sebastian is continuing, “Man, it must be awful not having been able to take a break from them, what with how you all love each other to the point where it’s frankly a little disgusting.”

Kurt feels the burn of tears, feels his heart aching, because Sebastian is vocalizing all the things he’s been trying to pretend he hasn’t been thinking for the past month and a half.

“It’s not the same,” Kurt argues, though his heart isn’t really in it. “This is about Blaine and I testing our limits, so we don’t hurt each other later on.”

“It’s hurting you now Kurt,” Sebastian insists, eyes still flashing with frustration, and a temper only fueled even more by the lingering effects of alcohol in his system. “Why are you letting him hurt you now?”

“We agreed, it wasn’t just him…” Kurt tries, but he can’t bring himself to put enough conviction in his words to make them even halfway believable. God he doesn’t want to cry right now.

“Bullshit,” Sebastian says, and his voice is quieter but it still has a righteous edge. “I read the texts Kurt, there are weeks of you hinting around about if there isn’t any other way to do it, and every single time he’s the one who insists it’s for the best.”

“It’s not like he wants to hurt me though!” Kurt nearly yells back, feeling his breaking point drawing near. He cannot let himself just agree with Sebastian on this, he can’t. It’ll hurt too much to acknowledge that Sebastian is right. “It isn’t about breaking up, not really. He’s just leaving for the summer, but then he’s coming back to me. He loves me. He’s only doing it because he loves me, and then he’s coming back.”

“That just makes it worse,” Sebastian insists, “If he’s really doing it for what he thinks are good reasons, he’s even stupider than I’m giving him credit for.”

“Stop calling him stupid!” Kurt shouts back, “You can’t just pass judgment on this, you don’t get to decide what’s right for us because you don’t even know us!”

“I know Blaine,” Sebastian says voice low but still furious, “And I thought I was starting to know you. But if you actually buy into this bull then maybe I don’t know you after all.”

“If you know him, you know he’d never do something hurtful if he didn’t think he had a good reason. You’d know he’s doing it because he loves me.” Kurt hopes if he says the words aloud enough they will somehow soothe his heartache. The worst part is he knows what he’s saying is true, but it is still stupid and painful and unfair. He just can’t let himself think about those parts.

“Like I said, idiot,” Sebastian confirms, “Who the hell does that? Who tells someone they’re leaving them because they love them?”

“Haven’t you ever heard ‘if you love something let it go’?” Kurt responds weakly.

“Yeah, and whoever said that was an idiot too,” Sebastian asserts. “If you love something you hold onto it as tight as you fucking can, and you make damn sure it doesn’t ever want to go.”

“How would you know anything about love?!” Kurt hurls out, lashing out in his fragility.

Sebastian’s eyes flash with something that looks a lot like pain, but just as quickly anger is replacing it once more and Kurt can almost convince himself that he imagined it.

“I don’t have to know about love to know that this is stupid,” Sebastian finally says, and Kurt can hear an echo of that flash in his voice. It is enough to stop Kurt’s own anger, leaving him feeling nothing but drained and disheartened.

“He’s trying to do what’s best,” he manages to whisper, though it sounds lame to his own ears.

“Well his best is really fucking shitty then,” Sebastian says firmly, “And you deserve better than that.”

Kurt can’t even feel shocked at the words, because he’s too busy trying to stop himself from breaking, to stop the tears from actually spilling over. He manages a half shrug, and refuses to meet Sebastian’s eyes.

“Hey,” Sebastian says, shoving at Kurt’s shoulder until Kurt looks up. “You deserve better.”

“Why do you even care?” Kurt whispers, looking down again, not able to stand the compassion in those green eyes boring into him. “You hate me, you spent months trying to get Blaine to ditch me. This should thrill you.”

“Yeah well, maybe I was an idiot too,” Sebastian mutters, “No one deserves to get dumped for such a stupid reason, not even someone as annoying as you.”

“Gee thanks,” Kurt says, but he’s smiling a little again which he figures is an improvement over the near tears of a few seconds ago. “And to think, for a second there I thought you might actually be being nice to me.”

“Never,” Sebastian denies grinning at him now, his face open and kind in a way that makes Kurt feel better than a million mugs of warm milk, or days of Puck-cuddles ever could. He pushes at Kurt’s shoulder again until Kurt laughs.

“I’m on to you, Smythe,” Kurt manages to tease, his voice only a little rough from those unshed tears, “You aren’t actually as much of an asshole as you’d like everyone to believe.”

“I am so an asshole,” Sebastian argues, “I’m just still a little drunk, and I have a particular dislike for idiots that’s all. Believe me, by the time I wake up tomorrow I’m going to be hating you again.”

“Good,” Kurt says, “Because I plan on hating you when I wake up too.”

“Good,” Sebastian agrees, “Then we’re in agreement. But since you maybe don’t hate me so much right this minute, how about you let me sleep in the bed? The floor is really fucking hard.”

Kurt feels like maybe he should say no, but he’s feeling a little sleepy again, and his early morning state of mind and Sebastian’s words have lulled him back into a state of quiet amity, so he shrugs and nods instead.

“Okay, but if you drool on my pillows you are buying me a whole new sheet set,” he threatens, scooting over to make a bit more room.

“Sure thing princess,” Sebastian says, rolling his eyes fondly. He scoops the pillow off the floor and puts it down beside Kurt’s own.

Kurt stiffens for a moment when Sebastian first slips underneath the sheet with him, toes brushing just briefly over Kurt’s calf. Sebastian settles on his back a moment later though, letting his eyes close and leaving enough space between them that Kurt is able to relax. He’ll probably have to add this to the pile of moments to analyze tomorrow, but right now it all feels easy and maybe even a little nice, laying here with someone else.

“Why were you even looking at my phone anyway?” he asks sleepily after a minute of silence.

“I wanted to see how bad you were at sexting,” Sebastian admits, smiling wider when Kurt makes an indignant little noise.

“I don’t sext,” Kurt insists, face reddening. Sebastian’s eyes stay closed though, so he doesn’t see, thank goodness.

“I figured that out, thanks,” Sebastian says wryly. “I was sure you did though, what with all your talk about joint nightly skincare routines that day we met.”

“What’s wrong with good skincare?” Kurt grumbles, letting his own eyes close so that they are both just speaking into the hushed darkness between them.

“Nothing, in theory,” Sebastian admits, “It’s just you’re the only 18 year old guy in the world who can say ‘rigorous skin-sloughing regimen’ and not be talking about masturbating.”

Kurt can’t help but blink his eyes open again at that, because he’s now apparently laying in bed with Sebastian Smythe talking about masturbation, and he has to make sure this isn’t just the most fucked up sex dream he’s ever had. Sebastian lets his own eyes drift open, and the intimacy of staring at each other from just inches away makes Kurt’s next words come out more softly than he intended.

“I’m also the only 18 year old guy with invisible pores. Make fun of me all you want, but we both know my skin is amazing because of my regimens.”

“Yeah, it kinda is,” Sebastian agrees, turning on his side a little to look more fully at Kurt. 

He raises one of his hands toward Kurt’s face, slowly as if to give Kurt the chance to pull away, but Kurt couldn’t move even if he wanted too. He’s having a hard enough time remembering to breathe. 

Sebastian lets the hand hover just above Kurt’s cheek for a second, and when Kurt doesn’t flinch he lets it drop, caressing Kurt’s skin oh-so-softly with just the tips of his fingers. They drift across Kurt’s cheekbone, move down to trace over his jawline, before Sebastian turns his hand to repeat the motion using the back of his fingers instead. 

Kurt knows he’s breathing shallow and quick, but can’t do anything about it. Sebastian’s fingers are cool against his heated skin, leaving little tingling trails of feeling in their wake.

When Sebastian’s fingers reach Kurt’s chin a second time, he lets his thumb lift up to pull at Kurt’s lower lip softly, his hand splaying out to cup Kurt’s face. It is just the briefest brush and catch, but Kurt feels like his nerves are firing on overdrive and his brain is short-circuiting. He feels like he’s just waiting for something inevitable, bracing for Sebastian to lean in closer.

Sebastian doesn’t move in though, just lets his thumb trace over Kurt’s lip a few times before pulling away. He stares at Kurt for a second, and Kurt can feel his millions of questions and conflicting emotions reflected at him in Sebastian’s eyes. It feels like another moment with the potential to be something more. But Sebastian breaks the gaze after a few long seconds, laughing harshly and scrubbing a hand over his face as he rolls onto his back once again.

“Fuck I’m so drunk,” he says, even though his voice isn’t slurring anymore. “Can we just forget that happened please? I’m going to be hating life enough as it is in the morning, I don’t need to add this to it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Kurt says, shaking off the weird mood and laughing a little wryly himself, “Honestly I was just getting ready to kick you back to the floor for getting fresh, so it’s a good thing you came to your senses.”

“Getting fresh? Really Kurt? What are you, eighty?”

“Says the guy who wears cable knit sweaters that even my grandpa wouldn’t touch.”

“I’ll have you know the grandpa look is very in this year,” Sebastian argues, imbuing his voice with as much authority as possible.

“You really don’t want to argue fashion with me Smythe, because you will not win.”

“Maybe if we were talking women’s fashion.”

“Fashion has no gender,” Kurt declares confidently.

Sebastian laughs loudly at that, rolling back onto his side to grin at Kurt, who is smiling just as hugely. And just like that, balance is restored.

Kurt lets all the familiarity of the teasing rush back in to quiet his mind, forcing every other thought down until all the intense and unexpected emotions of the past half hour dull to a quiet roar in the recesses of his subconscious. There are just some things he isn’t ready to think about, not right now. He is okay with that, okay with letting this at least stay easy for a while longer, when everything else is hard.

They smile at each other for another minute, before Kurt has to stifle a yawn.

“Goodnight again Kurt,” Sebastian murmurs then, letting his eyes roam over Kurt’s face. He has a tiny smile on his lips, but it feels affectionate instead of teasing.

“Goodnight,” Kurt whispers back, returning the smile tentatively. He suspects this whole thing is just going to be one of those weird early morning moments that burst like a soap bubble under the light of day, but for the moment it is enough. More than that it is, perhaps, exactly the kind of thing he has needed to soothe a part of him that has been desperately hurt by the events of the last month.

He lets himself close his eyes first, doesn’t let himself think about the trust implicit in that action. He can’t be sure if Sebastian closes his eyes as well, but he feels safe anyway. It is something he never expected to feel with Sebastian within a hundred yards of him, but that doesn’t make it any less real.

“Hey Sebastian?” he whispers right before he drifts back into sleep.

“Hmm?” Sebastian murmurs back.

“Thank you.”

Sebastian doesn’t acknowledge the words, but that’s okay. Kurt knows he understands.

Kurt lets himself sink back into slumber, more peaceful than any he’s had in days, just as the sun peeks over the horizon. Beside him, Sebastian lets himself sleep too.

*****

Author’s Notes: Sorry for the emotional rollercoaster chapter, it was a long night for those poor boys! Next up we will definitely be seeing just what happens when Finn discovers the brother’s Smythe in his house, I know some of you are looking forward to it :)

Thank you as always for the wonderful reviews and feedback, they seriously make my day and I love hearing which parts resonated with you and what your theories are for what’s coming next. I hope you continue to enjoy, because I am having a blast sharing this with you.

Bonus Song: This is my Julian/Cooper song, at least as it represents them at this current time in the story. Make of it what you will ;)

Somebody That I Used To Know- Gotye (feat. Kimbra) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY


	8. Chapter 7

Kurt wakes up to a room flooded with sunshine, and a heart that feels a little lighter than it did the night before. 

The events of last night are already fading into a dreamlike sort of quality in his mind, and he can sense just a hint of apprehension starting to build in his muscles at the idea of having to face Sebastian after all the emotional upheavals of a few hours ago, but it is still only that – a tiny twitch of uncertainty that is not at all enough to bring on panic or stir him from the comfort of his bed at the moment.

Sebastian is still asleep next to him, with the sheet bunched up around his face and his feet sticking out near the bottom of the bed, breaths heavy and steady. It is such a rare thing to see Sebastian completely unguarded like this that Kurt can’t help but give in to the urge to just lay and watch him for a few quiet minutes. When he realizes he’s bordering on creepy he makes himself turn over and think about beginning the motions of starting the day.

He is determined to not let things get weird, and that includes not staring at the boy passed out in his bed, no matter how much of a fascinating picture it makes.

Kurt starts to lift the covers to try and slip out, but then Sebastian snuffles in his sleep, shifting and throwing an arm out over Kurt and trapping him against the mattress under its warm weight. Letting Sebastian cuddle him will definitely not help with the whole ‘not making it weird’ thing, but Kurt isn’t quite sure how he’s supposed to move now – especially if he doesn’t want to wake Sebastian, which he really doesn’t. Not when they are trapped in this position at least, and preferably not before he’s had a chance to at least brush his hair and teeth.

He’s still running through his options a few minutes later when Sebastian wakes up anyway. 

Kurt can tell the moment it happens, because Sebastian’s sleep-lax body goes all at once tense and tight, the arm around Kurt’s waist near rigid though still heavy across his stomach. Sebastian’s head is still smushed into the pillow, eyes closed in a way too clearly forced to be natural, and Kurt can practically hear him thinking.

“Um,” he hedges after a moment of awkward silence, “Good morning?”

Sebastian deflates all at once, letting out what sounds like a relieved sigh as he pulls his arm back toward himself and lets his eyes open. Kurt is a little startled to find that they are nearly emerald-colored in the morning sun, and catches himself wondering if that is what Sebastian’s eyes always look like in the morning before he can stop.

“Oh thank god,” Sebastian groans, scrubbing a hand over his face and blinking owlishly as he practically throws his body into a sitting position. “For a minute there I had no idea who I was going to find next to me. Believe it or not, you are not the worst of my options.”

“Lovely,” Kurt says, feeling sarcasm settle over him easily, replacing the sleepy warmth of a few minutes ago. It is not entirely unpleasant, and fits him like well-worn and well-loved clothing. “You know, when your first reaction upon waking is ‘where am I and who am I with?’ it might be time to rethink your life choices.”

“To be fair, usually my first thought is actually ‘where are my clothes?’ but I’m pretty sure ‘fuck you’ still stands.”

Kurt can’t help the laugh that escapes him, and doesn’t even try to hold it back when Sebastian turns to look at him with a matching grin. Kurt knows, in this moment, that they are okay. Last night has not altered them, and it is only now, as he is relieved of the fear, that he realizes just how big a fear it was.

He’d been stripped of his defenses last night, all his recent wounds laid bare, and - perhaps even more terrifying - then soothed as well. It is a strange phenomenon how it can sometimes feel more vulnerable allowing someone to make you feel better than it does just exposing the hurt in the first place. He’s not sure if after last night he could have survived being treated like spun glass by Sebastian of all people.

Kurt is also infinitely relieved that he feels more inclined to smirk at Sebastian than to kiss him. It sounds silly, but there is still a tiny bit of him that won’t allow him to deny that moment of tension between them, and he was perhaps more worried than he will ever admit that he would wake up to find himself irrevocably infatuated. Thank goodness that is not the case.

He’s about to prove that point by laying out a tirade against Sebastian’s usual choice of bedfellows (or backseat fellows as was the case last night apparently) when he catches sight of the clock on his bedside table, and lets out a tiny, panicked shriek instead.

It’s already after eleven, which means Finn is probably up, and Julian is downstairs. So much for Kurt’s plan to kick the brothers out in the morning before his own brother could wake up and start asking awkward questions. Now he only hopes Finn hasn’t been up long enough to really talk with Julian – or better yet maybe he won’t have even gotten out of bed yet. Sometimes Finn will stay in bed until noon playing video games, so it isn’t out of the realm of possibility.

No matter what, Kurt has to get up right this minute though, to either avert or mitigate any possible damage. Which means Sebastian needs to get up right this minute too, because there is no way Kurt’s leaving him all alone in the room – not after Sebastian proved himself to be a snoop the night before.

“Get up, get up, get up,” he chants, throwing back the sheets and nearly tripping out of bed, no longer thinking at all about brushing his hair or teeth or anything except ‘oh shit’.

“Do you have a caffeine drip I don’t know about plugged directly into a vein or what? Breathe, Kurt, jeez.”

“No, you have to get up,” Kurt insists, moving to Sebastian’s side of the bed to tug at him and get him moving. Sebastian is making it as difficult as possible of course, refusing to budge and smiling smugly at Kurt’s panic.

“I know having me in your bed can be a lot to handle, but I have to say this is a reaction I’ve never gotten before,” Sebastian ponders, “I’m not sure whether your enthusiastic panic is flattering or insulting though.”

“Sebastian, move,” Kurt insists, but Sebastian continues to ignore him.

“You know princess, I might be more inclined to listen if you could cut back on the harpy quality. I’m kinda operating on hangover status here, and the high pitched noises aren’t doing me any favors.”

“Yeah well Finn probably isn’t doing us any favors right now either,” Kurt snaps, “You know, what with him being downstairs talking to your brother right this instant about god knows what.”

That seems to get Sebastian’s attention finally, as the other boy pushes Kurt’s hand off from where it is tugging uselessly at his sleeve so that he can climb out of bed as well.

“Why didn’t you fucking say something?” he snaps back, glaring at Kurt like Kurt’s the one whose been dawdling all this time. “He could’ve blown our cover a hundred times over by now.”

“Oh yes, clearly I’m the one at fault here,” Kurt mocks, pushing Sebastian ahead of him toward the door.

“It’s your half-wit of a brother who’s going to ruin everything.”

“It’s you and your brother who showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night with no warning, so forgive me if I’m not taking the blame for this,” Kurt snipes, giving an unnecessary extra shove to Sebastian’s shoulder to get him to turn down the stairs.

“Yeah well if you weren’t so fucking fascinating to my brother we wouldn’t have had to be here in the first place.”

“How is that my fault?” Kurt asks disbelievingly.

“It just is.”

Sebastian is glaring at him sullenly and for a full ten seconds Kurt is oh-so-tempted to just stay here in the hallway and leave Finn to it, let him blow this whole thing out of the water if it’ll mean Kurt doesn’t have to see that glare for the rest of the summer. But then he thinks of New York and NYADA and the promise of a future he’s only ever dreamed about, and he sighs.

“Look, we can stand here and argue or we can go try and keep this whole ship from sinking,” he says plainly, “So what’s it going to be?”

Kurt almost thinks Sebastian might be having the same thoughts about ending the whole thing, because he pauses for a half second too long. In the end though he just shifts the glare to a disinterested sneer instead, as if he’s doing Kurt a favor by trying to keep this lie going.

“Fine, but only because my head hurts too much to keep arguing until I get some aspirin and coffee.”

Kurt rolls his eyes in lieu of responding, and tugs at Sebastian’s shirt to get them both moving again. As much as he sadistically wants to continue to argue as shrilly as possible, just to get under Sebastian’s skin, they really do need to do damage control or everything is going to fall apart before they have a chance to screw it up themselves.

“C’mon then, let’s go see what’s happening. If Finn isn’t out of his room yet I might even give you that coffee before I kick you out.”

All of Kurt’s hopes that perhaps Finn is still asleep are dashed halfway down the hall, when he can begin to clearly hear the sound of morning cartoons from the television. 

He supposes Julian might be a cartoon kind of guy, but it seems far more likely that Finn is up and going about what has become his typical summer morning routine. Namely, stumbling into the kitchen to pour half a box of cereal and a quart of milk into a mixing bowl and then hauling that out to the couch where he practically shovels it in his mouth with a giant spoon while staring at cartoons on the tv and laughing with his mouth full. 

Kurt had been charmed by the display for exactly two seconds on the first morning of summer. Now he just tolerates it as another of Finn’s quirks.

“Shit,” he mutters, and Sebastian gives him a wary look. They both step more quickly, suddenly propelled by fear of what they’re about to stumble into.

What they actually find is both more and less strange than Kurt expected.

Finn and Julian are sitting next to each other on the couch, sharing a blanket and eating out of twin mixing bowls as they stare raptly at the television.

“Good morning,” Kurt says slowly as he steps fully into the living room, leaving Sebastian lingering a little behind, “Um, everything okay down here?”

“Sure,” Finn says around a mouthful of rainbow colored half-masticated cereal, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“No reason,” Kurt says quickly, “Just, ah, thought you might have been surprised by the strange man on our couch this morning.”

“Who Julian?” Finn says, thankfully after swallowing, “Nah. I mean, at first I was a little wary, because there aren’t usually random dudes sleeping on our couch. But he told me he belonged to you, so I figured he was cool.”

Kurt arches an eyebrow at the explanation, which shoots up even further when Julian turns to grin at him, clearly pleased with himself at having declared himself Kurt’s.

“Really?” Kurt says, voice low and a little dangerous, “He said that huh?”

“Yep,” Finn confirms, focusing back on the little animated people on screen. “Why, is he not yours?”

“Not exactly,” Kurt says, darting a glance back at Sebastian who is thankfully looking amused rather than murderous, “Though I suppose it’s as good an explanation as any.”

“Aw c’mon sweetheart,” Julian croons, smirking that Smythe smirk (seriously, they must have a patent or something). “Don’t I belong to you just a little bit? My heart certainly does.”

“You are so full of shit,” Kurt says, laughing at Julian’s shocked expression, “And you’re also kind of an idiot, so it’s no wonder you and Finn seem to be getting along so well.”

Finn grins at the mention of his name, though it falls to a pout when he works out what Kurt’s actually said. “Hey,” he complains, “Not nice.”

Kurt winks at him fondly, before turning to pull Sebastian more fully into the room. Apparently they don’t have too much damage control to do, but Finn hasn’t seen Sebastian yet which means Kurt is going to have to play the next few minutes just right to keep Julian from suspecting anything is amiss. It’s one thing for him to know that Kurt hasn’t told his dad about a boyfriend yet, it is entirely another to hear Kurt’s brother start yelling about how much Kurt dislikes said boyfriend.

Mostly, Kurt decides, it seems he’s going to have to make his fake relationship a bit more official, which is annoying but not entirely unexpected. It would have been naïve to think he could make it through the whole summer without any of his family finding out. It’s going to be hard to explain his sudden status as a boyfriend once again, but it’ll also probably give the whole ruse a better chance of succeeding for the next two months. After all, at this point all it would take is one unexpected phone call from one of Sebastian’s parents to his dad to start unraveling it all. Maybe Finn will be the easiest place to start; at least Kurt won’t have to worry about Finn freaking out about some new boyfriend defiling his baby like his dad will.

Or maybe Finn won’t be so easy after all.

Finn glances up when Kurt pulls Sebastian forward, and his eyes widen briefly before narrowing. He sets his bowl down on the coffee table with a hard thunk, colored milk sloshing dangerously close to the lip though not quite spilling over, and pushes off the couch to come and tower over them both before Kurt can even think about explaining.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Finn demands, glaring at Sebastian and trying to use every single bit of the inch and a half he has on the boy to intimidate.

“Finn, calm down,” Kurt chides glaring at him and Sebastian too, who is bristling under Finn’s hard stare and looks about two seconds away from saying something scathing.

“He shouldn’t be here!” Finn insists, and then looks startled when Julian starts laughing behind them.

“Damn, I didn’t peg you as the overprotective brother type,” Julian says, looking at Finn appraisingly. “It’s cute that you want to protect your little brother from illicit sleepovers, but believe me if Seb’s involved the damage is already done. Probably several times over.”

“Julian, shut up please,” Kurt says as pleasantly as he can, “And Finn, will you just come with me into the kitchen for a minute and I’ll explain.”

Finn looks like he wants to argue, but another sharp look from Kurt and he keeps his mouth shut though he’s still scowling.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Kurt says to Sebastian, “Try not to kill your brother and I’ll try not to kill mine.”

Sebastian pulls his gaze from where he’s been sneering at Finn to grin at Kurt instead. “I’ll try, but no promises.”

“Good enough,” Kurt sighs, and lets go of Sebastian’s arm to grab onto Finn instead.

He steers them quickly toward the kitchen, stopping himself from laughing too loudly when he sees Sebastian smack Julian in the back of the head as he moves around the couch to sit down. Sebastian hears the aborted snort though and grins even wider when he catches Kurt’s eye. Kurt can’t help smiling back before pushing Finn completely out of the room and schooling his features back into a more serious expression.

“Dude what is that guy doing here?” Finn asks again the moment they’re in the kitchen and out of sight of the other boys. His voice is urgent but thankfully quieter than before. “I thought you hated him!”

“I do,” Kurt says, though he knows it’s not really true. And, he realizes a split second later, he can’t even say it to Finn if he’s going to convince his brother that he’s actually dating Sebastian. “I mean I did,” he corrects.

“I know you and Blaine have been preaching about forgiveness for the last few months, but c’mon! Since when are you inviting him to our house?” Finn looks so incredibly confused and upset, yet he still thinks to wince at Kurt sympathetically when he says Blaine’s name aloud. It’s one of the reasons Kurt knows that Finn is really his brother now, and not just his friend.

“I’m inviting him to the house,” Kurt begins, takes a deep breath to steel himself, “Since he’s kind of my boyfriend now.”

The kitchen is dead quiet, nothing but an intermittent drip from the faucet and the hum of the refrigerator to be heard. Kurt is staring hard at the countertop, so afraid of what he might see in Finn’s eyes. He’s prepared for shock, maybe even for anger, but he’s scared what he’s actually going to see is disappointment. 

Kurt knows that even though everyone has been sympathetic to him about his situation, they all also assume he’s just waiting for Blaine to come back. Which he is, he just can’t say it, and he’s afraid that once they find out about Sebastian – without knowing the full story – they are going to think the worst of him. Hell, he’d probably think the worst of him in this situation. It certainly doesn’t look good to start dating the guy that has been dubbed ‘the slutty meerkat’ in Glee club just weeks after the guy you claim to love skips town for the summer.

When the silence goes on a beat too long, Kurt finally forces himself to look up. What is actually in Finn’s eyes makes him feel like crying.

All he can see reflected at him is compassion.

“Dude,” Finn says, “Okay then.”

That’s all he seems able to manage but it’s enough. It is more than Kurt hoped for at least.

“It isn’t a big deal,” Kurt tries to explain anyway, because at the end of the summer he’s going to have to unravel the lies and he doesn’t want to have to work harder at that then necessary. Briefly he even again considers just telling Finn the truth, but as wonderful as Finn can be there is no way he’d be able to keep a secret this big for that long and Kurt can’t risk it. Finn can’t even manage to not tattle on himself most days, about things like eating cookies before dinner.

“It’s cool, you don’t have to explain,” Finn cuts him off, “You’re talking to the guy who spent two years dating one girl while still half in love with another remember?”

Kurt does remember, but he still wants to say something, he just wishes he knew what. There is really nothing he can say that will make dating Sebastian sound any less weird than it already does, and if he says too much to minimize the relationship he might as well just admit to it all.

“Wait,” Finn adds before Kurt can manage to talk himself into or out of saying more, “You do actually have to explain a little bit, because I thought you were dating Julian.”

Finn looks perplexed again, and the expression only deepens when Kurt laughs.

“No, I am definitely not dating Julian.”

“But he said…”

“Whatever he told you, he only said it because he’s trying to push his brother’s buttons, believe me.”

Finn still looks confused. “Why would his brother care if he was dating you?”

“Um, because I’m dating his brother?” Kurt responds, suddenly feeling a lot more confused himself.

“He’s SEBASTIAN’S brother?” Finn nearly shouts, “No way, he was way too cool of a dude to be brothers with that guy.”

“Some people would say the same about us,” Kurt responds drily. 

Finn gives him a sympathetic smile, “Don’t worry Kurt, I think you’re cool enough to be my brother.”

“I kinda meant it the other way around,” Kurt admits, and Finn’s rubber band expressions once more shift into a frown.

“So you’re dating brothers then?”

“No Finn.”

“But they both slept here last night.”

“Yes, yes they did.”

“Oh god,” Finn moans, sinking down into a kitchen chair and looking at Kurt with a mixture of horror and pride, before whispering, “It’s a sex thing isn’t it?”

It’s Kurt’s turn to nearly shout. “NO! Oh my god Finn, why would you say that?”

“Because you had them both here all night when Burt was gone!”

“And that automatically screams orgy to you?!”

“I don’t know! Puck is always telling me that gay guys get way more sex than the rest of us, and Blaine always seemed super obsessed with us being brothers. How am I supposed to know it’s not some kind of thing?”

“Maybe by using logic?” Kurt accuses, “And Blaine was not obsessed with us being brothers.”

“Yeah dude, he kinda was,” Finn says, like he’s sorry to have to be the one to break the news. Kurt wants to argue the point but Finn gets a faraway look in his eye just then as if he’s realized something, and his face is getting more and more horrified as his own thoughts spin out of control.

“Oh shit,” he mumbles, looking at Kurt like a deer in the headlights, “Julian was being super nice to me this morning, was that code or something? Am I going to have to help you like, reciprocate this whole thing? You know, brothers for brothers?”

“This is not happening,” Kurt moans, burying his face in his hands, “I am not having this conversation right now.”

“I mean, I guess Julian’s not a bad looking dude, it might not be too bad. But you’re my brother, and Sebastian’s always looking at me like he’s about to start laughing – and it is super hard to keep a boner going when someone is laughing at you, believe me I should know, I slept with Santana – so I’m not so sure if I’ll be able to hold up my end…”

“Finn! You do realize you’re talking yourself into a gay four-way right now don’t you?”

Finn is gaping at him, clearly searching for words or denials or something but he never gets the chance because Julian is strutting into the room and cutting in.

“Four-way huh? Yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it.”

When Finn and Kurt both turn to stare at him his grin tilts up a little more.

“I know, I know, it sounds like fun. But the truth of the matter is, the more dicks involved, the less likely yours is gonna end up being the one getting touched. Guys can be really selfish creatures when it comes to group sex, which was a rather disappointing discovery to make. Who knew porn had been lying to me all those years?”

“My brother, ladies and gentlemen,” Sebastian adds, rolling his eyes as he too walks into the kitchen. He makes a beeline for the coffeemaker, and Kurt starts pulling out the beans and grinder on autopilot.

They work in quiet tandem once more, moving around each other to fill the coffee pot and pull out filters. Julian watches them with a little considering smile, which Kurt sees morphs into a smirk whenever the boy glances over at Finn – who is still looking like he’s trying to puzzle things out.

“So wait, I don’t have to have sex with anyone right?” Finn asks a minute later. 

Kurt can’t help but drop his head against the cupboards at that, a groan of frustration escaping him. He is startled from his agitation by a gentle, commiserating touch on his back. The hand disappears just as quickly, and when he looks up he finds Sebastian glaring at his own palm as if it has betrayed him.

“No Finn, you don’t have to have sex with anyone,” Kurt confirms after a moment, pulling his eyes away from Sebastian.

“You make it sound like sex with me would be a chore,” Julian pouts exaggeratedly, “Sex isn’t a have to with me, it’s a get to. Right Kurt?”

Finn looks up sharply, and Kurt is seriously going to kill them both.

“Cut it out Julian,” Sebastian says lazily before Kurt can defend himself. “Can’t you see you’re confusing bigfoot over here?”

“Hey!” Finn says indignantly, “Watch it with the tall jokes. You aren’t so little yourself either you know.”

“Oh I can show you just how ‘not little’ I am if you’d like,” Sebastian drawls, placing a suggestive hand on the waistband of his sweats, “Though I’m sure that’s something Kurt could clear up for you as well.”

“Coffee!” Kurt says loudly, “I think the coffee’s ready, who wants coffee?”

Julian is laughing again, and Sebastian is smirking at him like he just won some competition that Kurt didn’t even realize they were in, but the distraction is enough to thankfully get them off the subject of any more sex talk.

When he’s done smirking (though Kurt is pretty sure it’ll be back soon, Sebastian seems incapable of going more than five minutes without the sneer some days) he turns to start rooting around in the cupboards for mugs. Kurt tilts his head subtly in the right direction; after all Sebastian should probably have some idea about where things are in his house. He knows they’ve established the ‘my dad doesn’t know we’re dating’ thing, but obviously the Smythe clan still thinks their youngest spends a fair amount of time at the Hummel home – even if just as ‘friends’.

Sebastian gives him a tiny genuine smile for his trouble, and opens the right drawer to pull out four mugs. Kurt immediately takes one of them and puts it back, grabbing a tall glass instead which he puts in front of Finn. Sebastian looks inquisitive but doesn’t say anything, just pouring coffee into the three remaining mugs.

“Here,” Kurt says, plunking down the milk and a bottle of Hershey syrup in front of Finn, who is finally smiling again.

“Chocolate milk?” Julian asks with a raised eyebrow, “Really?”

“It’s delicious,” Finn mumbles, squeezing about half the bottle of syrup into his glass of milk.

“Huh,” Julian says, but doesn’t comment further. Sebastian hands him a mug of his own, he takes his coffee black Kurt notices, before handing off a mug to Kurt as well.

Kurt is about to hand it back and say ‘splash of cream, half a spoon of sugar’ because Sebastian didn’t even ask and Kurt is very particular about his coffee, but of course he can’t do that. If they’re boyfriends, they should already know those things. He resigns himself to choking down a bad cup of coffee and takes a tentative sip while Sebastian watches him, his own mug of coffee cupped in two hands and held up to his face as if he’s waiting for Kurt’s reaction before drinking his own.

Surprise colors Kurt’s features when that first sip tastes exactly right, and he can’t help the little moan of pleasure that escapes him as the warm, liquid perfection hits his tongue. There’s nothing like that first sip of good coffee in the morning, especially considering it was unexpected.

Sebastian is smiling at him again, the tilt of his lips halfway between amused and fond, and finally takes a drink from his own mug. Kurt can’t tear his eyes away as Sebastian’s flutter shut as the caffeine hits him, and Sebastian lets out a pleased little hum of his own. When his eyes open they catch Kurt’s staring at him and the smile widens.

Embarrassed at being caught out, Kurt quickly averts his gaze and takes another hasty sip of coffee, which is once again perfect. Unbidden, the memory of that day weeks ago in the Lima Bean, and one perfect mocha being slid across the table to him despite the fact that he hadn’t specified his coffee order, comes back to him and when he chances another glance Sebastian’s way his gaze is appraising.

Apparently Sebastian can sense the shift, because his smile turns down just a little and if Kurt didn’t know better he’d swear the other boy was blushing just a bit. He doesn’t get a chance to do anything about it though, because at that moment they all startle at the sound of the front door slamming.

“Kurt, you awake?” 

Burt’s voice echoes through the house along with the sound of shuffling and movement.

“Burt don’t shout!” Carole’s voice admonishes, “What if the boys are still sleeping?”

“It’s after noon Carole, and besides I promise you Kurt would want to be woken up for this.”

They can hear Carole let out a little fond, exasperated sigh as the couple moves further into the house – heading toward the four boys in the kitchen.

“Kurt! You gotta get down here kid, there’s an honest to god brand new Jag parked outside, it’s even that blue you love so much! Get your butt down here- oh.”

His dad and Carole walk into the kitchen then, and his dad is still calling back over his shoulder as if he’s calling to Kurt in his room. When they see the tableau of the four frozen boys they all stare at each other for a long few seconds and Kurt wonders how he ever panicked about Finn this morning, because obviously that was just tempting fate to make it worse. So, so much worse.

“Uh, that’d be mine,” Julian says after a minute, putting an easy smile back on his face and standing to offer a hand to Burt, “The car I mean. You’re welcome to take a look at it if you’d like.”

Burt looks momentarily like a kid in a candy store, reaching out to shake Julian’s hand automatically, before he’s able to school his features into a more stern look once more.

“And who’re you then?” he asks gruffly, and Kurt can tell he’s giving Julian’s hand an extra squeeze. To Julian’s credit he doesn’t flinch at all, his smile firmly in place, and Kurt wonders how many intimidating fathers the guy has dealt with over the years.

“Oh that’s Julian,” Finn supplies helpfully, looking up at them all while wearing a milk mustache. “He belongs to Kurt.”

“Oh really?” Burt says, shooting an even sterner look at Kurt.

“No dad, he’s just a…well a friend.”

“He’s Sebastian’s brother,” Finn adds again, “Apparently he’s Kurt’s boyfriend now.”

Finn jerks a helpful thumb in Sebastian’s direction, and Sebastian looks much less composed under the glare that Burt shoots him. In fact he looks like he might be trying to disappear into the countertop behind him. He gets a hold of himself after a second though, and puts a shakier version of Julian’s easy smile on his face. Kurt is glad he doesn’t do something stupid like hold out a hand of his own to shake, because of course Julian assumes that the only new piece of information in all this is the title of ‘boyfriend’ and not the boy himself.

“Hi,” Sebastian says after a minute, and then looks at Kurt pleadingly. Kurt wishes he could just run and hide in his room until all of this sorts itself out, but he has to hold up his end of the fake dating deal, NYADA he tells himself think of NYADA.

“Yeah, um we were going to tell you,” Kurt says hurriedly, “I was just waiting for the right time, which apparently is now.”

“And by ‘now’ you mean the morning I walk in to find my son sitting in his pajamas with strange men in my kitchen?” Burt asks.

“Um,” Kurt bites his lip, looks at his dad with every bit of pleading he can (using the eyes that have gotten him designer clothes despite a tight budget over the years), “They kind of spent the night.”

Burt’s face goes red then pale as blood rushes in and out. Finally he just lets out one big sigh and sinks into the kitchen chair across from Julian.

“Oh god,” he mumbles, not really looking at any of them, “This is a sex thing isn’t it?”

******

After some more indignant squeaks and hasty denials, Kurt finally convinced his dad to hold off on the interrogation until the Smythe brothers are on their way back home. Burt grumbles about it, but Carole whispers something in his ear that has him agreeing. He insists on sitting right where he is in the kitchen though, arms folded sternly across his chest, as Kurt walks the boys to the door and says his goodbyes. Carole ushers Finn (and his chocolate milk) back upstairs, so that Kurt is left alone at the front door with Sebastian and Julian.

Sebastian has swapped out the sweats for his pants, but he’s got his shirt from last night thrown over his shoulder – wearing Kurt’s grey t-shirt still instead. He’d made the good argument that the old shirt still smelled an awful lot like smoke and spilled liquor, and wearing it while sitting next to Julian for two hours on the drive home might not be the best idea. 

Later Kurt will wonder just what Sebastian’s plan had been if the boys had never come to his house, as obviously he’d then be wearing the bar-scented shirt, but he doesn’t think to ask in the moment mostly because the sight of Sebastian in his clothing is honestly still a bit distracting, as loathe as he is to admit it. He also doesn’t like the weird little twist he gets in his gut when he thinks that maybe Sebastian would have just borrowed a shirt from last night’s random in the end anyway.

“Thanks again for letting me crash here,” Julian says sincerely, interrupting Kurt’s thoughts, “Sorry that the whole sordid affair came to light this way.”

He’s smirking at Sebastian who looks torn between being pleased at being considered sordid, and angry at his brother for what was probably meant as an insult.

“It’s fine,” Kurt says, shoving the older boy none-too-subtly down the step of the porch and toward the car, “Just get out of here now before he changes his mind and brings out the shotgun. I’ll be able to smooth it over.”

Julian grins at the gun comment, but starts strolling to his car anyway. “If it’ll help, I can come back with the Jag next week and let him take it for a spin.”

“I’ll let you know,” Kurt mutters, because it might be an ace in his pocket after all.

Julian gives one more wave before jogging the rest of the way to the car. Instead of climbing in though, he leans nonchalantly against the driver’s side door and stares back at them.

“He’s waiting for me to kiss you,” Sebastian mutters darkly, “He’s such a fucking voyeur sometimes.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, because he’s not really sure what else there is to say. 

He feels fidgety all of a sudden though, unsure of where to look or what to do with his hands. They’ve been fine all morning, but what if this is the thing that makes last night weird? Logically he knows it was just a matter of time before he had to kiss Sebastian again – even briefly – because it was a part of the whole charade, but he just hadn’t expected it to be so soon.

“Are you, um…are you going to kiss me?” he asks, because Sebastian is still glaring at his brother and hasn’t moved from where he’s standing in front of Kurt (and he’s close too, how did Kurt not realize how close they had been standing until now?)

“Don’t really have a choice, do I?” Sebastian says, but when he finally turns to look down at Kurt, Kurt can see he looks a little unsure himself.

Kurt is positive things are getting awkward fast, but then the hesitation in Sebastian’s eyes is wiped away by a cocky gleam.

“Let’s try to keep it PG though, okay Hummel? I don’t really fancy having you trying to eat my face in front of my brother.”

“Yeah well I don’t want to have to explain to my dad my sudden predilection for whiskey as a disinfectant either, so how about you just keep your tongue in your mouth this time Smythe.”

Kurt grins and Sebastian smiles back, and then he’s leaning down and Kurt can’t stop his eyes from slipping closed. It is just a brief press, less intense than their last but more than that initial brush in the Smythe hallway nearly two weeks ago, but Kurt can’t help but feel it down to his toes anyway.

Sebastian’s lips are coffee-warm against his own, and Kurt’s top lip slots perfectly between them like it was made to fit there. He feels one of Sebastian’s arms come up around his waist to reel him in closer, and presses his body forward obligingly. Sebastian’s mouth is barely moving over his, just the tiniest little fluttering pecks and retreats, and Kurt has to stop himself for pushing in for more. God he’s missed kissing, since Blaine’s been gone.

Sebastian’s other hand comes up to twine fingers in the back of his hair, holding Kurt in place so that he can press a few more short, hard kisses against his lips, and then he’s pulling back and away. They are still pressed against one another though, neither one stepping back as they stare at each other across the small distance now between their faces.

Kurt bites his cheek to keep himself from darting out a tongue to lick along his own lips, chasing some unknown taste he’s sure is there, and Sebastian can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Kurt’s mouth. All of Kurt’s fears about this being weird are eclipsed by this new feeling of want which is just as perplexing and confusing, and he’s about so say or do something monumentally stupid, like go up on his toes for one more kiss, when Julian’s wolf-whistle cuts through the moment.

“Damn boys, for a kiss that shoulda been Disney appropriate, you certainly made it look hot!”

Sebastian lets go of Kurt then completely, stepping back and off the porch and shoving his hands deep into his pockets. Kurt crosses his own arms in front of him, feeling both defensive and a little bit lost. True to form, Sebastian saves him from feeling anything for long though, by ruining a confusing moment with a wink and a leer.

“See ya Kurt,” he calls, laughing when Kurt sticks out his tongue in retaliation. He jogs toward the car then, flipping Julian the bird at something his brother says, and then he’s folding himself into the front seat and waving at Kurt one more time before shutting the door.

Kurt rolls his eyes but waves back, glad that all it takes is one smug grin from Sebastian to have him forgetting all about any tension between them. It’s just that it’s been so long since he was properly kissed (the club doesn’t count, he tells himself, that had been all raw jealous action and nothing more) so of course he’d responded. He tells himself he would have felt those same fluttery feelings in his gut if it had been Puck, or hell even Rachel, that had kissed him. It’s just that he’s missing Blaine and his body got confused.

Whatever the truth of it might be, Kurt’s mind seems to accept the explanation for the moment and he shakes off any linger doubts as he walks back into the house to meet his executioner.

****

In the end, the conversation with his dad isn’t as awful or as long as he expected it to be. Mostly Burt looks at him like he’s trying to determine if the whole thing is some form of revenge against Blaine for leaving, though Kurt can’t tell if his dad thinks that would be a good thing or not. He knows his dad has seen his hurt over the break-up, even if he has no idea how to talk to Kurt about it.

“Look kid,” he interrupts finally, putting an end to Kurt’s attempt at explanation, “I’m not gonna pretend to understand how this whole thing started, but I know you and Blaine forgave Sebastian a long time ago for all the crap he pulled. And I know I wasn’t much better than him at some points in my own awful teen years, bless your mother for having forgiven me so many of my sins. So all I really want to know is are you happy?”

That gives Kurt pause, because he’s trying his best to not lie to his dad more than necessary about this whole thing, and that seems like an important question. His immediate thought is ‘No, of course I’m not happy! The boy I love left me and I’m having to pretend to date a guy I can’t stand for an entire summer, or else give up on all my dreams and plans!’ Not that he can say any of that to his dad of course.

After a moment of consideration though, he finds that it isn’t quite the truth anyway. He thinks about Sebastian’s righteous indignation and anger on his behalf last night, he thinks about laughing and joking at the Smythe dinner table, he thinks about cheering for Olivia at the club and flirting harmlessly with Julian, and he realizes that while he may not be really happy yet, he’s a hell of a lot less sad.

“Yeah,” he answers, “He’s making me happier.”

It is the most unexpected truth of all in these last three weeks.

“Good,” Burt sighs, “That’s all I really care about kiddo, you know that.”

“Sure,” Kurt says, tries to smile even though he is still feeling stunned by his own admission.

“I’m not gonna say I’m thrilled about him spending the night either,” Burt continues, “But you’re almost grown up and gone anyway so I won’t stop ya if it’s what you want to do. I just ask that you try to keep me from seeing or hearing anything that’d mortify us both, okay?”

“Dad!” Kurt shrieks, face flamingly red, “It’s not- I wouldn’t...god, can we not talk about stuff like that please?”

“Sure thing bud,” Burt chuckles. He smiles at Kurt genuinely then, before getting a thoughtful look. 

“Do you think you could really get Julian to bring that car back though?” Burt asks, “I sure would love to get a chance to poke around under the hood.”

“Oh dad,” Kurt says smiling, “I can do so so much better than that.”

His smile just gets bigger as he spends the next hour or so regaling his dad with stories about the Smythe garage and Greg’s Aston Martin. It is so easy that by the time he’s heading upstairs to finally take a shower he’s smiling more than he has in days.

Just as he’s grabbing his towel his phone buzzes, and three little words bring nerves crashing back in. It’s a text from Sebastian, who’s probably just gotten home.

To Kurt (2:49 pm): We’ve got trouble.


	9. Chapter 8

Sebastian is waiting for him by the garage when he pulls up.

It’s Saturday, the last day in June, and Kurt’s been on pins and needles for days. After that cryptic text Sebastian hadn’t replied to any of Kurt’s frantic queries or calls for nearly three hours, and when he finally did pick up later in the evening it had just been to growl ‘I’ll call you later’ before hanging up on Kurt again.

Kurt’s first order of business, should their fake relationship still exist after whatever is about to go down tonight, is to teach Sebastian some damn phone manners.

The worst part is that he’d spent all of Friday answering a barrage of texts and phone calls from Rachel, as well as hiding in his room once Puck showed up pouting that Kurt was letting the Gargler cuddle him when Puck had clearly offered first. Thank god the rest of his friends were off on vacations (Artie and Mercedes), at camp (Tina, Sugar and Brittney), or already settling in to their new college towns (nearly everyone else) or the fallout would have been even worse. The only other saving grace was that, according to Rachel, Blaine was enforcing the ‘total communication blackout’ thing with everyone in Ohio except for family, so there was only a slim chance that any news would reach him before Kurt had a chance to explain.

However, he also couldn’t help but wonder the entire time if he was putting in all this effort to maintain a lie that had already been exposed. What if he was making excuses to Rachel (no Rachel, he isn’t after our set lists. We graduated remember?) or dodging Puck (Finn can’t you distract him with video games or something? I’d really like to get through my manicure in peace. No I won’t paint your toenails…Unless you let me choose the color…Fine you can both come in- but no snuggling!) for no reason at all?

But of course Sebastian never called him back, so Kurt spent the day fending off questions and the night trolling online ads to ‘make money fast’ should the deal fall through.

He’d finally gotten a reply from Sebastian last night at around nine, and it really wasn’t any sort of answer at all.

To Kurt (9:09 pm): Can you be here at 4 tomorrow?

To Sebastian (9:10 pm): Finally! What happened? What trouble? You cannot send messages like that and then not answer your phone!

To Kurt (9:10 pm): 4, yes or no.

To Sebastian (9:11 pm): I despise you. Fine, yes I’ll be there, though I’m not sure what you expect me to say once I show up if I don’t even know what I’m walking into.

To Kurt (9:13 pm): Don’t need you to say anything. Just need your body.

To Sebastian (9:14 pm): Um…did you mean that text for someone else?

To Sebastian (9:16 pm): Or is this one of your really bad jokes?

To Sebastian (9:17 pm): Julian is that you? Give Sebastian his phone back.

To Sebastian (9:18 pm): Sebastian?

To Sebastian (9:19 pm): You are ignoring me. I can’t believe you’re ignoring me. I hate you so much.

To Kurt (9:20 pm): See you at 4.

To Sebastian (9:21 pm): FML. See you at 4.

So it is naturally with much trepidation that Kurt climbs out of the car at just three minutes after four o’clock.

“You’re late,” Sebastian states the minute Kurt’s feet hit the drive. He pushes himself off the wall of the garage where he’d been lounging to stalk toward Kurt looking extremely put out.

“And you’re a jackass. Since we’re sharing truths and all,” Kurt responds, crossing his arms defensively. He’s going to be so pissed if he drove all the way out here just to hear the deal is off.

“Whatever, just hurry up. We need to get set up,” Sebastian says, rolling his eyes and pivoting to walk up to the house instead, leaving Kurt no choice but to follow after.

“Set up for what? Are you going to tell me what kind of trouble we’re in here any time soon?”

“I don’t know,” Sebastian says with a shrug, not slowing his march up the drive.

“You don’t know what the trouble is or you don’t know if you’re going to tell me?”

“Maybe a little of both,” Sebastian says, turning just enough to shoot Kurt a smug little smile.

“Well it can’t be that bad if you’re able to grin about it.”

Sebastian’s smile drops instantly, and the scowl he’s now wearing much better matches Kurt’s own feelings on the situation.

“I’m not sure what’s wrong, I just know something is,” he admits, “All I know is that when we got home on Thursday Julian disappeared for twenty minutes and then my mom came and told me she wanted to ‘have a sit down’ with the both of us today. She looked upset, but she wouldn’t tell me what it was about. She said it was important we both be there.”

Kurt can feel the blood draining from his face and he stumbles a little on the step up to the front door. He has prepared himself for Sebastian to tell him the jig is up, but he is not prepared at all to have to face an angry or disappointed mother.

“But,” Kurt protests weakly, picking up his pace to match Sebastian’s quick steps up the staircase toward his bedroom, “How could Julian have told her anything? He doesn’t know anything…does he?”

“I told you Kurt, I don’t know,” Sebastian spits out angrily, “Maybe he snooped that night after we went to bed and found something incriminating, maybe your freakishly tall brother let something slip and we didn’t realize. I. Don’t. Know. All I do know is that we are expected to have some kind of important discussion with my mom today, and it doesn’t sound good.”

“You’d think you could at least have given me some warning! I didn’t dress for parental confrontation you know,” Kurt grumbles.

Sebastian eyes his outfit and smirks just a little more. “You would have things like outfits for confrontations wouldn’t you? And this is your warning, we don’t have to talk with her ‘til five when she gets back from her weekly tea thing with the girls from the club.”

“So why are we rushing then?” Kurt can’t help but snap, because he’s been practically running after Sebastian up until now.

“I told you, we need to get set up.”

“Okay that is it.” Kurt comes to a halt in the middle of the upstairs hallway, not far from where he and Sebastian first kissed (not that he’s thinking about that sort of thing of course). “I have put up with your ignoring me and your cryptic non-answers for long enough. You can either tell me what the hell is going on, or I’m leaving and you can deal with your mother on your own.”

Sebastian scowls at him, but throws up his hands in defeat. “Fine, can we at least wait until we get to my room, or is that too much to ask?”

“Fine,” Kurt repeats back, stalking past as if to lead the charge. He hates that he has to pause a little sheepishly just a few steps further on as he has no idea which door leads to Sebastian’s room.

Sebastian, never one to let things slide, laughs meanly at him, but pushes him toward the right door in the end.

For a moment, when the door first swings to, Kurt forgets all of his questions and worries.

It is nothing like he expected, which seems to be nearly a running theme when it comes to Sebastian and his family. Again he’s not sure exactly what he had expected, but it was probably something along the lines of what he’d found in Blaine’s bedroom. Dark colors, framed prints, trophies and knick-knacks that spoke of a private school life and understated, expensive taste. Sebastian’s room, though, is all light.

There are huge windows along one wall, thrown open to welcome in the summer air and sunshine, and with the cream-colored walls and bright eggshell linens on the bed the whole room seems to glow from it. The furniture is dark wood, but it shines brightly too and only seems to enhance instead of darken. There is art on the walls, lots of watercolors and abstract designs, things that feel nearly playful which is a word Kurt never thought he’d be associating with Sebastian Smythe. There are framed photos too, some color and some black and white, and Kurt is just itching to look at them all. 

There is a hamper in the corner, with half-spilled laundry hanging out over the lip, and all around the room on dresser and desk, bedside table and floor, are stacks upon stacks of books. From what Kurt can see they span genres, fantasy mixing with political theory, biographies stacked atop fiction. Many of them have pages marked, with bookmarks or slips of paper or, in one case, what look like theater tickets, and Kurt wonders if Sebastian is really reading them all at the same time.

The room feels warm, and not just from the summer breeze. It is cozy and inviting, and Kurt can suddenly picture all too clearly spending lazy afternoons sprawled across the bed or window seat reading in companionable silence, interrupted from time to time to read aloud the particularly good bits to each other. There is even an abandoned china cup with a tea bag set beside it that adds to the image, and makes Kurt think of all those English countryside romance novels he used to steal from his mom’s old collection.

It feels like he’s getting a peek at a side of Sebastian that very rarely makes itself known, and he’s not quite sure what to say. He wishes, just a bit, that he was drunk like Sebastian had been when Kurt’s room was the one on display, if only because the expectations of his reaction would be dramatically lessened.

In another strange turn of events, Sebastian is actually still hovering by the door looking completely ill at ease and fidgety in a way that he never ever is. When Kurt turns back and forces the boy to meet his eyes, he is surprised to see that Sebastian looks vulnerable, nerves and tension thrumming through him nearly audibly as he waits for Kurt to pass judgment.

Kurt knows he needs to say something, anything, to break the growing silence between them, but he is very much afraid that if he opens his mouth what is going to come out is, ‘I want to live here’ which would not be appropriate at all – even if it is the truth.

“It’s not what I expected,” he settles for in the end, parroting back Sebastian’s own words from the other night.

It seems enough to shake Sebastian from his nervous energy, because in the next moment he is pushing off the doorframe and striding into the room more fully, all ego and confidence once more. Somehow the room still makes the image softer though, or perhaps Kurt is simply growing fonder of the bravado than he’d like to admit.

“Let me guess, you pictured something closer to a brothel right?” Sebastian asks teasingly.

“More like one part lounge, one part evil lair,” Kurt corrects, smiling back.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Sebastian says with a shrug, sprawling out over the window seat so that he is framed in late afternoon sunlight.

“If there’s one thing you’ve never been, it’s disappointing,” Kurt murmurs, eyes drifting over the boy who he can’t help but see differently here.

Sebastian’s smile loses a bit of it’s edge, looking more genuine than before, and Kurt thinks they may be having some sort of moment here, but the sound of a car driving up toward the house drifts in through the window in the next instant and shatters the calm.

“Shit, she’s back early,” Sebastian groans, jumping up quickly and advancing on Kurt in a way that is frankly alarming. “I thought we’d have at least another fifteen minutes.”

“For what? Who’s back? You haven’t told me anything yet!” Kurt nearly shouts, caught up in the shift in mood from relaxed to panicked.

“My mom,” Sebastian says, kicking off his shoes quickly and ripping the top sheet down the bed so that it is a crumpled mess.

“I thought we weren’t talking to her until five.”

“We’re not, but I had a plan,” Sebastian shoots back distractedly, ducking down to stare in the mirror on top of his dresser as he begins pulling and squeezing at his hair until it is standing on end and looking extremely manhandled.

“Fill me in here!” Kurt snaps, grabbing Sebastian’s sleeve and forcing the other boy to stop his wild motions to look at him, “What is going on?”

“I figured if my mom was doubting the truth of our relationship, we could give her one more piece of proof that we’re actually dating before we have to sit down for the ominous ‘talk’. That way maybe if she wasn’t quite sure, she’d be swayed to believe us.”

“What proof are we talking about here?” Kurt asks, though his heart is already heavy with dread as he watches Sebastian start to undo the buttons on his shirt.

“She always comes in to say hi when she gets back from her tea,” Sebastian says, shucking his shirt completely and revealing a toned, tanned chest that Kurt was so so not prepared for, “So I thought we’d stage an interruption.”

“An interruption?” Kurt asks weakly, traitorous eyes following Sebastian’s fingers, which are moving down to the button of his jeans.

“Of the sexual escapade variety,” Sebastian says.

When Kurt just stares, mouth hanging open in disbelief, Sebastian rolls his eyes. “I want her to think she’s walking in on us having sex Kurt.”

“Got that, yeah,” Kurt manages to say, “I’m not going to have sex with you.”

“Please, as if that would be a good plan,” Sebastian scoffs, “She’d take one look at my disgusted face and know we weren’t really together.”

Kurt knows he’s offended by that, but Sebastian has also just kicked his pants completely off leaving him in nothing but a pair of tiny red boxer briefs and so he can’t quite find the words to retaliate. It only gets worse when Sebastian stalks toward him and starts reaching for the buttons on Kurt’s shirt next.

“What are you doing!?” he yelps, batting the hands away and clutching his shirt more tightly around him.

“Look, you can take it off or I can rip it off, but we’ve got maybe three minutes here and you are definitely getting naked. So what’s it going to be?”

Kurt wants to argue, but the look in Sebastian’s eye says he means every word and this shirt is expensive so Kurt begins to unbutton it. He knows his face is stained bright with a blush of epic proportions, but there is nothing he can do about it. At least Sebastian seems to have laid off the mocking.

When he’s got the shirt undone he discards it hesitantly, moving to drape if over the back of the desk chair, but Sebastian grabs it from him and flings it to the floor instead.

“Hey!”

“Believe me babe, if we were really doing this you wouldn’t have stopped long enough to hang up your precious clothing. Pants next.”

Kurt stands stubbornly still at that, arms crossed protectively over his bare chest. He’d like to see Sebastian try to rip off his pants. He’s so distracted by the threat of being stripped against his will he doesn’t even think about the fact that it is the first time Sebastian has called him ‘babe’ without an audience, or about the fact that he ought to be protesting the endearment.

Sebastian, it seems, is up for the challenge of ripping off even jeans, because he is reaching for Kurt’s button again without hesitation. He ignores Kurt’s slapping hands, deftly undoing the button and lowering the zipper as Kurt’s blush just gets darker. When Kurt starts actively trying to hold his pants up as Sebastian pushes them down, Sebastian gives a frustrated huff and takes a step back.

“Kurt, come on, you’ve got to work with me here. I promise I’m not after your fucking womanly virtue or something.”

“It’s not that,” Kurt insists, hating the way the red staining his cheeks is now moving down his neck and chest as well.

“Well what is it then? You can keep your underwear on, that’s more than you wear in the locker room so I don’t get what the issue is.”

“It’s not,” Kurt repeats, “More than I wear I mean.”

He hates that he’s having to make the confession, but it’s true. Four years of changing in bathroom stalls, showering only when everyone else had cleared out. At first it had been a matter of shyness, then safety, and finally just discomfort.

“You’re serious,” Sebastian says, staring at him like he’s some kind of fucking mythical creature or something. Kurt can’t help but think of Brittney and her unicorns.

“So what if I am? Just because I don’t shed my clothing at a moments notice doesn’t make me a freak,” he defends.

“You’ve really never done this before have you?”

“Of course I have,” Kurt says.

“I mean with someone other than Blaine, or somewhere other than the privacy of your own bedroom. You’ve never gotten undressed with someone else before, other than that, have you?”

“I had to get undressed at the doctor’s last year-“

“Kurt.”

“No, okay? No, I’ve never gotten undressed in front of anyone else before.”

Sebastian sighs heavily and runs a hand over his face, though Kurt can’t tell if it’s in exasperation or consideration.

“Okay look,” Sebastian says finally, “We have to do something or this whole thing might be falling apart in the next hour, and this is all I’ve got. If you’re really uncomfortable though, I’m not going to force you to do it. I’m not that guy.”

He says it sincerely, and Kurt knows that even though Sebastian is frustrated and scared about what his mom is going to do, he actually means it. He would forfeit his summer freedom, possibly even his bank account, if Kurt didn’t make the choice to do this of his own free will. Somehow that makes Kurt’s decision easier, though certainly no less embarrassing.

“Fine,” he says, looking down and reaching hesitantly for the waistband of his pants, “But underwear stays on.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian says softly, and Kurt knows he’s giving him another chance at an out.

“I said it’s fine Sebastian,” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes so he can step out of the pants, “Just, could you maybe hold off on all the commentary about how pale or soft or girlish I look until I’m dressed again?”

“Kurt,” Sebastian says again, in that same hushed voice, and when Kurt finally makes himself look up he thinks he may have been misinterpreting the tone. Sebastian isn’t looking at him with pity, or a gentle out, he is looking at him like he’s never seen him before and maybe – just maybe – he likes what he sees.

Sebastian’s eyes are raking over him in a way that Kurt can practically feel, and he knows his blush is only getting worse but Sebastian isn’t saying anything about it. In fact his eyes just seem to trace the edges of the blush instead, drinking up the spill of red over Kurt’s chest and shoulders, following the line up his neck, until finally he is looking at Kurt’s eyes once more.

“You don’t have to say it, I know I’m not the ideal,” Kurt mumbles, even though Sebastian doesn’t look like he was about to complain.

“Kurt? Shut up,” Sebastian says, eyes doing one more quick slide over Kurt’s body, “Really. Just shut up.”

He doesn’t elaborate further, but Kurt shuts up in any case. He’s not sure whether he’d want to hear more anyway, because good or bad it’ll only make the situation they find themselves in more uncomfortable.

Then Sebastian steps toward him, and for a brief panicky moment Kurt thinks Sebastian is going to kiss him or ravish him or something. Sebastian doesn’t do any of these things though, in fact comes to a stop a good eight inches away with his eyes firmly fixed on Kurt’s head. He reaches for Kurt’s hair, and that helps to snap Kurt out of the fog of embarrassment and confusion, because has he not told Sebastian to never touch his hair or what?

“Don’t,” he says crossly, slapping at the reaching hand, “I told you not to touch the hair.”

“I’ve got to mess it up some,” Sebastian says patiently, “So it looks authentic.”

“Yours is messed up, isn’t that enough?”

“I don’t know how you’ve been having sex, sweetheart, but if your hair still looks this coiffed after, you’ve been doing something wrong,” Sebastian responds drily. 

Kurt huffs, but allows Sebastian to reach for his hair this time and holds back the grimace (mostly) when Sebastian runs long fingers through it, tugging it this way and that. 

Just when Kurt thinks he’s about through, Sebastian grabs hold of a fistful of short hairs at the back of Kurt’s head and tugs, forcing Kurt’s head to bow back and exposing the line of his throat. Kurt barely manages to keep from whimpering, which is good because he’s pretty sure it wouldn’t have sounded like anything except for exactly what it was – desire. 

Is it his fault he likes having his hair tugged?

“Bite your lip,” Sebastian murmurs lowly, still holding Kurt back and exposed.

“Wha-?” Kurt manages to ask, blinking stupidly and trying to tell his dick that now is really not a good time to take an interest.

“Bite your lip, so it looks like we’ve been kissing,” Sebastian repeats, “Or I can do it for you.”

Kurt wants to whimper again, but thinks of all the most awful things he can (Finn’s table manners, Rachel Berry’s tantrums, Blaine leaving him…) and manages to hold back, and kill the beginnings of his erection. He bites his own lip hastily to remove the temptation of letting Sebastian do it, and watches in fascination as Sebastian starts to chew on his own.

After a moment Sebastian seems satisfied, as he releases his hold on Kurt’s hair and steps back.

“Top or bottom?” he asks, and Kurt is pleased to note that his voice doesn’t sound entirely steady either.

“What?” he asks again dumbly, distracted by the long line of boy in front of him and – damn traitorous eyes – the outline of a slightly-larger-than-before bulge in the front of those red boxer briefs.

“Do you want to be on the top or the bottom?” Sebastian repeats, gesturing toward the bed. “Or I suppose I could just bend you over the end of the bed.”

“I thought we weren’t really having sex?” Kurt asks, voice thready and nervous.

“We aren’t but we do have to make it look like we’re getting to it, right? So do you want to be on top or bottom?”

Kurt still hesitates, eyes darting to the now-rumpled bed that had seemed like such an innocent, peaceful place to just sprawl and read only minutes ago.

“Look babe, I’m not asking you about your sexual preferences, or to choose some weird position. All I want to know is if you want me laying on top of you or if you want to crawl on top of me. It’s not that hard.”

It being hard is actually one of Kurt’s legitimate concerns at the moment, though he hates his physiology for not caring who the hot naked guy about to be all up against him is. He lets himself think for one more minute, and while being on top feels like it might give him a bit more control, it also means having to use that control to get them in the right position and he’s not sure he can do much more than lay there at this point without actually spontaneously combusting. 

“Bottom,” he says, and glowers when Sebastian grins and winks at him.

“Always kinda figured you for one,” Sebastian teases, moving to climb up on the wide bed and gesturing for Kurt to do the same.

“Well you figured wrong then,” Kurt can’t help but spit out, even though sharing his sexual history with Sebastian was most definitely not supposed to happen. Then again, this entire situation is one huge ‘not ever supposed to happen’ so in for a penny, in for a pound.

“Seriously? I guess I can see that too, Blaine does have an ass made for pounding.”

Kurt hates that the mention of Blaine makes his heart hurt, and even more that the comment about Blaine’s ass (which, yeah, was made for pounding but that’s not the point) has made him more self-conscious too. At least it has killed all renewed efforts by his dick to take an interest in the situation.

“We switch actually,” he finds himself correcting quietly, despite the fact that he wants to just let it go. He’s not sure why, but he feels like if Sebastian is going to be picturing his sex life anyway, he doesn’t want him picturing it wrong.

Sebastian must notice something off in his tone because he pauses in his scramble up the mattress to turn an appraising eye on Kurt.

“That actually does surprise me,” he says finally, “I didn’t peg you as that flexible, being the innocent, blushing virgins you were when I met you that is.”

“You have no idea how flexible I can be,” Kurt says haughtily. He blushes again the moment it’s out, but when Sebastian laughs warmly he feels a tiny bit pleased as well, and is able to finally get himself moving to climb onto the bed.

He lays back obligingly against the pillows, staring out the window at the treetops and sky beyond and tries not to think too much when Sebastian climbs over him. It becomes harder to do when one of Sebastian’s thighs slips between his own and they are suddenly pressed pelvis to pelvis and chest to chest in a way that is so incredibly intimate that Kurt can’t feel anything but laid bare beneath it, and not just because of the lack of clothing.

Sebastian’s face is just inches above him, he can feel so much naked skin pressed hotly along his own, and he can’t stop his breath from speeding up. The tiny hairs on Sebastian’s legs are tickling and scratching pleasantly against his own, and the weight of him feels warm and solid and more real than anything has felt for Kurt in weeks.

“For the record,” Sebastian murmurs, green eyes bright and tracing Kurt’s features until they come to rest back on Kurt’s own, “Your ass isn’t half bad either.”

“Thanks, I think,” Kurt says, trying to roll his eyes so that he can brush it off instead of letting himself feel pleased.

“Definitely a compliment babe,” Sebastian says, “And since we’re pretty much naked here, I think I’m definitely in a position to make those kinds of judgments.”

“Yeah well you aren’t so bad yourself,” Kurt mumbles through the hot burn of flattered embarrassment.

“Oh I know,” Sebastian says with a cocky eyebrow wiggle that breaks the remaining tension.

In fact, when Charlotte walks in a minute later it is to find the two boys tangled up together giggling into each other’s necks, Sebastian completely collapsed on top of Kurt, chests heaving against each other, thighs rubbing, and fingers intertwined.

She smiles at the picture they make, before obligingly averting her eyes when Kurt shrieks in surprise and hides his face back in Sebastian’s neck.

“Hey mom, you’re home early,” Sebastian says, his own face looking a little less smug than one might expect, “Um, can you give us a minute here?”

“I’ll give you half an hour,” Charlotte smirks back, winking at Kurt when he peeks out around Sebastian’s shoulder again and making his blush come back in full force.

When the door closes behind her, Sebastian doesn’t move immediately, just turns to grin down at Kurt again.

“I think that may have actually worked,” he says.

“Guess we’ll see,” Kurt replies, and tries to shrug though it’s hard to do when pressed into a bed.

“Thanks,” Sebastian says quietly, still hovering just above him, “You didn’t have to do that, and I really think it might give us an edge later.”

“Yeah, um, no problem,” Kurt whispers back, very glad that he didn’t add ‘any time’ to the end.

They stare at each other for another minute, until all at once the position they are in and the places they are touching comes flooding back into Kurt’s mind and it is too much, too much.

“Can you, um,” he mutters, breaking eye contact and shifting below Sebastian uncomfortably.

“Wha- oh yeah, sorry,” Sebastian says hastily, releasing his hold on Kurt’s hands and pulling himself back onto his knees to give Kurt the room to roll out from below him.

They shuffle off the bed then, and dress in silence, not really looking at each other. By the time they have their clothes back on, they’ve managed to put the armor on as well.

“If you ever tell anyone we did that-“ Kurt starts to threaten.

“Please princess, as if I’d look any better in that scenario. I have to maintain some kind of standards, or I’d have every twink from here to the Mississippi throwing themselves at me.”

“I wouldn’t worry, they’d have a hard time getting to you through your enormous ego,” Kurt drawls.

“Honey, my ego isn’t the only thing about me that’s enormous,” Sebastian taunts, smirking familiarly. 

Kurt fights his blush and rolls his eyes, though not quickly enough to keep Sebastian from laughing at him the whole walk down the hall, as they head out in search of Charlotte and the so-called ‘trouble’.

*****


	10. Chapter 9

“I’m sorry, this is about what?”

Sebastian’s indignant words hang in the air between where he and Kurt are sitting opposite Charlotte and Greg, in what Kurt is pretty sure is an actual parlour.

Kurt reaches out automatically to lay a calming hand on Sebastian’s thigh, and only really realizes what he’s done when Charlotte gives him a tiny, pleased smile.

“Honey, we know it’s upsetting but-“

“No, you know what’s upsetting? What’s upsetting is the fact that I spent the last three days thinking you were going to…tell me to break up with Kurt or something.”

Kurt is glad that even in his temper Sebastian is smart enough not to let slip what they were really worried about.

“Why on earth would we do that?” Charlotte asks, looking genuinely shocked.

“We love Kurt,” Greg adds, beaming hugely at them both, “He’s the best thing to happen to this family in years.”

Sebastian can’t contain his eye roll, and turns with an exasperated look to Kurt as if to say ‘See? I told you, planning our wedding already’. Kurt, for his part, is feeling a bit stunned at the declaration, because he can’t remember the last time someone told him he was ‘the best thing to happen to them’. Maybe it was Blaine, months ago.

“So this entire time you were really worried about how we were going to react to dance lessons,” Sebastian clarifies, as if needing that extra assurance.

“Not just the lessons, but the fact that the club won’t let you take them as a couple,” Charlotte adds, looking as close to embarrassed as Kurt has ever seen her. “It makes me sick that they’re being so closed minded, and we’d just boycott the whole thing, but the wedding’s in just under two months and…”

“Mom, it’s fine,” Sebastian says, “I wouldn’t have wanted to take lessons from some stuffy old homophobic hag anyway.”

“I know, but it would have been so nice to get to do it as a family,” Charlotte sighs wistfully.

“It’s fine Mrs. Smythe,” Kurt adds, “I already know how to ballroom dance anyway.”

“Charlotte, Kurt, I’ve told you to call me Charlotte,” she admonishes, “And the lessons weren’t for you, they were for Sebastian.”

“Oh really?” Kurt asks, smirking at the boy next to him on the loveseat, “You didn’t tell me you couldn’t dance sweetheart.”

Sebastian glares back, then turns the dark look on his parents who just grin at him in return. “I can dance just fine, I just don’t care too,” he huffs.

“Now come on Seb,” Greg teases, “We all know you can dance, you just can’t ballroom dance.”

“Well I don’t see why I would need to!” Sebastian returns, practically spitting fire as they all giggle at him. “It’s not like I’ve ever wanted to twirl a girl around the dance floor anyway.”

“Two guys can dance together too you know,” Kurt cuts in, “Plus don’t you want to have the chance to ‘twirl around the dance floor’ with your sister at her wedding?”

Charlotte is beaming at Kurt like he’s the second coming, and Greg looks like he’s picking out their china pattern, but Sebastian is still glowering.

“Oh and I suppose you’re going to teach me then?” he asks, “You going to stand in for the girl?”

It is the closest Sebastian has ever come to outright insulting him in front of his family, and Kurt chooses to focus on the worry of their reactions other than his own desire to lash out in return. Just because the Smythe’s still seem sold on them as a couple so far, doesn’t mean starting one of their epic fights in front of Sebastian’s parents is a good idea. Luckily Kurt manages to mostly hold his tongue, and Greg and Charlotte are both looking at their son disapprovingly, but not as if they suspect anything more than the fact that he is capable of jackassery.

“I could yes,” Kurt says haughtily, because he can’t just completely let it go, “And there’s no shame in letting your partner be the one to lead. If you don’t know that, then you’re missing out on more than dancing. And here I thought you were all about switching it up.”

He’s a little afraid he’s overstepped or said something too close to innuendo for good taste in front of the parents, but Greg just laughs and even Sebastian’s frown softens some.

“Well said,” Charlotte agrees, and from the look exchanged between father and son, it is clear that they are glad she’s missed the way the words might have applied to bedroom activities. “But you won’t have to Kurt, that’s the best part!”

They all swivel their gazes back to her, Greg looking like he’s in on the surprise while Kurt and Sebastian have twin looks of mingled worry and anticipation. Because when a parent says ‘that’s the best part’ they often mean ‘that’s the most embarrassing part for you’ or sometimes even ‘that’s the part you’re going to need therapy for’.

“What is?” Sebastian finally says, when it’s clear she’s going to make them ask for their surprise.

“I was able to squeeze you two into a gay-friendly ballroom class at a dance studio in Columbus!” she squeals excitedly, “They meet every Monday, and while not everyone in the class has a same-sex dance partner you certainly won’t be the only gay couple there. Best of all, the instructors will know how to walk you through the adjustment in positioning and such, so that it feels natural!”

Kurt would laugh at the look of unadulterated horror on Sebastian’s face, but he’s pretty sure he just got roped into spending at least a month’s worth of Mondays with Sebastian in addition to whatever else turns up, so he’s not so sure he feels like smiling at the moment.

“No,” Sebastian murmurs, shaking his head frantically, “No no no no, mom, you didn’t!”

“Of course I did, don’t you want to be able to dance with your sister at her wedding like Kurt said? Or even take your old mom out for a turn around the dance floor?”

“Sure, but I don’t need lessons,” Sebastian insists, “Kurt can teach me, he said so!”

“Yeah,” Kurt hurries to add, “You don’t have to waste your money on lessons, I can teach him.”

Really he’s mostly thinking he can probably get Sebastian dancing passably in one long day if he pushes them, which sounds infinitely better than every Monday for god knows how long.

“Nonsense,” Charlotte insists, “I know you boys might think it’s a stuffy thing to do, but it’s only four lessons for goodness sake. You can even make it into a date night!”

“Mom,” Sebastian groans, “No one our age goes to dance lessons for date night.”

Kurt thinks privately that Rachel will probably die of jealousy when she hears about this, because dance lessons is exactly the kind of ‘date night’ she wishes Finn would take her on. He’s kind of on Sebastian’s side here though, so he isn’t going to say it out loud.

“Well maybe more of you should,” Charlotte says firmly, “After all, there’s nothing wrong with a healthy sex life but you can’t spend all your time in the bedroom.”

Kurt’s red again in an instant and even Sebastian looks slightly mortified to be talking about his sex life (pretend or otherwise) with his mother.

“Mom,” he hisses again, “Jesus, you’re terrible!”

“Well if you don’t want me to talk about it, maybe you should start remembering to lock your door!” she says cheerily, and Kurt shrinks into the sofa even further. If he wasn’t so painfully aware of the fact that it was Sebastian he was sitting next to, he would probably try to hide his face in the other boy’s shoulder just to get away from the cheeky smiles the elder Smythes are giving them.

“Alright honey, you’re embarrassing them,” Greg finally says, though he’s still grinning. “The point is boys, we think it’d be a good experience for you, and Sebastian you really could use the lessons. If you’re dead set against it though, I suppose I could call Olivia in here and tell her you didn’t want to take dance lessons for her wedding…”

“No, we’ll take them,” Sebastian says immediately, and Kurt is really going to have to find out just how scary Olivia can be, because he’s pretty sure he’ll like her even more after seeing her in action.

“Good!” Charlotte says, giving her hands a little clap. “Now that we’ve got that settled, I’m going to go get started on dinner. Kurt, you’re invited to stay obviously.”

“Oh, um, I don’t know…” Kurt hedges, remembering the last time he agreed to stick around for more time than necessary and how upset Sebastian had been with him.

“He’ll stay,” Sebastian says from beside him immediately. Kurt turns to look at him a little incredulously as Charlotte and Greg nod and move out of the room.

“What? You drove all the way out here and got naked with me, the least I can do is feed you.”

Kurt smiles at that, strangely feeling a bit warm and fuzzy about the whole thing, which is a little embarrassing.

“Plus, this way I can use you as a human shield when Olivia finds out the club wouldn’t let us in for lessons. She’s going to go Krakatoa on us when she hears what a bunch of homophobes the assholes are and the fallout ain’t gonna be pretty.”

“And here I thought you were starting to like me,” Kurt sighs dramatically.

Sebastian grins hugely. “Not on your life, babe.”

******

Olivia does have a minor freak out, raging through about half of dinner about how terrible, disgusting, small-minded, Neanderthals are out to ruin her wedding and hurt her brother. She threatens violence against the individual board members and the clubhouse in general, at one point actually declares that she’s going to call the entire wedding off and just wait for marriage equality to pass in protest, and shouts and cries in near equal measure. It is quite an impressive display, though Kurt privately thinks that Julian and Sebastian have exaggerated just a bit.

Then again, from the way the entire Smythe clan is flinching at every hurled insult and every falling tear, scooting their chairs subtly away from where Olivia is flailing in anger, Kurt thinks that maybe he’s just more used to outrageous displays so that it is only to him that the outburst seems understated. Public school may not have taught him as much as Dalton could, but it did inoculate him against anger. Between Coach Sylvester’s twice daily rages (not even including her near-constant disgust at and berating of the Cheerios and various student groups) and Santana’s Lima Heights fight club attitude, Kurt thinks it might take an awful lot to actually make him flinch anymore. Hell, even Finn kicks chairs.

The only other person who doesn’t look like they have hellfire raining down around them is Brian, who just continues to quietly eat his meal as his fiancée rages on. He nods along to her insults, adds his support and opinion when she turns to him looking for it, and manages to even ask Kurt to pass the salt when Olivia has to pause to breathe. When Olivia begins to calm, he rubs a soothing hand over her back and whispers something in her ear that makes her blush a little sheepishly and smile. Kurt can suddenly completely understand why they love each other, and why their marriage is going to work, because they so clearly do.

Eventually Olivia agrees that cancelling the wedding might be a bit drastic, and though she still wants to cancel all the dance lessons in protest Brian gently reminds her that they have a whole wedding party signed up, most of whom may need a refresher course on their waltz and two step after several years away from society and off at college and the like. She reluctantly agrees that it would be awfully hard to find a new class for the large group this late in the game, but declares that she’s going to dance with each of her bridesmaids at least once during the lessons just to spite the powers that be. Brian even smilingly offers to take a groomsmen or two for a spin, Julian volunteers immediately, which gets Olivia to laugh and breaks the last of the tension.

Even though she’s upset about the turn of events, and enraged on Kurt and Sebastian’s behalf, she is adamant that they take the lessons Charlotte signed them up for. Sebastian’s attempts to weasel out of it were met with a rekindled glare and a firm declaration that ‘You will go, you will like it, and goddamn it I will dance with my brother at my wedding - and not in a lame middle school circling shuffle either - or else!’

And that is how Kurt finds himself in a non-air conditioned room above a community resource center in the middle of Columbus, Ohio on the first Monday in July.

“This is hell,” Sebastian mutters beside him, “I am in actual hell right now.”

“Well it’s certainly hot enough,” Kurt agrees, earning himself a playful shoulder nudge and a tiny smile breaking through the gloom on Sebastian’s face.

“And the company’s right,” he adds, smirking at Sebastian more fully, “Who better to visit hell with than Mephistopheles himself?”

Sebastian’s smile widens, and he looks much more predatory than he did a moment ago. “Does that make you Faust then, princess? Trading your soul to the devil?”

“Suddenly this all feels like it’s hitting a little close to home,” Kurt mutters darkly.

“The question is,” Sebastian is continuing, “Which Faust will you be? The redeemed or the irredeemable? Saved in the end, or sinning with me for eternity?”

Of course Sebastian would have read every fucking version of the damn allegory, Kurt thinks bitterly. And, of course, he’d push the damn thing to a place where Kurt is suddenly much less comfortable than he likes to think about. Especially since the idea of ‘sinning for eternity’ with Sebastian brings to mind much too vivid images of the other day, pressed together nearly naked on Sebastian’s wide bed in the sunshine.

He’s saved from having to answer or think much further on dangerous things by a tiny woman whistling loudly from the center of the dance floor.

“All right everyone, if you could please gather round!” she shouts, and the various twosomes and moresomes that have gathered around the edges of the room move in. Sebastian sighs heavily and rolls his eyes, but nevertheless steps to the center of the room at Kurt’s side without further complaint.

“Great!” the woman says, “Hello everyone, we’re so excited to see so many faces here for our all-inclusive ballroom dancing series! I’m Penny and this is my partner Eduardo, and we’re going to be your instructors for the next few weeks!” 

She gestures to an attractive man on the outskirts of the circled students, who kind of reminds Kurt of a certain Spanish teacher that may or may not still play a roll in some of his fantasies. Suddenly the evening is looking up.

“Oh my god, if she gets any more chipper I think I might actually choose death-by-Olivia over four weeks of this,” Sebastian whispers into Kurt’s ear, distracting him from his thoughts and making him giggle.

The sound attracts Penny’s attention, and she beams at them before moving forward to tug them both into the center of the room with her. Kurt would laugh at the look on Sebastian’s face, but he’s pretty sure his expression matches it.

“Now I know some of you, like these gorgeous gentlemen, are here with a partner of the same-sex, but never fear! Both Eduardo and I have lots of experience dancing with same-sex partners, so we’ll be able to get you moving together perfectly in no time!”

She smiles at the group, and Kurt is tempted to roll his eyes along with Sebastian, but then Eduardo shoots him a wink and a blinding smile and Kurt can’t help but smile back instead. He turns to see Sebastian glowering at him, which puts the scowl right back on his own face.

“Alright everyone, pair up!” Penny declares, before turning to the boys she’s still got trapped by her side.

“Now you two are just going to be perfect,” she says immediately, “You’ve got the right height difference to make this work without being awkward, you look gorgeous together, and I can even teach you both to lead without much adjustment since neither of you is drastically taller than the other!”

“Goody,” Sebastian mutters, and Penny tuts at him reprovingly before turning to whisper loudly and conspiratorially to Kurt.

“Let me guess, Mr. Grumpy here is the one who needs the lessons, but not the one who wanted to come. Am I right?”

“Oh you don’t know the half of it,” Kurt whispers back, grinning at Sebastian’s pout.

Penny laughs a bit loudly, but genuinely, at that and then pulls at their arms to get them facing each other in the middle of the floor. In the background the music starts up and Kurt lifts his arms in expectation.

When Sebastian just continues to stare at him, he rolls his eyes.

“Oh for heavens sake, here,” he says, grabbing Sebastian’s hands to get him in the proper stance, “Look I’ll even let you lead.”

Sebastian still looks grumpy, but lets himself be moved into position.

“How am I supposed to lead if I don’t even know what I’m doing?” he grumbles.

“I’ll show you,” Kurt says, softening his tone just a little, “Unless you want me to lead to start?”

“No way,” Sebastian says immediately, “It’s going to be a disaster either way, so I might as well lead the march.”

“Not exactly a ‘march’ that we’re looking for here,” Kurt laughs, earning another scowl.

“You two are adorable!” Penny declares, “How long have you been together?”

“We’re not,” Sebastian says quickly, shrugging when Kurt looks at him in disbelief. “What? No one here knows us, and it’s not like they’re going to be reporting back to my mom.”

“Fine,” Kurt says, trying to keep the unexpected hurt from his face. It’s not that he’s upset about not dating Sebastian, duh, but he supposes he’d gotten a little caught up in the whole dance class atmosphere and let his stupid romantic brain run away with him. It’s not that he wants to date Sebastian, he insists to himself, it’s that he’s in a setting designed to make you feel couple-y and now is forced to once again face his own single-status. That’s all.

“Oh-kay,” Penny says, eyeing them a little disbelievingly, “If you say so. Though you’re still adorable.”

Kurt gives her a tight smile and Sebastian just looks bored. Penny gives Kurt a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and a not-so-quietly whispered ‘Good luck with that one’, before moving on to help the other couples get into dance position.

****

“This is stupid,” Sebastian mutters nearly an hour later. 

They’ve been kind of dancing, well if you consider Kurt getting his toes stepped on every few minutes and admonishing Sebastian about his limp-noodle arms ‘dancing’, and Kurt is already over this whole thing. How had he ever thought dance classes could be romantic?

“May I cut in for a moment?”

Kurt looks up to find Eduardo smiling at them kindly, and oh yes. That’s how he could have thought it.

“Whatever,” Sebastian mutters, dropping Kurt’s hand immediately. He looks a little surprised and a lot disgruntled however, when Eduardo moves in to take his place instead of turning to dance with Sebastian himself.

“Just watch,” Eduardo tells Sebastian kindly, “You aren’t actually doing too badly, but your partner is trying to lead you from follow position, which is confusing you both.”

“I knew it was your fault!” Sebastian accuses, pointing a finger at Kurt who is mostly trying not to stare or blush, as Eduardo begins to lead him in a flawless set of steps.

“Now now, no accusations,” Eduardo says, smiling at Kurt, “He was trying to teach, and it is very hard to teach someone to lead while dancing with them.”

Sebastian huffs loudly, as if he still thinks it’s mostly Kurt’s fault.

“Now watch my frame for a moment,” Eduardo says again, “Do you see how I am leading my partner with my whole body? You are trying to do it with just your feet, but your partner cannot stare at your feet all the time. They need to feel it in the push of your arms, the lean of your torso. You must dance together as a unit, communicating with your bodies. It is much like sex, is it not?”

Kurt flushes even darker then, Eduardo still smiling down at him with those ridiculously white teeth and dark eyes. Sebastian looks even more put-out.

“If it was like sex I wouldn’t be having any trouble,” he grumps.

“No? Then show me,” Eduardo says, stepping back from Kurt and giving him a little bow before handing him back off to Sebastian. “Pretend you are making love to your partner, show him how you want him to move with you.”

Kurt isn’t quite sure how dance lessons suddenly became sex ed, and he absolutely does not want to be thinking about Sebastian showing him how to move his body like they are ‘making love’. As if Sebastian would even know the meaning of those words.

“Fine,” Sebastian says, voice hard. He grabs Kurt’s hand and forces it back up roughly, glaring the whole time. He starts to move again, but ends up just pulling Kurt to and fro until Kurt’s shoulder is starting to ache.

“No you idiot, you don’t pull at me,” Kurt hisses, trying to shake himself loose, “God, don’t you understand subtlety at all? Oh that’s right, I forgot who I was talking to.”

“Just like I forgot I was dancing with the virginal ice queen,” Sebastian jeers back. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to dance with you like we’re having sex when you wouldn’t know good sex if it hit you in the face.”

“Well at least I’m not getting ‘hit in the face’ by sex literally every other night!”

“At least I’m not a prude!”

“Yeah well I’d rather be that then the guy who bends over for anything!”

“Well I’d rather be-“

“Ah I see now,” Eduardo interrupts, laughing and startling the boys from their argument. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you really. It’s just Penny said it was so, but I wasn’t so sure at first.”

“Sure about what?” Sebastian asks sullenly, glaring at Kurt again. Kurt fights the urge to stick his tongue out like a five year old.

“That you two are still fighting your sexual tension instead of embracing it,” Eduardo says.

“We don’t have sexual tension!” Kurt says firmly, “It’s impossible to have tension with someone as easy as him.”

“Fuck you! It’s impossible to have sexual anything with you and your pasty baby face!”

They glare at each other some more, and not even Penny coming to join them can get them to stop their staring match.

“What did I tell you?” she says smugly, “Enough tension to light up a whole city.”

“A city?” Eduardo asks, teasingly, “If we could bottle the energy between these two, we could solve the world energy crisis.”

Kurt and Sebastian both turn their glares on their instructors then instead.

“I only hope you two figure it out before my class is over,” Penny says with a wistful sigh, “Because once you do, you’re going to be unstoppable on the dance floor.”

Eduardo laughs, but nods in agreement. He claps a companionable hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, which Sebastian shrugs off in annoyance, before they leave the boys alone on the floor.

“They’re crazy,” Sebastian mutters, “Just so you know. I wouldn’t want all their insane theories putting ideas in your head.”

“Please,” Kurt scoffs, “They clearly have no idea what they’re talking about. They’re teaching classes over the community center for goodness sake, I hardly think they could be experts in anything.”

Sebastian gives him a hesitant smile and Kurt returns it.

“Do you want to take off?” Kurt asks a minute later, “I can lie to your parents if you want, or we can just tell them that you were hopeless and they kicked us out.”

“As tempting as that sounds,” Sebastian sighs, “I suppose it wouldn’t kill me to learn something before the wedding. It would make Livvie happy.”

“That’s…actually kind of sweet,” Kurt says, “That you care if your sister is happy.”

“Whatever, I just don’t want her to yell at me for stepping on her toes,” Sebastian says, but he’s smiling truly again now.

“Either way,” Kurt smiles back, “I suppose it wouldn’t kill me to try to actually let you lead. I don’t think it could be any worse than the last hour has been at least.”

“You know just because you’ve said that, it’s going to be infinitely worse don’t you?” Sebastian teases.

“Then I suppose it’s a good thing we have four whole weeks for you to learn,” Kurt returns, and steps back into Sebastian’s arms when he holds them up in invitation.

****

They don’t actually get too much better during the last hour of the class, but they don’t get worse either so Kurt is counting it as a win.

The sky is just starting to light up with the colors of the sunset when they walk out of the building, and the air is cooling to a more pleasant temperature as some of the day’s humidity begins to dissipate. Sebastian playfully shoves at his shoulder when Kurt pretends to limp heavily as they walk together down the street and toward the parking garage where Sebastian’s car is parked.

“Shut up, I wasn’t that bad,” he pouts, though the grin on his face ruins the effect a bit.

“No, you really weren’t,” Kurt concedes. Sebastian looks pleased for a moment until Kurt’s smile turns evil and he adds, “You were much, much worse.”

“Well you’ve got three more lessons to turn me around princess, otherwise you’re going to be the only one dancing with me at the wedding.”

“How do you know this isn’t all part of my evil plot to keep you all to myself?” Kurt quips. He realizes what he’s said a moment later when Sebastian misses half a step at the words, and his face floods red once again.

“I didn’t- I mean..” he stutters, wishing the pavement would swallow him up.

He’s just waiting for Sebastian to tease him, to make some joke and then never let this go, but Sebastian just grins at him.

“Nah,” Sebastian says finally, “If you had a hidden agenda like that, I would expect it to come with fabulous ‘evil plan’ outfits, whereas you are clearly wearing your ‘I have to go to dance lessons with my fake boyfriend even though I can’t stand him’ outfit today.”

“Of course,” Kurt manages to say lightly, hardly able to believe he’s being let off the hook, “How silly of me.”

“If you ever do start enacting an evil plan though, I recommend lots of black,” Sebastian adds, bumping shoulders with him again, “It sends the right kind of message.”

“And here I had been considering Tiffany Blue,” Kurt jokes back.

“Oh no, that would be sending all kinds of mixed signals,” Sebastian chides him, mock stern, “Tiffany Blue is the color of secret marriage proposals. You wear that to an evil plan and suddenly you’re at the altar with your mortal enemy and that would never do.”

“Never,” Kurt agrees faintly, a softer smile on his face.

They’ve reached the garage now, and are standing perhaps a bit too close together on the sidewalk outside. Kurt feels hesitant to step inside, and he’s not sure why he feels that way except that perhaps he’s not quite ready for this bizarre night to end.

He thinks about maybe asking if Sebastian wants to wander around downtown Columbus for a bit, enjoy the evening, but he’s not sure how to ask. They still aren’t really friends, even though Kurt feels like all this pretending has made them closer to that than enemies. 

It’s strange, thinking back over the past few weeks and all the little moments that started to change things, ‘til they are now something other than they were before. Kurt feels like if he could just define what that new something was he’d have a better handle on his own feelings about the situation, and probably not feel so awkward about making a simple offer to hang out. They aren’t friends, they aren’t boyfriends, they aren’t enemies or competitors or any of the sundry things they’ve been to each this past year any longer. They are just…Kurt and Sebastian.

Allies, maybe Kurt decides. It’s not quite the right word either, but it’s closer than any he’s found so far. But do allies wander around a city together after sunset, or do they ride home in darkness and part ways with nothing more than mutual acknowledgement? He’s not sure.

He’s just about to say screw it and ask anyway when Sebastian’s phone blares to life, his ringtone (Gaga, which Kurt finds hilarious considering Sebastian teases him about being a ‘Little Monster’ and yet Sebastian’s the one with her entire oeuvre memorized) singing out about being beautiful and dirty rich. Kurt thinks it is a bit on the nose, but it amuses him nonetheless.

Sebastian gives him an apologetic grimace, which is just another sign of that new something that they are to each other. A month ago Sebastian wouldn’t have thought twice about answering his phone when with Kurt, in fact he’d probably jump at the chance to extract himself from their conversation.

“Hello?” he asks, tone making it clear that he isn’t quite sure who it is calling. A moment later though his expression falls back into more familiar lines, the cocky smirk that is Sebastian’s armor sitting easily on his face. For some reason Kurt feels disappointed to see it there.

“Oh hey,” he says, voice a smooth purr, pausing to listen again before laughing in a way that Kurt is a bit startled to realize he knows is not genuine. 

“Yeah…yeah I could probably- no that sounds good,” he’s continuing, shooting little sideways glances in Kurt’s direction every few seconds. 

Kurt shifts from one foot to the other, feeling a bit like he’s eavesdropping. What is he supposed to do though? Sebastian has the car keys, and he’s the one who answered the phone while standing next to Kurt. Kurt can feel his own icy armor settling over him.

If he doesn’t want me to hear, then he can be the one to walk away, he decides, and plants his feet more firmly against the pavement to keep himself from shifting again.

“Where- yeah, yeah I remember…no I’ve got it on me, I shouldn’t need-“

Obviously the person on the other line keeps interrupting, and Kurt thinks viciously that it’s no wonder Sebastian’s phone manners are so atrocious if those are the kinds of people he talks with.

“Sure,” Sebastian says finally, and Kurt straightens up a bit, anticipating the end of the conversation. Maybe then they can finally get on with whatever this evening is going to be. 

“Yeah- um, maybe 30 minutes or so?” Sebastian says, voice a little more hesitant than it was before, and he’s looking at Kurt with that strange expression again. “I just need to tie some things up here. Okay- yeah see you.”

He ends the call and slips the phone back in his pocket smoothly, shoving both of his hands into his pockets too. Kurt is coming to associate that particular tic with Sebastian being uncomfortable about something, and he finds he’s bracing himself as if for a blow though for the life of him he can’t tell why.

“Everything all right?” he asks, voice one of calm disinterest. He’s pretty sure it doesn’t even sound forced. NYADA is going to be lucky to have him this fall, his acting skills are superb.

“What? Oh, yeah- that was just…”

“It’s fine Sebastian, I’m not your mother,” Kurt says more dismissively than he feels, “You don’t have to invent lies about who you talk to for my sake.”

“I know that,” Sebastian scowls, and oh yes. The armor is definitely back on. For the first time Kurt thinks his own feels heavy between them instead of safe.

“Fine, good, can we go then?” Kurt asks with a huff. He no longer feels like wandering around downtown, and Sebastian feels more like enemy again at the moment.

“Actually, I’m going to meet some people,” Sebastian says, and his tone is still hard and confrontational, but he’s not really looking at Kurt either.

“Okay…” Kurt says, “You do remember we drove in together don’t you? You can’t just leave me here.”

He wonders for a moment if maybe there was an invitation in the statement, a question of whether Kurt wants to ‘meet up’ with some people too. He’s not sure he does but thinks the invitation might actually soothe what is starting to feel weirdly like wounded pride.

“Yeah thanks, I know that Kurt. I’m not an idiot. You can take the car.”

Sebastian pulls one hand out of his pocket to dangle the Mustang’s keys in front of Kurt’s face. And, though Kurt has often thought about getting a chance to get behind the wheel of one of the Smythe cars since this whole thing started, the gesture feels more like a slap in the face at the moment.

Definitely not an invitation then.

He hates even more that the next thing out of his mouth isn’t scathing or defensive or even witty. It is concern.

“What about you? How’re you going to get home? I’m not just going to abandon you in the city.”

“It’s fine,” Sebastian says and jingles the keys in front of Kurt until he reaches to take them. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve found my way home.”

Kurt knows he’s telling the truth, knows that Sebastian has probably had many occasions on which he’s had to find a way back from one hookup or another. Hell, less than a week ago he was heading to Scandals with no idea where he’d be sleeping, so finding a ride home can’t be that much more of an issue for him. But it sits uncomfortably in Kurt’s gut, the thought of Sebastian relying on these unknown people to get him home (well unknown to Kurt at least, for all he knows Sebastian’s got a whole network of amazing friends in the city. Somehow Kurt doubts it).

“I can- I’ll…” Kurt stops, unsure of what he’s even trying to offer. To come back to pick Sebastian up later? To wait around Columbus for him to finish getting off? To call a cab to take him all the way back to Lima so Sebastian doesn’t have to give him the car? None of those things are real options, or at least not acceptable ones.

“It’s fine Kurt,” Sebastian says, “Just take the car. You can bring it out next time you come to the house. Hell, it’ll probably add to our fucking credibility as a couple, because I don’t let just anyone drive my baby.”

“Won’t your parents think it’s strange when you get dropped off by some stranger later?” Kurt asks, unwilling to let it go yet.

“You act like I don’t have years of keeping those kinds of things under the radar,” Sebastian smirks, “Don’t worry I won’t blow our cover.”

“Well excuse me for asking,” Kurt snaps, “It’s just that if I recall correctly it’s your inability to keep things under the radar that got us into this whole mess.”

Sebastian’s face hardens and his voice has shifted to match. “Thanks, I’m well aware that I fucked up. Jesus, you just said you aren’t my mother so stop fucking nagging me about this!”

Kurt wants to throw the keys back at him, wants to stomp his foot and scream and tell Sebastian that he’s being reckless and stupid, wants to say ‘You’re hurting my feelings’ even though that can’t be true, because it would mean that Kurt actually cared. Instead he just lets his own eyes go ice-cold and his chin tip up a fraction of an inch higher.

“You’re right, you should just go do whatever you want. If you screw it up you’ll be the one to have to explain. It’s absolutely none of my business.”

There is a war of some sort of emotion going on behind Sebastian’s eyes, but in the end the victor isn’t clear, at least to Kurt. Sebastian just closes off and backs down into the easy nonchalance and superiority that marked so many of their first encounters.

“You know how to get out of here?” he asks, already stepping back from Kurt.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Kurt says. He refrains from adding ‘Will you?’ because it isn’t any of his business. Sebastian has made that abundantly clear.

“Good. Don’t crash my car.”

The last is said with almost that same fond teasing quality that has started to become more their norm, though it is a little more forced than usual.

“I won’t,” Kurt promises, “Don’t....just be safe yeah?”

He didn’t mean to say it, but he can’t bring himself to regret it once it’s hanging between them. Sebastian can tell him to butt out, but he can’t make Kurt stop caring. Not even Kurt can stop it, and his life would be so much easier if he could just switch it off.

“Yeah, sure,” Sebastian says with a shrug, but finally his smile is genuine again.

There are no goodbyes, Sebastian just begins walking backward down the street, hands shoved deep in his pockets once more and smirking at Kurt. When he steps out of the circle of light from a streetlamp and into the growing shadows of twilight Kurt feels something sharp tug in his chest and forces himself to turn to the garage and think about getting home.

When he gets to the car he takes a moment to put the top down. He’d yelled at Sebastian for trying to do it earlier, not willing to arrive at the class windblown and in disarray, but he’s got nowhere to go but home now, and no one to see him once he gets there. When he hits the highway he lets the wind whipping by him and over him wash him clean of feeling and emotion, so that when his thoughts drift he can examine them without being overwhelmed for once.

He thinks about Blaine, about date nights between them and how it had always been easy even when it was awkward at the beginning, all blushes and sweet hesitance. He thinks about how Blaine would have jumped at the idea of dance lessons, would have spun him around the room in a parody of real steps, laughing and singing Disney songs in his ear, and then begged until Kurt dipped him. Blaine never would have argued with him about who ought to lead in a dance, but he also would never have quietly mocked their instructors with Kurt like Sebastian had done for the last hour of class. 

He thinks about how Blaine might be doing those things in San Francisco right now, dancing in the Castro somewhere with his fellow camp members and new friends, but even with the howling of the wind he can’t keep that thought from making him ache so he discards the imaginings and thinks again about what he and Blaine used to do.

The thing that he keeps coming back to is the end of those nights with Blaine, and not in the backseat fumblings sense. He’s mostly thinking about how Blaine always made sure he got home safe, how even after that awful night at Scandals they had texted each other when they were both home in bed. Blaine always dropped him off and walked him to the door, or else waited on the porch to watch and wave until Kurt was out of sight and then sat with his phone until Kurt called to say he was home safe and sound. Even before they were dating, when they were just friends, Blaine would do those things – always needing to know Kurt was safe before he could go to sleep at night.

That is how Kurt knows that he and Sebastian aren’t friends, not really. Or at least that they will never be the kinds of friends that he and Blaine were. And, as if it wasn’t clear for a million reasons already, it is also why Kurt knows he and Sebastian will never be anything more than friends (not that he’d want it, not that he’d ever ever want it).

By the time he pulls into his own driveway the wind has carried away not only his emotions but his thoughts as well, and Kurt heads in and to bed feeling hollowed out and empty. It is not entirely unpleasant. 

Just before he’s about to shut his eyes and at least pretend to sleep, his phone chimes on the bed beside him.

To Kurt (11:07 pm): You didn’t scratch the car did you?

To Sebastian (11:07 pm): No, your baby is parked in my driveway unharmed. I’m a better driver than you, remember?

To Kurt (11:09 pm): Can’t blame a guy for making sure. Goodnight Kurt.

There are a million things Kurt wants to say, wants to ask if Sebastian is still at a club or has he gone home with someone? Wants to ask if he’s heading home tonight, or not until morning, or if he’s even now in Columbus trying to find a ride. But it’s not his place to ask, so he just texts back ‘Goodnight’ instead.

It is only when a few minutes later his eyes close and he doesn’t even have to fake his sudden tiredness that he thinks maybe Sebastian asking about the car was in some twisted sense his way of making sure Kurt got home safe after all.

It may not be walking him to his porch at the end of the night, but it is something. Kurt is not even aware that he’s smiling as he drifts off into dreams.

******

Bonus Songs:

Sebastian’s ringtone: Beautiful, Dirty Rich by Lady Gaga http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7aCceaEepw

Song playing in the dance studio: A Wink and a Smile by Harry Connick Jr. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIwqw_2J6H8


	11. Chapter 10

“So you’re invited to our Fourth of July barbeque,” Sebastian says over the phone on Tuesday. “And by invited I mean your presence is mandatory.”

“Okay,” Kurt agrees easily.

He’s only been up for an hour, but he’s had a cup and a half of coffee and has beaten Finn at four rounds of Mario Kart so he’s feeling pretty good about life. He doesn’t ask if Sebastian made it home last night or is just getting in now, doesn’t think about where – or with who – he might have slept. It’ll only ruin his good mood.

“I’ll have to check in with my dad, just to make sure he wasn’t expecting me somewhere but that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“No, I mean you’re all invited,” Sebastian corrects, “My dad apparently had the brilliant idea this morning to invite the entire Hummel clan over for the holiday, so you are all expected. Obviously their presence isn’t something I can make mandatory, as I’m not paying them $10,000 to pretend to like me all summer, but it would probably be good if you could get them to come.”

“Oh,” Kurt responds, struck a little dumb with shock. That was not what he’d expected. “Sure, yeah. I’ll, um, I’ll check but that’s probably doable.”

“Good,” Sebastian sighs in relief, “I mean, I know it’s last minute but I’m pretty sure my dad hasn’t been this excited since marriage equality passed in New York, and if I told him he wasn’t going to get to spend the day talking grilling techniques with ‘The Great Burt Hummel’ he might’ve cried.”

Kurt laughs loud enough to startle Finn who’s been staring dejectedly into his rainbow colored milk since Kurt won the last race. He can hear an answering chuckle on the other end, and for the first time since they parted ways last night he feels completely at ease again.

“I’ll be sure to tell my dad that,” Kurt says, smile in his voice, “He wouldn’t want to be responsible for making a grown man cry. Well, not one who didn’t attack him or his first at least.”

“I’ve got to warn you though,” Sebastian says in the serious voice he uses when he’s trying to hide his amusement, “Expect lots of ‘meet the parents’ jokes. I was just informed of the invite half an hour ago and Julian has made about fifty different comments about the ‘future in-law’ thing.”

“You just tell Julian that my dad and Finn are still about sixty percent convinced he was here to defile me with his nefarious sexual appetites the other night, and that they’ve both told me they’ll be ‘keeping an eye on him’. That ought to shut him up.”

Sebastian laughs delightedly at that, and Kurt can hear him put the phone against his chest as he shouts something to someone in another room. He must get a response because after a moment he laughs again brightly, shouting back once more through his laughter. He is still chuckling a bit when he brings the phone back to his ear to talk to Kurt.

“He says that he’ll take the scrutiny if it means he actually gets to defile you with his sexual appetites.”

“Oh really?” Kurt hums, amused though not entirely certain it’s a joke.

“Yeah, don’t worry though, I told him he’d have to get through me first. Which didn’t exactly dissuade him, but I’m pretty sure he’s laughing hard enough at the thought of me protecting your virtue to at least be distracted from his pursuit.”

“My hero,” Kurt drawls sarcastically, though he’s still grinning and can hear an answering one in the shared silence of the moment between them over the phone.

“Hey, what kind of guy would I be if I just stood by and let someone besmirch your virtue princess?” Sebastian teases after a minute.

“Um, exactly the kind of guy that you actually are?”

“Oh, damn you’re right. Hang on a sec, I’ll tell him you’re fair game after all.”

Kurt huffs indignantly, but Sebastian doesn’t actually call out to his brother – just laughs at Kurt again instead – and Kurt is still grinning.

“So you should probably show up around two or so,” Sebastian says when the companionable silence stretches a bit too long.

“Sure, I’ll, um, I’ll bring your car back then.”

“Cool. If you need a ride back later…”

“No, I’ll just be able to ride back with my parents.”

“Oh okay…I mean good, that’s good,” Sebastian says hastily. He pauses again and then laughs at the weird awkwardness that has fallen over them all of a sudden. When Kurt laughs in turn things feel easy again, and Kurt is learning the pattern of it. The way they hit peaks and valleys, though more often than not these days he’s finding that the awkward valleys are easier to climb out of.

“Oh!” Sebastian adds after another second, “And I’m supposed to tell you that you can bring your swimsuits if you want, we’ve got the pool open.”

“Finn will be thrilled,” Kurt says, already anticipating trying to stop the cannon balls and belly flops that will soak them all if Finn gets a chance.

“What’s gonna thrill me?” Finn asks from beside him, looking up with interest again.

“Pool,” Kurt mouths to him quietly, and though Finn has no further context for where or why, his entire face lights immediately and he goes right into a silent fist pump, making Kurt roll his eyes fondly.

“Also, um, I wanted to tell you that we can see the fireworks really well from a hill at the back of the property,” Sebastian adds, speaking a little nervously, “You don’t have to bring blankets or chairs or anything, we’ve got that covered, but I, ah, I thought you’d probably want to know so that you can wear something you don’t mind sitting on the ground in.”

“That is weirdly sweet actually,” Kurt says a little disbelievingly.

Sebastian scoffs immediately, “Yeah well I just didn’t want to have to listen to you bitching about grass stains of pre-treating or whatever.”

“Sure, okay,” Kurt teases, “Still sweet though. You’re stuck with it now.”

“Fuck you,” Sebastian grumbles, but his heart isn’t really in it Kurt can tell.

“Mmm, sounds like you’ve passed that job along to Julian, what with me being fair game and all.”

“And I’m done talking to you now,” Sebastian deadpans, “Your voice is entirely too screechy to deal with before noon when I’ve got a hangover the size of Texas already.”

“I guess that answers my questions about how last night went,” Kurt says sarcastically, even as he pinches his own thigh in self-reprimand. Wasn’t going to ask, fuck.

“No, that answers your question about how this morning is going. Last night was a much better story.”

“Lovely, but I think you’ll have to save it for someone who doesn’t have a gag reflex, I’m already feeling nauseous just thinking about it,” Kurt groans.

“Funnily enough, my night actually involves someone with no gag reflex-“

“Goodbye Sebastian,” Kurt cuts him off, and he can hear Sebastian still laughing on the other end of the line as he disconnects the call.

“Everything cool dude?” Finn asks him, eyeing the phone warily and startling Kurt, who’d almost forgotten the other boy was still there.

“What? Oh yeah, just Sebastian being Sebastian.”

“Huh,” Finn says, looking as if he’s trying to figure out exactly what that means. “But, you like, like him being Sebastian now right? He’s not like, frustrating you anymore?”

“Oh he is most definitely frustrating me,” Kurt says with a smile, “Though I suppose I just don’t mind being frustrated so much now, and the rest of the time he kind of makes up for it.”

He’s meant to say it as part of the ‘boyfriend’ cover, to reassure Finn that there is no trouble in his glittering false paradise. He finds, however, that he mostly means it. It’s just one more thing that seems to be happening with near alarming regularity when it comes to Sebastian, Kurt saying something he thinks is nearly a lie only to find it’s somehow become truth along the way.

He’s pretty sure he’s going to need some form of therapy once this summer is over, at least to get him back to being a person who finds insults and crude jokes annoying again instead of endearing.

“So the pool huh? You want to head over there today or something?” Finn cuts in, clearly satisfied with Kurt’s answer and ready to move on to more pressing subjects (at least for him).

“What? No, Finn come on do I look like the kind of person that swims in a public pool?”

“You’re the one that brought it up!” Finn says grumpily.

“I was talking about the pool at Sebastian’s house,” Kurt explains, “His family is inviting us all over tomorrow for the holiday and he was telling me they have their pool uncovered if we want to swim.”

“Oh my god, that rocks!” Finn nearly shouts, launching himself off the couch, “You can never do any of the cool tricks off the diving board at the public pool, because there’s always little kids swimming under you and the life guards yell really loud. This is going to be the best Fourth of July ever!”

“Well I have to ask dad if he wants to go first,” Kurt mumbles, but Finn is looking at him like he’s being stupid which he probably is. As if his dad is going to turn down an opportunity to embarrass him in front of his supposed boyfriend’s parents. 

“Fine, yes, we’ll probably get to go,” he concedes, “But that doesn’t explain where you’re dashing off to now.”

“I’m going to go put my swim trunks on,” Finn tells him.

“You do know we aren’t going until tomorrow afternoon right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to forget.”

Kurt groans, burying his face in his hands at the idiocy that is Finn logic.

“Tell you what, you promise not to wear your swimsuit for the next 24 hours straight, and I promise I won’t let you forget it, okay?”

Finn doesn’t look so sure, but he must decide that Kurt has the power to take the pool away or something if he disagrees because he eventually, grudgingly, returns to his seat on the couch. When Kurt sips at his coffee though, Finn just stares at him until he’s forced to ask, “What Finn?”

“Are you going to call and ask?”

“I thought I’d ask at dinner.”

“Oh,” Finn sounds so disappointed that Kurt sighs exasperatedly and then lifts his phone to dial.

“Fine, I’ll ask now.”

His dad is, predictably, nearly gleeful at the thought, though Kurt isn’t sure how much of that is due to the opportunity to further scrutinize the boy his son is dating and how much is due to the idea of getting a chance to look at all the cars Kurt’s told him the Smythe’s have in their garage. It doesn’t matter though, Kurt thinks, as he sends off a confirmation text to Sebastian. Either way, it seems the Hummel’s are spending the holiday in Westerville.

*****

Kurt is awoken very early on the fourth by the beeping of his phone, indicating a reminder popping up on his calendar.

Considering he didn’t actually set the reminder, he is naturally first grumpy at the disturbance and then curious. The minute he opens the screen on his phone he really wishes the battery had died or something during the night.

It is a simple note, nothing more than the number 47 followed by a smiley face, but it brings reality crashing back around Kurt’s shoulders unpleasantly. Because it means that Blaine set the alarm, and now Kurt is going to have to look at one more broken promise.

It had started back in the fall, after they’d taken their relationship to the next level, and Blaine had become infatuated with the fact that Kurt had an actual bucket list. They’d spent many hours reading through it and giggling, and then adding more items on as they spent more time both discovering each other and sharing their fantasies and dreams. 

Blaine had even gone so far as to take some of the items (#98- kiss someone under the mistletoe, #19- learn to throw a punch, #33- cook soufflé successfully, #188- deep throat someone without choking) and plugged them in to Kurt’s calendar on his phone, setting reminders so that on those days they would have to try and cross the item off the list.

It’d been fun, and often sexy, getting random little reminders here and there throughout the rest of the year, and then completing the tasks. It felt like tackling little dreams together, and Kurt thought it would only make them more ready to tackle the big ones too. But the last reminder had gone off and been completed back in May (#116- slow dance at my prom without being elected queen), and then with the break-up and craziness of the past two months Kurt had honestly forgotten all about them.

Now though, he’s having to pull up his list and scroll with rising dread to #47, to see what it is that he and Blaine were supposed to do together today that he will now have to either ignore or do alone.

#47- kiss my boyfriend on a picnic blanket under the fireworks

Well, there’s no way he can cross that off the list alone. He feels the hot burn behind his eyes of threatening tears, because of course that one little item has brought back memories of conversations and plans, whispers about sneaking out of the Hummel house to find a secluded corner in the park to stretch out and watch the show, or barring that convincing Burt to pull out the ladder and let them climb up on the roof. It had all been tied up in talks about making this entire summer special, something for them to hold on to once Kurt was in New York and Blaine was back at McKinley on his own. 

Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

Kurt turns off the chirping reminder alarm and closes his bucket list before tossing his phone to the floor. He tells himself he will take the next ten minutes to mourn, and then he’s got to move on with his day. 

Fifteen minutes later he’s still pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes and holding in deep breaths to keep from sobbing. It feels like something is trying to claw its way out of his chest, it hurts, and there is nothing that can make it better. Because this is the first time he’s really had to confront a specific loss. Sure he’s missed Blaine’s presence, and he’s wished he could be spending the summer with the boy he loves. He’s felt useless and abandoned and sad. But now, now he has something tangible that has been taken from him, and it is #47 on his bucket list. Blaine took that with him when he left, and Kurt can’t get it back. Not today.

So even when he manages to drag himself out of bed an additional half hour later, he can’t force the smile. He lets the shower hide his tears (even from himself) and barely even looks in the mirror when he climbs out and starts his typical hair and skin care routine. It is all just going through the motions; getting dressed, greeting his family, choking down breakfast. The first sign of relief comes when he climbs into the Mustang and hits the open road, the wind just as freeing as it was the other night. Not even Finn singing to Journey in the passenger seat (he’d insisted on riding with Kurt, and Kurt wasn’t in the mindset to argue even if he wanted to) can penetrate the empty calm that the wind is giving to him.

By the time they are pulling up to the gates of the Smythe estate, his dad and Carole right behind them, Kurt doesn’t feel better but he does feel more numb. It’s better than nothing.

“Hello Hummel-Hudsons!” Greg greets enthusiastically as they all climb out of their cars and gather on the path to the front door. Kurt’s family returns the greeting, and they all start to move up toward the house as Greg chatters on about how wonderful it is to have them here, and how excited Charlotte and the kids are to welcome them into the family.

His dad and Finn look a little bewildered, as if Greg is not at all what they expected of Sebastian Smythe’s father (to be fair, Kurt had felt the same way once upon a time). Even in his own gloom though, Kurt notices Carole tugging nervously at the hem of her simple sundress, and realizes in an instant that she is feeling a bit overwhelmed by the grandeur of it all. His dad and Finn are easily fascinated and never too ill-at-ease in their own skin, but Kurt recognizes some of his own insecurities about never being good enough in Carole every now and again, and sad or not he’s not going to let that stand.

“You look beautiful,” he whispers in her ear, sidling up next to her on the path as Greg regales his dad and brother about some new state of the art grill or car or something.

“Thank you sweetie,” she says, and he can see by the renewed warmth in her eyes that it has helped, “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Kurt glances down in surprise, mostly because he can’t actually remember what he put on this morning, though he supposes the simple outfit isn’t too bad. It is all very clearly masculine at least, so Sebastian ought to be pleased.

“This place is so overwhelming at first,” Kurt confesses – even though he’s not been here more than twice himself, “But I promise the Smythe’s are really down to earth, it isn’t like…” he trails off, having been about to say ‘It isn’t like Blaine’s parents’, who had been a little cold and extremely formal when they’d met his family at one of the West Side Story shows last year.

Carole seems to understand where he was going with it though, and squeezes his arm gently. “I’m glad he’s helping to make you happy,” she whispers, and Kurt knows she must have asked his dad about the Sebastian business at some point.

It’s strange to hear it, on a day when he feels anything but happy, and it is in fact a bit distressing. He’s going to have to play his part today, and being sad about the loss of Blaine and #47 won’t fit with his role as happy boyfriend.

Before he has a chance to say anything, or even choke out an agreement, Sebastian himself appears.

He’s emerged from the house alongside his mom and Olivia, and Kurt kind of hates that he can’t stop his sharp inhale at the sight, because Sebastian just looks good. He could be the devil himself and Kurt would have to admit to that much, because like him or hate him Sebastian sure can wear a pair of swim trunks. Carole must catch the noise because she give Kurt a wink and a nudge before stepping forward to stand next to her husband.

Sebastian doesn’t look like he’s actually been in the pool yet, if his hair (still coiffed) is anything to go by, but he’s definitely been out in the sun. The trunks, dark blue, hang low on his hips and he’s naked from the waist up, chest just as tanned and toned as Kurt remembers it. When they get a little closer Kurt can see his skin is even a little shiny from sweat and sunscreen, and he smells like chlorine and charcoal and summer, and Kurt hates that he is noticing these things. Worse, that he finds them appealing.

“Hey,” Sebastian greets them, moving forward automatically to shake Burt’s hand and kiss Carole on the cheek as if he’s done it a hundred times before. Burt has obviously been won over a bit by Greg, because he returns Sebastian’s handshake with a smile and Carole practically beams at him.

“Julian and Brian are already out back in the pool,” Charlotte tells them, smiling herself as Finn’s face lights up, “If you just walk around the side here you’ll run into it.”

Finn is off like a shot, and Olivia is following behind after stopping to give Kurt a quick hug hello. The adults laugh at Finn’s enthusiasm and then pretend to be busy talking, offering drinks and making small talk, even though it is clear they are all really watching Sebastian, who is moving up to greet Kurt.

Kurt rolls his eyes at them, and feels a little less numb when Sebastian returns the sentiment with an exasperated grin.

“Hey,” he says again, and bends down to kiss the corner of Kurt’s mouth like they do that all the time too.

“Hi,” Kurt nearly whispers back, and he’s maybe a little glad for the heaviness of his heart because the kiss doesn’t affect him as much as it might have on any other day.

Seemingly satisfied, the adults are truly ignoring them now, but Sebastian is still staring at him and starting to frown a little.

“Are you okay?” he asks quietly, and his frown only deepens when Kurt lets out a rueful little laugh.

“No, I’m really really not,” he murmurs back, “But now is so not the time to talk about it.”

“Do you want to go talk in my room or something?” Sebastian asks softly, and for a minute Kurt thinks about that sunlit retreat, all soft warmth and welcoming quietude and it sounds a bit like heaven, but no.

“I’m not so sure my dad would be thrilled with us running off to your bedroom the minute we got here,” he says wryly, and Sebastian grimaces in agreement.

“We could take a walk…” Sebastian tries again, but truthfully Kurt really doesn’t want to talk about it, maybe especially with Sebastian who could so easily hurt him with the information.

“No, let’s just go to the pool with the others before Finn drowns someone,” he says, forcing a little smile.

Sebastian is still staring at him unhappily, but follows along when Kurt turns to walk around the back of the house in the direction his brother and Olivia headed just a minute ago.

They’re almost around the corner, and Kurt can clearly hear the sounds of splashing and playful yelling, when Sebastian grabs his arm to stop him. It brings to mind, unexpectedly, the memory of that first day in the coffee shop when Sebastian’s touch had been so alien to him as to make them both flinch away. Kurt flinches now too, but mostly because he’s a little afraid that if he doesn’t he’s going to collapse into that hold and sob his heart out. Sebastian doesn’t let him go though.

“Just, god just wait a second,” Sebastian growls in frustration when Kurt tries to tug away.

“What?” Kurt snaps, knows he’s the one throwing up walls this time, but they are all he has; they are all that is keeping his heartache dammed up and stopping him from drowning.

“It’s not me is it?” Sebastian asks, and his face still looks hard and angry but his eyes are worried. “Whatever’s going on with you, it isn’t something I did is it?”

“No,” Kurt admits, lets a little bit of the wall down, “It’s not you.”

“Okay,” Sebastian says and lets go of Kurt’s arm. “If you want to talk about it…”

“I wouldn’t come to you,” Kurt says, knows it’s harsh but doesn’t care. They aren’t friends, and even allies don’t expose their weaknesses.

“Fine. Fucking fine,” Sebastian mutters darkly, “I’m trying to be a good guy for once, but if you’re gonna be a bitch about it then forget it. Just don’t let your PMS fuck up our act.”

“Sebastian,” Kurt whispers, feeling contrite but entirely too fragile to apologize or take it back. He may hate the armor, but it certainly works.

“No, forget it,” Sebastian hisses, “Let’s go join the others before your daddy freaks out about us running off to fornicate or something.”

He pauses for another minute anyway, looking at Kurt as if waiting for him to say or do something, but Kurt is numb and walled up again and just wraps his arms around himself and stares at the ground.

“Whatever,” Sebastian spits out when it is clear Kurt’s not going to do anything. He shoots one more glare in Kurt’s direction and then storms around the corner. Kurt takes one more deep, shuddering breath, pastes a smile on his face, and follows.

He rounds the corner just in time to see Finn doing some crazy flip off the diving board, whooping loudly and earning applause from Brian and Julian who are treading water in the deep end and watching.

“Good form!” Brian calls out.

“Judges say 9.5,” adds Olivia from where she’s sprawled out tanning on a deck chair.

Julian doesn’t say anything, having spotted Kurt coming around the side of the house, and is instead swimming to the edge of the in-ground to haul himself out.

Any other day but today and Kurt would truly be able to appreciate the sight it makes, Julian climbing out of the pool with water sluicing off of him, revealing a muscled torso complete with deep cut vee at his hips all shimmering enticingly in the sun. His wet swim trunks cling to his legs as well, which are just as appealing as the rest of him, but all Kurt can think is I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be on a rooftop with Blaine.

Julian slicks his hair back with a hand and grins wolfishly at Kurt as he approaches.

“Well hello gorgeous,” he drawls when he’s standing well within Kurt’s personal space. Kurt smiles weakly up at him, already looking around automatically for an irate Sebastian, but Sebastian is just laying in the deck chair beside Olivia’s and ignoring them entirely.

“Hi Julian,” Kurt says, “Finn hasn’t broken anything with his acrobatics yet I see.”

“Nah, he’s fine,” Julian grins, “I’m more worried about you breaking my heart looking as good as you do.”

Kurt groans at the terrible line, but it does get a more genuine smile out of him.

“You know, it is shocking that you ever actually manage to get laid using lines like that,” he says, shoving at Julian’s wet chest to get him to move a bit so that Kurt can circle around him.

“They’re working on you aren’t they?” Julian asks trailing behind Kurt as he tries to walk by.

“What on earth would make you think that?” Kurt returns, arching an eyebrow.

“You keep coming around don’t you?” Julian grins and grabs Kurt’s shoulders to stop his progress, stepping up behind him until Kurt can feel the wet heat of Julian’s body radiating out against his back. “Come on sweetheart, it’s okay to admit you want me.”

Kurt turns in the grip until he is nearly nose to nose with Julian who is still grinning like an idiot, clearly enjoying the game.

“Ah, how silly of me! All this time I’ve been thinking I’m coming here for my boyfriend, but clearly it’s because I’m desperately in love with you, is that it?”

“That sounds about right, though you forgot the part about how much you want to ravish me,” Julian smirks, bumping his nose against Kurt’s. Kurt can’t see Sebastian, who is sitting behind him still, but apparently the boy is mad enough to not come to Kurt’s rescue. That’s all right though, because Kurt isn’t the damsel in distress type.

“Hmm, how does that part go?” Kurt hums contemplatively before his tone turns sarcastic and dry, “Oh yes. I want you, I need you, oh baby oh baby. Something like that right?”

“Yep, though enthusiasm goes a long way in my book,” Julian teases. He’s reaching out to try and grab Kurt around the waist, eyes focused over his shoulder where Kurt knows Sebastian is set up. “You know, the Sebster doesn’t seem to care that you’re getting ready to run off with me.”

“Your brother might be a little mad at me at the moment,” Kurt admits, “You may actually be doing him a favor by taking me off his hands.”

“Are you asking me to put you in my hands?”

“No, definitely not,” Kurt says quickly, stepping back blindly as Julian gives him a dangerous smirk and reaches out again.

“No hands? That’s alright, I’m good with my mouth too.”

Julian’s got him backed up to nearly the edge of the pool now, and while Kurt knows he could just laugh it off at any moment and Julian would grin and let him go, he also thinks there might be a better way to settle this. 

He lets Julian stalk up to him this time, even reaches up to grab onto Julian’s arm, before sidestepping quickly and using a move Puck taught him to pin Julian’s arm behind his back. He’s now got the other boy neatly stuck, toes edging over the pool’s edge, and all it would take is one quick push to send Julian back into the water. Kurt can’t help but grin a little smugly, because on what is fast becoming an exceptionally shitty day he’s going to take any wins he can.

“Julian?” Kurt says, voice smug as he whispers in Julian’s ear, “Give it up before I’m forced to push you back in the pool to cool off.”

“Try it sweetheart,” Julian smirks, “I’m happy to take you with me.”

It is only then that Kurt realizes his mistake. In stepping closer to Julian to whisper the threat he’d gotten to close to the pinned hand, which is now clutching a handful of his shirt. He considers for a moment and decides Julian really would take him in to the water. In a heartbeat.

“Damn it,” he curses, letting go of Julian, though there is no real anger on his face. When Julian releases his shirt to turn Kurt skips backward quickly, something about the evil little gleam in Julian’s eye telling him he’s not safe from the pool if he stays too close.

“On second thought, I’m just going to go sit with your sister,” he says hastily. 

Julian laughs and lets him go, though he smacks Kurt on the ass when he walks past. 

“Dude not cool!” Finn shouts, though he doesn’t seem inordinately concerned, as he’s trying to climb on top of a floating air mattress, which keeps upending on him.

Kurt just rolls his eyes, and goes to sit with Olivia and Sebastian. The moment he settles down next to them though, getting a smile in greeting from Liv, Sebastian stands up.

“I’m gonna go see if dad needs help with the grill,” he mutters, stalking off without giving Kurt a second glance.

Kurt sighs heavily, but there is nothing he can do about it now. If Sebastian wants to be pissed, he can be pissed. Kurt is just trying to survive the day, that’s all he has the energy for.

“You guys in a fight or something?” Olivia asks, looking at Kurt like she’s hoping he’ll have good gossip to spill. It reminds him a bit of Mercedes, that look, which makes him feel all at once better and worse.

“No, he’s just in a mood,” Kurt sighs, “I think he’s mad I wouldn’t go upstairs with him when I got here.”

It’s technically almost true, and certainly sounds like something Sebastian the Boyfriend would want, so Kurt’s going with it.

Olivia laughs loudly at that, sinking back in her chair again. “Poor baby, having to go a whole afternoon without sex.”

“Yeah well if he’s gonna be an asshole about it, it’ll be longer than that,” Kurt says without any real accusation, earning himself another laugh.

“It’s probably my fault anyway though,” he adds a moment later, not wanting to cast Sebastian in an undeserved bad light, “I think I kinda snapped at him about it. I’m just on edge with my family here.”

That too is a partial truth, and he’s a little surprised at how easy it is to share even those things with Olivia. He doesn’t open himself up easy or often, but the Smythe’s have a way of worming themselves under your skin with just a smile.

“Don’t worry about it,” Olivia says, waving off Kurt’s concern, “He’ll be fine. Just let him pout for awhile.”

Kurt hums vaguely and closes his eyes. Normally he wouldn’t think of laying out in the sun like this, but at the moment he doesn’t have the will to do much else. Lying here nothing is expected of him. Olivia is sunning next to him in companionable silence; Brian, Finn and Julian are still splashing in the pool; and he can hear the vague sound of voices and laughter drifting over from where the parents are gathered on a raised deck a little ways away. If he wasn’t so wrapped in melancholy, it would probably even be nice.

He’s almost drifting off, the warmth of the sun and his exhaustion from this morning’s crying jag all combining to make him feel sleepy, when he hears one clear laugh breaking across the lawn. He’s not sure what Sebastian is laughing at but it’s his genuine one, the one Kurt likes best. It makes Kurt smile, and he thinks he’s glad that Sebastian’s day hasn’t been ruined by his messed up baggage.

****

Kurt doesn’t end up actually sleeping, but the rest of the day seems to pass in a hazy dreamlike blur anyway.

Eventually the boys leave the pool and they all congregate on the deck to eat grilled burgers, veggies and brats. The adults laugh and trade stories about Fourth of July’s back in the day, while the younger generation groans and complains about the nostalgia. Kurt sits quietly and tries to smile, tries not to notice the way Sebastian has made sure not to sit next to him or look at him at all.

Later Greg invites Burt to go out to the garage to take a look at the Aston Martin and talk politics, and Burt agrees happily – face a little red with the third beer Kurt’s allowed him to have on account of the holiday. Greg isn’t much better off, and Kurt thinks idly that he hopes they don’t screw anything up poking around in the engine.

Carole and Charlotte have hit it off much as he predicted, and they are chatting about just about everything under the sun, from book clubs to crockpot recipes. Carole keeps laughing, and looks so much more at ease than she did when they arrived which Kurt thinks is nice.

Finn and Brian have even formed a strange camaraderie, though that may just be Brian humoring Finn for all Kurt can tell. Julian talks them into a game of badminton and they drag Olivia along with them. Sebastian stares at Kurt across the deck table for a minute, eyes still angry though maybe if Kurt wasn’t feeling his own hurt so acutely he’d be able to detect some hurt there too. Eventually Sebastian just huffs as if the whole situation disgusts him and stalks off to the lawn too, leaving Kurt alone once more. 

The sun is just starting to go down, sunset trying to compete with the fireworks to come by releasing a truly impressive array of colors, but Kurt just watches it as if from behind thick and cloudy glass. When the last sliver of sun is just barely hanging on to the horizon Kurt stands slowly and walks into the house, no longer able to hold onto the mask.

He finds a bathroom on the first floor, after a few false starts with the wrong doors, and closes himself inside avoiding the mirror and his own eyes. He just hurts and he wants to go home and curl up in bed and cry some more, not sit here and smile and pretend like his life is just fine and he’s moving past Blaine. He’s not though, not like everyone thinks. He’s still feeling stuck, waiting, and it sucks. He promises himself just ten minutes again, and sinks down onto the floor, leaning against the sink and letting the tears come.

He’s not sure how long he’s been crying, probably longer than ten minutes considering how much he’d failed at keeping that promise to himself this morning, when there is a quiet knock.

“Kurt?” 

It’s Olivia’s voice, and he sucks in a deep breath and swipes at his cheeks hurriedly.

“I’ll be out in a minute!” he calls, hopes she can’t hear the scratchiness in his voice.

She goes quiet outside the door for a long minute. “Okay, do you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine,” he replies and has to stop himself from laughing in despair at how completely untrue it is.

“Okay,” she says again hesitantly. “Let me know if you need me.”

He makes a sound of agreement and stands to splash some water on his face to start trying to repair the damage. One look in the mirror and he knows it’s probably futile. His skin is splotchy and his eyes are red and swollen, making it glaringly obvious he’s been crying. He only hopes that the darkness outside will shadow him enough to make it unnoticeable, and that maybe the signs will have faded some by the time the fireworks are over.

He’s leaning his forehead against the coolness of the mirror, trying to compose his insides since his outsides are a lost cause, when there is a louder, more insistent knock at the door.

“Open the door Kurt.”

It’s Sebastian, of course it’s Sebastian. Who else would arrive just when Kurt feels his absolute weakest?

Still, it’ll take less energy to let Sebastian in and allow him to mock than it will to convince him to go away, so Kurt opens the door.

Sebastian looks furious and as if he’s just itching for a fight, but when he takes in Kurt’s face he visibly stills, staring until the fight has drained out of him.

“What the fuck Kurt?” he asks, but his voice is gentler now. He moves into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

“I’m fine,” Kurt repeats, “Just, ah, had something in my eye.”

“What? A fucking tree branch?” Sebastian asks, reaching out as if to touch Kurt’s face. He pauses, just like he always has when he catches himself reaching for Kurt, but then much to Kurt’s surprise he murmurs ‘Fuck it’ and reaches for him anyway.

He cups Kurt’s cheeks between his palms, tilting Kurt’s face up to the light so he can better assess.

“Shit Kurt, what the hell happened to make you so upset?”

“I just…it’s been a bad day,” Kurt admits, choking on a self-deprecating laugh, “It’s just been a really bad day.”

Sebastian’s thumbs are stroking over his cheekbones, fingers cool and gentle, and Kurt finds himself pressing into the touch against his will. He lets his eyes slip closed and doesn’t even fight it when Sebastian pulls him in closer. It is finally too much, the dam is spilling over, and Kurt just curls into Sebastian’s chest and lets himself cry.

“Shhhh,” Sebastian is murmuring soothingly, one hand rubbing at Kurt’s back as the other cups the back of his head and holds him in tight. “Jesus, why wouldn’t you just talk to me? If you were feeling this bad I could have made excuses and sent you home.”

“Never would have worked,” Kurt mumbles, and it’s true. Greg and Charlotte may have bought any story Sebastian constructed, but Burt would never have let it go.

“Still, I would have tried.”

Kurt has no response for that, so just lets himself rest, sobs slowing to a quiet hiccup.

“Is this about Blaine?” Sebastian asks a minute later and Kurt stiffens immediately.

“Hey, no, it’s fine,” Sebastian adds hurriedly, holding tighter when it seems Kurt might pull away, “We don’t have to talk about it. Just…we can you know? If you want to?”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Kurt asks, voice muffled from where he’s still pressed into Sebastian’s shirt (and thank goodness Sebastian relocated his shirt at some point in the evening, or this whole thing would have been a whole new level of awkward).

“Honestly?” Sebastian asks, and laughs a little, “It apparently kinda kills me a bit to see you crying, which is really fucking annoying. Also I’m pretty sure Liv thinks I’m like, emotionally abusing you or something, ‘cause she damn near read me the riot act out on the lawn. Said I was being an ass and if I didn’t fix it she’d make sure I hurt twice as much as you ever had.”

“She’s not really that scary,” Kurt mumbles into Sebastian’s shirt, smiling a little. He concentrates on the picture of tiny Olivia yelling at Sebastian on the lawn instead of letting himself dwell on ‘It kills me to see you cry’. He’s not ready to think about that, about how it makes them more friends than simply allies.

“Was McKinley like a prison school or something?” Sebastian asks incredulously, pushing Kurt back so he can grin at him, “Because anyone who thinks Liv is anything less than crazy-scary has seen some very messed up shit.”

Kurt shrugs, but he’s smiling again and for the first time all day it feels completely honest. “Does that buy me, like, street cred or something?”

Sebastian laughs again, the real one that makes Kurt feel warm inside, and ruffles Kurt’s hair fondly. Kurt doesn’t even fight it, because it’s already a lost cause.

“Oh definitely,” Sebastian says, mock serious, “You are so badass to me now.”

“Good,” Kurt says, grinning and stepping fully out of Sebastian’s embrace, finally feeling strong enough to stand on his own again, “Because I totally have the boots for that.”

“I bet you do,” Sebastian teases, and opens the bathroom door while reaching for his hand.

When their fingers intertwine and Sebastian tugs him along back outside, Kurt realizes it’s the first time they’ve really held hands like this, even though they’ve been playing boyfriends for weeks.

“Fair warning, I’m gonna make you cuddle with me,” Sebastian tells him as they make their way across the dark lawn and toward the silhouettes of their family setting up blankets on a hillside farther out. “Liv was dead serious about her threats, and I’m a little afraid that anything less and I won’t be waking up tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you put on a good show,” Kurt replies. It’s the least he can do after Sebastian actually acted like a human being to him back there.

“Not too good of a show though, Mr. Badass,” Sebastian teases, “It wouldn’t do me any good to appease Liv just to get your dad pissed at me.”

“My dad is a teddy bear,” Kurt insists.

“No babe, your dad is a man with a shotgun.”

Kurt is still laughing when they reach the group.

Olivia gives him one long look, taking in their hands still tangled together. Kurt leans into Sebastian a little more, to make it look good, and when Sebastian sees his sister’s gaze he presses a hasty kiss to Kurt’s hair as if to add a bit of flair of his own to the show. It seems to satisfy her at least, because she smiles at them both and gives herself a pleased little nod before turning back to help Brian spread out a blanket.

Sebastian hands Kurt another blanket a moment later and they finally stop holding hands so that they can spread it out on the ground. Sebastian immediately plunks himself down in the middle and reaches for Kurt. It seems he was serious about the cuddling. Olivia is still shooting them looks every once in a while, and Kurt can’t exactly balk at cuddling with his boyfriend, so he just sighs quietly and lets himself be pulled down.

Once he’s settled in and situated between Sebastian’s legs, leaning back against his chest, he has to grudgingly admit that it isn’t that bad. When Sebastian curls an arm over his stomach, holding him in close, he accepts that it might even be kind of nice. It’s been a really long time since he’s been held. 

The two of them sit quiet amidst the chatter of their families as everyone waits for the fireworks to start. At some point Sebastian tips his head to rest it against Kurt’s, and Kurt – without thought – brings up a hand of his own to lay over top of the one Sebastian has resting against his stomach, letting their fingers tangle again.

He is feeling nearly sleepy again with the warmth and security of being cradled this way, making him feel safe even if it is under false pretenses, when the first firework bursts into color across the night sky.

They all cheer, and then cheer louder when the next set go off in quick succession. Greg tells them not to waste all their cheering right off the bat, because Westerville prides itself on putting on nearly an hour-long show. That is, of course, met with another cheer and more laughter.

Kurt’s eyes drift over the group, taking in Olivia and Brian cuddled against each other, and Carole curled up into this dad’s side. Greg and Charlotte are laying on their backs, heads pressed close together and pointing up whenever there is a particularly impressive burst. Finn is laying with his head pointed downhill and his eyes wide, a huge smile on his face. Julian is kicked back, propped up on his elbows next to them, and when he catches Kurt looking he winks. Kurt winks back, smiling at the grin it earns him, and then snuggles back into Sebastian’s embrace to enjoy the show.

They’re nearly a half hour into it when Julian wolf whistles.

“Come on now Livvie, there are children present!” he teases, and Olivia flips him off even as she dislodges herself from where she was practically attached to Brian’s face.

“Oh leave her be Jules,” Charlotte says gently, “There’s nothing wrong with kissing under the lights.”

She punctuates her words by leaning over to kiss her husband, which of course makes all her kids groan. Not to be outdone, Burt plants one on Carole too, and Finn covers his eyes though it just makes Kurt smile.

“Come on now boys,” Julian teases a second later, “Aren’t you gonna give us poor single folk a show too?”

Kurt is glad for the darkness hiding his blush, as he suddenly seems to be much more aware of just how closely he and Sebastian are snuggled up.

“Yeah, Seb, plant one on him!” Olivia crows.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss,” Finn starts to chant, grinning a goofy upside-down grin at Kurt and soon everyone (even, to his everlasting horror, his own father) takes up the chant.

Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

“What d’ya say babe? Do we give the people what they want?” Sebastian whispers quietly into his ear.

Kurt shrugs, but can’t help but tilt his head back against Sebastian’s shoulder to look at his face. Sebastian takes it as invitation enough, and leans in to press his mouth against Kurt’s.

It is different again than all their other kisses so far. There is no hesitance, no show. It is just warmth, Sebastian’s mouth slightly damp against his own as if he’d licked his lips before moving in. Kurt allows his eyes to slip shut and lets himself fall into it, choosing not to think for once today, and the surrender is intoxicating.

It is still relatively chaste at first, just a slide of lips against lips, gentle and comforting and just as safe feeling as the embrace. After a minute though, Sebastian’s tongue teases along the seam of Kurt’s lips, and Kurt opens up underneath him with a quiet catch of breath. When Sebastian’s tongue strokes softly into his mouth, running along his own and then licking up against his hard palette and behind his teeth before repeating its motion, Kurt feels it like fireworks in his blood stream. 

When he presses back into it, meeting Sebastian’s tongue stroke for stroke, the arm around his waist tightens and pulls him in more firmly, his back to Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian nips gently at his lower lip before soothing it with his tongue again. He sucks it softly into his mouth and Kurt tilts his head to try and get more, closer, anything. Sebastian just keeps kissing him, firm and steadying, and Kurt feels like all of his nerve endings are exploding into starbursts from the intensity of it all.

Eventually the angle becomes too awkward and they break apart. Kurt knows he’s breathing heavy, but Sebastian definitely is too so he’s not too bothered. No one is watching them anymore Kurt can see when he has to tear his eyes from Sebastian’s face to untwist his neck. However, he can see little smiles on everyone’s faces, which he’s pretty sure means they were all well aware of the show.

“Good thing you finally came up for air,” Julian leans in to whisper a moment later, “Or you’d have missed the grand finale.”

Kurt blushes again and it must show even in the dark, because Julian’s grin widens. He doesn’t say anything else though, just leans back on his elbows and stares up at the colors in the sky.

Kurt tries to settle back himself, but is feeling entirely too self-conscious. After a few seconds of awkward shifting, Sebastian leans in a bit more and whispers in his ear again. “Relax, Kurt. You don’t need to think so hard, just watch the show.”

He tugs Kurt back against him, and tightens the hand Kurt didn’t even realize he was still holding, and finally Kurt relaxes. As the final explosions rip apart the sky in glorious combinations of color and sound, Sebastian tilts his head to rest atop Kurt’s once more and Kurt smiles up at the sky. They may just be pretending but sometimes, Kurt thinks, the real world is overrated anyway.

When he gets home, hours later, he pulls out his phone and crosses #47 off his bucket list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to give you all a better idea of the ‘flow’ of this fic, I’m predicting, based on my outline and notes, that this is going to end up being roughly 40 parts, including an epilogue, so there is much more to come. I do have it all plotted out, so I know each step of what’s coming and how it is going to progress and end, but don’t have the chapter count locked down quite yet as sometimes something I think should take one part ends up taking two (in case you haven’t noticed I get wordy lol).
> 
> I also actually have two kind of ‘arcs’ planned (not separate stories, or a sequel or anything, just two main parts of the story within the 40 chapters), and we are about halfway to two-thirds of the way through the first arc now. I don’t want to give too much away about my plans for what’s to come, but I thought laying out the arc format and giving you an estimated number of parts might help you feel out where we are thus far and assure you that it isn’t going to be 39 chapters of buildup and then just one of sex and resolution. We’ve got some ups and downs ahead. Timeline wise, most of this will take place over the entire summer, from that first day in June through to the beginning week or so of September.
> 
> For those of you tracking this on tumblr, I’m now tagging everything I post about the fic (updates, announcements about updating, answers to questions, and extras when they arise) as both ‘fic: acitw’ and simply ‘acitw’. This way if you want to see the stuff everyone else has written or created for this story in addition to my posts (I seriously have the most talented bunch of readers, there is art and fanmixes and a trailer video and gifs sets, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, it makes my life seeing this stuff) you can track/check the ‘acitw’ tag, whereas if you just want the things I post you can track/check the other one. I highly recommend taking a look at all the things this talented bunch of people have made though, because it is all amazing and I cannot believe people took the time to create so many kinds of art for my silly little story.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and double thank you to those of you who have been so amazing about taking the time to comment, both here and in my ask. I can be terrible about doing it myself (I’m trying to be better!), but I really do just love every bit of feedback I get and smile hugely whenever another comment comes in. I wish I had the time to talk with and respond to each and every one of you, and I hope you know you are so appreciated.
> 
> I hope you continue to enjoy :)
> 
> Bonus Song: Shake it Out by Florence + the Machine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case some of you reading here weren't aware, I actually am posting this on my LJ too, which is where I update first and sometimes days before I login and update here (mainly because I am new to AO3 and still getting used to it all). My LJ username is the same as here, cacophonylights, if you want to ever see if there's an update that hasn't made it to AO3 yet or check out some of my stories that have yet to be updated. (Also, because of the prologue, Ch. 12 here means Ch. 11 on LJ, so if you see Ch. 12 there and there are still just 12 parts here it means LJ has a new update that isn't here yet).
> 
> Also, because I'm just figuring it all out, I've noticed that basically all of my extra html code (for things like bold and italics) gets wiped when I copy a chapter here, so at some point I'm going to be going back through to clean this version up - putting author's notes into actual note sections, adding the coding etc, as one of the main reasons I started using this site was because people wanted a chance to download. Be patient with me on that though, because I have limited time and so may take a bit to get around to it.
> 
> Finally, not all of my notes about updating, my bonus songs, my thank yous, ended up being copied over here, but you can find them on LJ if you'd like. Thank you for reading!

By the time Kurt finds himself back at the dance studio above the community center with Sebastian the following Monday, he is feeling much more himself again.

It hadn’t been fun, breaking down like that, but he’d never really let himself cry about Blaine’s leaving before and in hindsight it had been cathartic to let himself feel the grief of it. Allowing himself to fall apart hasn’t made the pain disappear, but it has actually made it feel more bearable, and maybe a little less intense. And it’s all thanks to Sebastian, who somehow unexpectedly was exactly what Kurt needed in those moments. Just relax and enjoy the show. Kurt’s trying very hard to make that his new mantra for the summer.

He and Sebastian haven’t talked about the kiss, which is easy enough to brush off as part of the act, or about Kurt’s breakdown since that night, but Kurt feels like something more has shifted once again between them. They wear less armor in their interactions with each other (one more family dinner at the Smythe’s over the weekend, and then one phone call that had started as a brief confirmation that they were still on for class Monday that somehow morphed into a three hour conversation full of teasing, petty jibes, and lots of laughter). Kurt feels like finally maybe he has a better handle on what they are, that they are finally maybe friends.

He’s more okay with that than he ever would have expected to be.

Of course none of this means that Sebastian is any more happy to be here, in this too-small, too-hot dance studio, than he was last week. In fact, if you ask Kurt, he’s in even more of a foul mood. Kurt isn’t sure exactly why because it definitely seems like it’s about more than just dance class. Sebastian has been scowling and snapping even more than usual ever since he picked Kurt up over two hours ago, and frankly Kurt’s getting a little tired of it. 

Yes, it’s hot. Yes, he can see how it isn’t even close to Sebastian’s idea of the perfect Monday night. And yes, he can even be sympathetic to the fact that it is hard for Sebastian to be doing something he’s struggling with, because Kurt knows how hard it is to not always be the best. But does Sebastian really have to take all of that out on him?

It’s not like it’s his fault they are stuck in this stuffy room, with the mirrored wall only reflecting the sunlight back against them all again and causing the heat to rise to near unbearable levels. Kurt’s suffering from it too, they all are, but none of them are bitching quite as loudly as Sebastian. (Okay, there was one guy who was, but his wife gave up and dragged him out nearly 20 minutes ago, which is unfortunately not an option for Kurt).

The heat is awful though, and in fact it is so humid that even Kurt, king of the layers even in the summertime, has had to concede some defeat and is down to his dark slacks, white button up undone halfway down his chest and the sleeves rolled up and pushed back, suspenders hanging limply from his waist. He’s gotten a few glares because even though he feels disheveled, he’s pretty sure at least a couple of the guys who are sweating like pigs still think he looks relatively human.

Sebastian keeps glaring at him too, but Kurt’s pretty sure it’s got nothing to do with how he looks. After all, Sebastian is still looking mostly put together himself. He’s insisted on wearing shorts, even though Kurt tried to tell him that you should wear dance attire to dance class, so the only concession he’s had to make is unbuttoning the short sleeved blue linen shirt nearly all the way down. Kurt has most definitely not been watching the little beads of sweat roll down Sebastian’s neck and all the way down into the deep vee cut of his undershirt instead of paying attention to Sebastian bitching and moaning. Definitely not.

Speaking of bitching and moaning though, it’s also not Kurt’s fault that they are doing foxtrot this week and Sebastian is having trouble adjusting to ‘slow, slow, quick, quick’ after having spent all of last week on ‘one, two, three’. 

It’s not even his fault that Sebastian keeps ruining their form and stepping on Kurt’s feet or pulling Kurt onto his own. He’s offered to let Sebastian try following, he’s offered to let Sebastian try the steps on his own or with another partner, he’s even (regrettably) offered to call Eduardo over to let Sebastian lead someone used to teaching, which had earned him one hell of an epic bitch face – and Kurt Hummel knows his bitch faces, so that’s saying something.

Sebastian is just not in the mood to be appeased though, seems more content to stew than to be cheered up. He’s just feeling ornery apparently, and not even Kurt’s jokes and insults about their fellow classmates can get so much as a smile out of him.

“Damn it Kurt!”

Sebastian has just tripped over Kurt’s feet for the fourth time in the last minute, but Sebastian isn’t leading properly so how is it Kurt’s fault that he has no idea where he’s expected to move?

“Don’t blame your clumsiness on me,” he hisses, “I’m not the one trying to strong arm us around the room. Jesus, loosen up a little will you? Shoving me around isn’t actually leading you know.”

“You’re the one who told me to hold my frame rigid,” Sebastian snaps back, pushing against where he is holding Kurt’s hand and waist with his arms tensed and tight as if to prove his point.

“That doesn’t mean you just push me around the room in circles,” Kurt seethes, “It’s a fluid rigidity, not just tensing and pushing when you want me to turn and hoping I catch on!”

“Now you’re not even making sense princess,” Sebastian sneers back, “I think all those products finally went to your head, because you can’t be loose and tense at the same time.”

“Yes you can, if you weren’t so fucking stubborn you’d let Eduardo show you.”

“No thanks, I don’t really think I feel like spending any more time with your precious Eduardo than I have to.” Sebastian scoffs, shooting a particularly poisonous glare across the room at the instructor, who is trying to help a lesbian couple with their heel leads. Oh, what Kurt would give to be dancing well enough to work on heel leads. Hell, he’d settle for any kind of leads right now.

“Fine!” he hisses back to Sebastian, rolling his eyes at how stubborn he’s being, “But at least learn to count your beats correctly. It only goes to four, even you should be able to manage that.”

He returns the glare he gets for the comment, and pushes back against Sebastian’s shoulder where his hand is resting lightly when Sebastian gives him another shove.

“I’m not the one who can’t count,” Sebastian insists, “It’s one, two, three Kurt.”

“No, you moron, it’s four beats. Two slow, two quick. We’re not fucking waltzing you know.”

“Actually I don’t know, because I’m not the one who spent the last 18 years planning a Barbie dream wedding complete with lame dancing!”

“Well you also clearly weren’t the one listening the whole first half hour of class, because Penny counted out the beat at least a hundred times!”

Sebastian scowls, face red from heat and frustration, and drops his hand from Kurt’s waist before ripping his other one away from where Kurt is still holding it.

“Maybe that’s because I was too busy thinking about how completely stupid it is that I’m standing here, next to you of all people, having to listen to a failed dancer try to teach me anything and watching you heart-eye Mr. Mambo Number 5, when I could be out somewhere getting my cock sucked.”

“Do you have to be so fucking crude? And I’m not the one who needs the lessons. You said it yourself, no one here is reporting back to your mom. I could take off right now and leave you to it all alone and then where would you be?”

“Clearly still not getting laid,” Sebastian grumps.

Kurt throws up his hands in disgust, stomping off the dance floor to lean against one of the exposed brick walls at the side of the room. He needs to cool off, figuratively and literally, or he’s going to say something he regrets, because he is letting Sebastian’s grumpiness get under his skin. It’s just that after finally deciding they might actually be friends, Kurt finds that he’s starting to hate it when their insults and arguments begin leaning toward the mean instead of the teasing. He doesn’t want to be mean to Sebastian, not really – not anymore. So he just needs a minute to breathe.

Of course Sebastian isn’t going to give him the space though, stalking after him with his eyes snapping hotter than the rays of the dying sun spilling over him as he stomps past the windows.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he growls, “You’re being a bitch.”

“I’m being a bitch? Sebastian there are plenty of mirrors, go ahead and have a look in one, I’ll wait.”

“Ha-fucking-ha, you’re hilarious.”

“I’m right,” Kurt insists, “I don’t know what is going on with you but you have been in a mood ever since I got in your car and I’m getting tired of it.”

“What’s ‘going on’ with me is that I have you for a dance partner, and you suck,” Sebastian seethes, nostrils flaring in irritation. “Do you know how fucking frustrating it is to dance with you, you don’t move where I want you to move, and you don’t seem to get any of my signals about where to go next, what the hell am I supposed to do? I bet with anyone else I’d dance just fine!”

“I’m trying here,” Kurt snaps, “I know it isn’t easy, and I know you’re frustrated but I can’t follow when you won’t lead! And you said you didn’t want to dance with anyone else when I offered!”

“I don’t want to dance with anyone else, I want you to fucking stop lecturing me about frame and counts because I’m leading just fine, thanks, it’s you who can’t seem to follow properly,” Sebastian sneers, and Kurt just rolls his eyes because Sebastian has to know what bullshit that is. 

“So I’m the whole problem here then huh?” Kurt asks, voice heavy with sarcasm, “I suppose I just have no idea how to follow, or dance, or even fucking exist and your whole life would be a hell of a lot better if I just disappeared.”

“Wow Hummel, seems we finally agree about something. You took the words right out of my mouth.”

It is stupid, Kurt knows, to let it get to him. He knows Sebastian is in a bad mood, knows Sebastian’s on the defensive because in this room Kurt has the upper hand just by luck of experience and skill, knows that Sebastian walked into the room with something else already bothering him, though Kurt can’t for the life of him figure out what. 

Kurt even knows, logically, that Sebastian doesn’t mean it, doesn’t really wish Kurt would just disappear, because they are friends now damn it. But it hurts, and it makes him spitting mad, and both of those things make his stupid body want to cry, which is the very last thing he wants to do in this situation. He squeezes his eyes shut tight, fists his hands at his sides and presses them back against the cool roughness of the brick behind him, anchors himself to that sensation.

Sebastian, to his credit, seems to recognize immediately that he has overstepped the line between their usual barbed teasing and plain meanness.

“Kurt,” he tries, voice apologetic but still full of frustration, as if even now he can’t let go of whatever is bothering him.

“Don’t,” Kurt says, putting up a hand to halt him when Sebastian tries to step in closer, “Just. I’m going to go get a drink and when I come back we’ll go back out on the dance floor to try again and things will be fine. But just…just don’t.”

Sebastian has a hand halfway across the space between them still, hanging there mid-reach, and his eyes are still just a conflict of emotions. But Kurt’s got his own emotions to deal with, cannot worry about Sebastian’s too right this second, so he just pushes off the wall and walks away.

Out in the hallway it is a little cooler, thank goodness, and he does in fact stop at the drinking fountain to gulp down some lukewarm metallic tasting water. That isn’t quite enough time though, he’s not quite ready to go back in and play nice (or as nice and he and Sebastian are ever capable of playing that is) so he walks further down the hall and pushes into the restroom.

He goes right to the sinks, turns the tap until the water is running icy cold, and then ducks his head under it and lets the coolness numb away his anger. When he pulls back little rivulets of water stream down his face and the back of his neck, soaking into the white of his shirt and turning it partly translucent, but he can’t make himself care too much. 

Kurt two years ago would have blanched at the way his skin is visible, the peachy tone clearly showing through the now damp material, but Kurt today has become much more comfortable with himself. Hell, if he can get practically naked with his mortal enemy (mortal friend?) he can certainly walk into a room full of people he’ll never see again once this is all over with a tiny bit of skin on display. If anything the part making him cringe is the crime against fashion his outfit is in danger of becoming, that and he’s not sure if this shirt was dry clean only in which case it’s pretty much fucked. Oh well though, it’ll hardly be the first time he’s lost a piece of his wardrobe trying to clean up in a bathroom. That had practically been a daily experience sophomore year. Kurt doesn’t think he’ll ever quite get over his hatred of Red Dye #2.

He runs a hand through his hair, which is plastered limply against his forehead, pushing is back until it is standing up in messy spikes, dark with sweat and water. That would also normally bug him, but at this point he’ll be happy just getting through the rest of this lesson without resorting to violence so his hair will just have to take the hit. He thinks briefly about gorgeous Eduardo and his smile and is a little disappointed to be walking back in looking such a mess, but it isn’t worth spending the time to try and make himself presentable. He’s almost certain that between the heat and the fact that he has zero products with him it would be pretty much a lost cause anyway.

One more deep breath, a stern look at himself in the mirror to remind himself that he has just decided Sebastian is his friend so he can’t very well treat him as any less, and then he pushes off the porcelain and walks back out into the hall, stride sure and confident once more.

When he walks back into the dance room he finds that the class has gathered in a circle again, and Penny and Eduardo are demonstrating something in the middle of the group. 

A little abashed at having just disappeared in the middle of the lesson, Kurt slinks up to the outskirts of the circle. As luck would have it, Sebastian is - of course - right there, looking at him like he kind of wants to throttle Kurt and beg for forgiveness all at the same time. He catches Kurt’s eye and jerks his head to signal Kurt over, stepping to the side to make Kurt a space in the circle.

“Thanks,” Kurt murmurs, and ignores the once over Sebastian is now giving him, taking in his even more rumpled appearance.

“New look princess?” he asks, voice casual, but there is a question there too Kurt can tell. It says ‘Are we okay now?’

Kurt arches an eyebrow at him and gives him a smirk in return, “What, haven’t you heard? Bathroom chic is all the rage in Paris this season.”

What he means is ‘Yeah, we’re okay now’.

Sebastian smiles more genuinely, nudges his shoulder in that familiar way that has been missing all evening. “Oh of course, silly me.”

Kurt doesn’t say anything more, just trains his eyes on their instructors determined to not get called out again, but can’t help nudging back just once.

Despite his hope of remaining unnoticed, the fates are not on Kurt’s side this evening because not even a minute later Eduardo is pulling him forward into the center of the circle.

“Kurt, will you help me demonstrate?”

Kurt can see that Penny has pulled one of the women dancers into the center too, and while he appreciates their commitment to teaching same-sex partners to dance, do they really need to use him as an example, today of all days?

“Um…”

“You are one of the best students here,” Eduardo whispers, and even though Kurt knows Sebastian didn’t hear it he can’t help but smirk triumphantly over at where Sebastian is standing, arms crossed tightly and looking grouchy again.

“Okay, sure,” Kurt says, because oh he is going to show Sebastian just how well he can dance.

“If you’d like you may lead,” Eduardo says, “But I know some of the men are having trouble learning to follow, perhaps watching you succeed would help their confidence?”

“Following is fine,” Kurt agrees, glad he refrained from saying ‘I’d follow you anywhere’ when Eduardo flashed that damn smile again.

He wouldn’t mean it anyway, because as cute as Eduardo is and as great as that smile looks, Kurt isn’t actually crushing too hard. He mostly just can’t help but get a little flustered when a gorgeous guy compliments him, and really who could blame him for that?

“Excellent,” Eduardo says, and nods to one of their assistants who is over by the stereo. 

The music starts up and Kurt moves easily into position, one hand resting light but firm on Eduardo’s shoulder, the other held in Eduardo’s own, while Eduardo’s second hand settles heavy and warm at his waist.

Kurt recognizes the song, smiles when he remembers Mike Chang using it once during booty camp when he was showing them some classical dance steps and having to stop four times to tell Kurt to stop shimmying. Kurt couldn’t help it, because for once he’d already known the steps Mike was trying to teach and was bored. Besides he likes to shimmy. So sue him. He’s pulled from his memories by Penny’s voice.

“And slow slow quick quick,” Penny is calling out, and they begin to dance.

Dancing with Eduardo is nothing like dancing with Sebastian, mostly because they are actually managing to move for more than just two steps in a row. It is a little thrilling, being guided around the open space of the circle nearly effortlessly. It’s easy to read all the signals Eduardo puts into his frame, easy to know when to turn, when to step out, when to slide. Still, when Kurt catches Sebastian’s eye on one of their circles around he can’t help but think if only they could get the technicalities down, Sebastian would be a much better partner than Eduardo. 

He can’t say exactly why he thinks so, because it isn’t some romantic vision of dancing with a man he’s (pretend) dating or any such nonsense. It is, perhaps, because he knows the give and take of the verbal dance he and Sebastian do with each other nearly daily now, and no matter who is leading and who is following they move through it flawlessly. 

Or maybe it is because he sees a fire burning behind Sebastian’s eyes sometimes, knows that Sebastian is passionate about being the very best he can be, knows that Sebastian is just as determined to never be overlooked or passed by as Kurt is. Maybe it is just because he has, in fact, seen Sebastian dance, and knows that when he gets moving fluidly he is – was even back when Kurt hated him – a thing of beauty to behold.

Kurt wishes for just another second, stepping past and back, twirling fast and then sliding slow, that they were the kind of friends who could say those things to each other. That he could tell Sebastian he sees those things in him, sees the passion and potential and talent. But of course he can’t because they still aren’t nice to each other, at least not so directly.

This truth is made even more apparent in the next minute, because as they dance by again Sebastian’s scowl has turned into a full-on glare, though Kurt thinks for a moment it might be aimed at Eduardo instead of at him. Which is ridiculous, because why on earth would Sebastian be glaring at their teacher when Kurt is so clearly proving himself superior right here, practically begging for Sebastian to scowl at him with every perfect step and turn.

“He does not like watching us dance together,” Eduardo whispers into Kurt’s ear, a hint of laughter undercutting his words.

“What?” Kurt asks, startled from where he’s been trying to catch another glimpse of Sebastian, and looking up wide-eyed at Eduardo’s amused smile.

“Your boy who is not your boy,” Eduardo clarifies, “He is most unhappy being sidelined like this.”

“Oh, well yeah,” Kurt agrees, “He likes being the center of attention.”

“I think he would like very much to be the center of your attention,” Eduardo teases, and Kurt’s cheeks heat up to an even brighter red than the heat and movement has already colored them.

“No,” he says firmly, “Sorry Eduardo, you may be good at teaching people to dance but you’re no good at reading them. He can hardly stand me some days, believe me.”

“There is a fine line between hate and love though, isn’t there?” Eduardo asks, “Both are passionate emotions that may be mistaken for each other on first glance.”

“Well believe me we’ve more than first glanced, and it is definitely not love,” Kurt confirms.

Eduardo gives him a little humoring smirk, and twirls him quick and dramatic before pulling Kurt in a little closer than before.

“If that is so, then why is he looking at me as if he would very much like to mount my head on a pole?”

Kurt chances another glance Sebastian’s direction, and he does in fact seem to be even angrier than before. He is shooting daggers at them with his eyes, lip half curled in snarl, and when Eduardo lets his hand drift a little lower on Kurt’s back he takes a half step forward into the circle before he stops himself.

Which is all very…strange.

But Kurt knows there is an explanation for it, because Sebastian’s acted like this around Julian before too – back when they weren’t even friends – and Kurt knows that wasn’t about him, at least he thinks he does. So this is just another case of misplaced anger or posturing or something. Sebastian simply doesn’t like that Eduardo is upstaging him (which actually sounds exactly like Sebastian, so it isn’t even a stretch for Kurt to believe it). 

Add to that his terrible temper today, and Sebastian’s behavior seems like nothing more than a spoiled little boy being mad he isn’t as good at everything in the world as he wants to be. Kurt can sympathize a little at least, because he may not have been raised in the Smythe’s wealth but there is no denying he too was a spoiled little boy who got too frustrated too quick sometimes when he couldn’t master something he desperately wanted to.

In any case when the song ends and Eduardo releases his hold on Kurt with another little bow, Sebastian doesn’t stop glaring at their instructor, completely ignoring Kurt who has come to stand by his side again, so there is no way that whole thing could be about him, Kurt decides.

“Trying to set him on fire with your mind, or is that just the face you make when you’ve got your next targeted hookup acquired?” he drawls.

Sebastian startles from his glare to look down at Kurt confused. “What? I’d never hook up with that guy!”

“Really?” Kurt asks honestly a little curious, “Why not? He’s not bad to look at.”

Sebastian is scowling again, this time at Kurt. “He’s old, he’s too full of himself, and I think I saw the beginnings of a bald spot when he twirled you around using his gigantic ego for momentum.”

“You did not,” Kurt chides, amused. “You’re just mad that he’s a better dancer than you.”

“He is not!” Sebastian immediately rejoins, then seems to think better of that argument when Kurt holds back an honest-to-god guffaw, and so amends his words – just a little. “Okay, maybe he is, but I could be so much better than him. If I wanted.”

“Oh really?” Kurt teases gently, “Because I’d love to see some of that, anytime now. My feet are really starting to protest the abuse of your stomping on them all the time.”

Sebastian goes stiff and then deflates all at once.

“Whatever, so I suck at this. You think I don’t know that?”

“Hey, no,” Kurt soothes, still smiling at him but keeping the tease light, “You aren’t that bad, I don’t think people need all ten of their toes anyway so I should be fine.”

“Oh fuck you,” Sebastian says, but he’s grinning again too.

“For the record,” Kurt tells him, dragging him back to a free corner of the room and pulling his arms back up into dance position, “I think you could be a great dancer, if you just let yourself feel it instead of fighting me every step of the way.”

“Yeah?” Sebastian asks, trying for cocky but mostly sounding like he actually needs the reassurance.

“Yeah,” Kurt confirms, “Definitely better than Eduardo.”

That gets him a full on grin, Sebastian looking just pleased as punch, and Kurt fights the urge to do something stupid like laugh and hug him. Instead he just adds, “And we’ve still got two whole lessons left. If you just give it a chance I bet we can turn you into Fred Astaire himself by then.”

“You are so full of shit babe,” Sebastian teases, but when he starts leading the dance this time his frame is the right mix of tension and movement and Kurt finds they’ve gotten through six whole steps without thinking.

“Maybe so, maybe not,” Kurt tells him, “But I definitely plan on being Ginger Rogers so the least you can do is try to keep up.”

He waits for the quip about his femininity making it a good comparison or something, after all he’s kind of left himself open on purpose just to set Sebastian back at ease (lead and follow he thinks, just like dancing). Sebastian, however, seems to have changed the steps in this particular dance because he just smiles at Kurt and twirls him. It is not perfectly executed, in fact it’s a little stumbly, but they get all the way through it and keep moving, so Kurt doesn’t even try to hide his smile.

*****

They manage to fake their way through the remainder of the foxtrot, and there is even a moment where they make it through a whole half a song without messing up once, so their moods are vastly improved by the time they stumble out of the studio forty minutes later. In fact, Sebastian’s earlier attitude seems to have finally faded mostly to the background, leaving the boy Kurt actually doesn’t mind spending time with behind.

Sebastian dumps half a bottle of water over his head and spikes his hair back to match Kurt’s, saying it’ll be fun to see what Kurt’s dad thinks they’ve been doing when he drops Kurt off. Especially because he’s already gotten Kurt to agree to leaving the top down on the drive home. Between water, wind and the sheen of sweat drying on their skin Kurt is pretty sure they are going to look a little debauched by the time they get to his house.

Kurt is guzzling from the second water bottle Sebastian hands him, desperate for hydration after the stifling heat, when Sebastian’s phone chimes, signaling a new text. Kurt nearly chokes on his mouthful, because it is too reminiscent of last week. He’s already resigning himself to driving the Mustang home alone when he sees that Sebastian isn’t leering or smirking or otherwise looking pleased with the message, but instead is frowning down at his phone as if it has personally offended him somehow.

“Everything okay?” Kurt asks after a minute.

“Huh?” Sebastian says, looking up and as if he’s pulling his mind back from some thought or other, “Oh yeah, just my mom. There was a huge pileup on the highway between here and Lima apparently.”

Kurt’s stomach drops, because in his life he has lost or nearly lost too many people to ever not immediately assume the worst when someone texts or calls about an accident.

“It’s not…no one we know was hurt right?”

Sebastian looks back at him, startled again at the tremor in Kurt’s voice, but seems to quickly catch on to Kurt’s worry.

“Oh god, no no, sorry,” he says hastily, “It’s just that they’re saying on the news it’s probably going to take a couple hours to clear and get traffic moving again.”

“Oh,” Kurt sighs, voice relieved. “Um, so should I look for back roads to my house from here instead, or do you want to circle around through Westerville on the freeway or what?”

“Actually, my mom wants me to bring you back to the house,” Sebastian says, as if he can’t quite process the words yet.

“What? Back to your house? Why?” Kurt asks. Apparently he’s not processing well either.

“Um, she says ‘it’s late already and she doesn’t want us out on the road for the next four hours, driving all over hell and back’.”

“Your mother did not say ‘all over hell and back’,” Kurt argues, rolling his eyes.

“No, she didn’t,” Sebastian agrees, “But she did tell me to bring you to the house.”

“Like, until it clears up?” Kurt asks, even though he knows that’s not it.

“Like until the morning,” Sebastian corrects, “She says she already called your dad and got the okay. Looks like you’re spending the night.”

“Oh.”

Kurt feels off kilter at the idea. Which is stupid, because Sebastian spent the night at his house, in his bed for goodness sake, not so long ago and they survived that didn’t they? Besides the Smythe’s have a huge house, and if Charlotte is expecting them then she’s probably waiting up, and no one is going to even think of suggesting that Kurt sleep in Sebastian’s room. Parents don’t do that, parents set up guest rooms, and set alarms to go off every hour to make sure you aren’t sneaking around, and threaten your freedom if you so much as think about sneaking in a midnight rendezvous.

So Kurt should be just fine. He’ll get to sleep in a bed that is sure to have sheets of a thread count that is acceptable to even his high standards and expensive taste, he’ll get to eat breakfast with Olivia and hear more about New York, and maybe – if he’s lucky – he’ll even be able to convince Sebastian to borrow his dad’s car when they head back to Lima in the morning. Kurt really wants to ride in that car (okay he really wants to drive that car, but he’s learned to limit his expectations to things that are at least slightly possible).

Plus, Sebastian looks like he feels just as weird about the whole thing as Kurt does, which is oddly comforting. 

“Okay, that’s fine,” Kurt says with more confidence than he feels, “If it’s okay with you?”

“Not really a choice, is it?” Sebastian asks, which isn’t really an answer either but it’s all he offers before turning to start walking toward the parking garage.

Kurt has to pick up his pace a bit to match Sebastian’s fast stride, feeling like he’s being punished somehow for the turn of events. 

“I’m sorry it’s so difficult for you to share air with me, let alone let me into your home unexpectedly, but it isn’t really my fault there was an accident on the highway you know,” he huffs impatiently when they reach the car.

Sebastian doesn’t respond, just unlocks the doors and climbs in. He isn’t taking the time to put the top down either, and Kurt doesn’t know what that means except that perhaps the fun part of the evening is over and they are right back to the grumpy Sebastian that picked him up hours earlier.

“Fine, don’t talk to me.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes, looking very exasperated, as he backs out and navigates the turns of the garage toward the exit.

“I’m not not talking to you, I just don’t know what you want me to say.”

Kurt waits until Sebastian’s paid the attendant and pulled back onto the street before speaking.

“How about ‘no Kurt, I don’t care that you’re coming over’ or ‘Gee, sorry you’re stuck with me for the night, that must suck for you’?”

“But neither of those things is true,” Sebastian tells him, voice still infuriatingly calm.

“Well I’m so sorry I’m inconveniencing you,” Kurt mutters, turning to press his sweaty temple against the cool glass of the window.

“It’s not that either, god stop putting words in my mouth!” Sebastian says, his façade of non-interest cracking a little.

“Then what is it like?”

“It’s…it’s nothing, it just doesn’t matter okay? You’re coming and staying and it’s just what’s happening. Why do you insist that I feel something about everything? Can’t it just be something that is?”

“Fine, it’s just something that is then,” Kurt huffs, sinking back in his seat, “Sorry I bothered you by worrying about what you’re feeling.”

“Yeah well you don’t need to worry,” Sebastian mutters darkly, both hands clenched tight to the wheel, “Because I’m not going to be feeling anything about you any time soon.”

Kurt snorts a sarcastic laugh. “And here I was just thinking we were maybe starting to be friends.”

Sebastian doesn’t have anything to say to that apparently, because he drives in silence though Kurt can feel tension radiating off of him in waves. Even with the strained atmosphere though, Kurt finds himself starting to drift off about a half hour into the drive. The dark space, the movement of the car and white noise of the road, and his own exhaustion from class all combine to put him half way to sleep. 

It’s why he thinks at first he must be dreaming it when Sebastian says, “We are.”

“We are what?” Kurt mumbles sleepily, sure Sebastian is going to tell him he’s imagining things.

Sebastian looks startled, like maybe he thought Kurt was truly asleep, but he doesn’t shrug it off.

“Friends,’ he says instead, then again more firmly. “We are friends.”

He looks a little uncomfortable at having made the admission, darting little looks at Kurt every few seconds and clutching the steering wheel tightly once more. Kurt is still feeling hazy enough to not give him a hard time about it though, isn’t even really thinking all that clearly, so he answers easily.

“Of course we are.”

Sebastian laughs, quiet but genuine, and Kurt feels pleased at having evoked the sound as his eyes drift closed again.

“Wake me up when we get there,” he murmurs, snuggling down further into the seat and pillowing his head against his discarded jacket from earlier in the evening.

“Sure thing,” Sebastian tells him fondly, and Kurt thinks he’s going to have to tell Sebastian to work on hiding that tone if he ever wants to convince anyone they aren’t friends ever again.

******

Author’s Note: Thank you all so much for the awesome feedback on the last chapter! I really cannot express enough how completely blown away and humbled I am by the response to this story and I hope you continue to enjoy. Next update Wednesday :)

Bonus Song: The song that Kurt and Eduardo dance to is Fever by Peggy Lee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGb5IweiYG8


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